"You, I saw that." Growled Brownie in a very aggressive manner. "Where is mine? I fancy a cough sweetie too, my throat is hurting with this cold wind blowing at me all day. I get first choice, I am the eldest, you know."

" Brownie, I only have one and I am late for my 2.30pm conference call, I gotta run. Go to Santa Mutt he is well stocked up I hear."

I ran up the stairs, my heart breaking for these two dogs and the Chimney Sweep Boy and Santa the cork screw seller. How could I help them all when I was lucky to still have a job myself?

I rushed back to the office after my own power yoga class at Equinox, probably the same one and I saw to my horror , two very miserable identical twin dogs chained outside with no water and on one very tight lead. Both dogs were looking hungrily up and down the street at all the passers by. Goodness, couldn't the owner provide at least a leash each for these two animals or a wter bowl, talk about cost cutting.

"Hey you two, Wee Santa Mutt up the road has free treats I saw him just minutes ago. Tell your owner to take you to see him for a yummy healthy snack."

"Wouuurrrfffff. Fat chance, SP, our owner can not afford a dog walker any more and she chains us up all day on this pole in the freezing cold on 5th Avenue and 24th Street, outside her office, relying on office worker passer bys to give us food. What did we get today, Brownie? An old shoelace and a half eaten Subway cheese baguette thing to share. It was horrid with all those pickles and whatever crap they put in it but we ate it anyway as we were starving. Brownie over there ate most of it too as he is the oldest and says it is his perogative to eat first. Have you got anything for us?. We daren't complain in case we meet the same fate as Maxie, Sob. I loved that old dog, may he rest in peace whereever he is."

I had just come from the gym but I found a cough pastille in my gym bag, I gave it to Blackie as he was the thinnest. Jeez Louise, what are things coming to?

"To the SP Doggie Community, I know you are out there. I have extra doggy treats of all flavors in my hood. I appeal to you, be cheerful. Your owners need your love more than ever these days. Come find me outside Equinox on 19th Street and Broadway between 1pm and 2pm Tuesdays and Thursdays when my lady owner takes her power yoga class and I will sort you out.

Don't despair, we will get through this together. Help each other out. I have heard shocking rumors of dog food being watered down with pot noodle and White Castle burgers, anything to make it last another few days. Eat it, don't complain. When things get really tough at home and cutbacks are made we will be the first to go and you know what that means. Yes. The Dog Pound in the sky. Wuuff, sob! Poor Maxie disappeared last week, no one knows there. Keep your head down, be cute and stay out of trouble."

"Woof Woof! I think it is very sad what has happened to the Santas and Elves and Chimney Sweeps in this town and seeing them take up these lowly jobs is devastating but one must move with the times. Look at me, I have my own Santa outfit. I know Santa will not visit me this year so I took a pragmatic approach and say to hell with it, I will be my own Santa, be self sufficient. I have some yummy raw doggy treats in my hood from Pure Foods on 23rd Street and Grammercy Park and I am good to go."

"They gave me $5 an hour because of my age. I have never been so miserable in my life. I work 24 hours a day as the damn diner never closes. I stand on the heating vent, trying not to pass out with the hot air blowing up my tunic. Most folks ignore me and the Boy. Ho! Ho! Ho! Boo! Hoo! Hoo! more like. You are the only one who stopped and noticed me.

I am used to everyone standing waiting to see me and giving me love and now this! SP, you can't let the Santas live like this. No one seems to care but you, probably because you are a beautiful, kind Princess and a yogi or so they say."

"SP, I have two gifts but they are not for me, they are for the waiters, it is all a con. My job is stand here, smile and encourage hungry passers by to stop in for a nosh , with the subliminal message that they make a get a gift as a reward for eating here. The food is awful too, all processed and full of animal fats.

The restaurant is empty no wonder. I wish I could join my family and all the elves but I will suffer on for my pittance of $3 an hour , at least I am trying to make an honest living. Many chimney sweep boys have given up and taken to breaking into cars this season. Times are tough."

Gosh. Last year there was a real Santa on Main Street , Sag Harbor, giving out gifts and bringing joy to us all.

Now look, some fake statue, cold as ice. Empty handed too, where's my gift?

"Don't forget about us. We may look smiley but we are in captivity in the Sag Harbor Church Christmas bazaar, instead of standing in a garden feeling the wind on our faces. Plus they are selling us at a measly $1.50 each.What an insult. I am worth $5 at least. Do something SP!"

Scottish Princess News Alert, Read All About It!

The global meltdown has forced many Santas and elves to take up employment as shop window dummies and other menial labor positions.

In this weeks New Yorker a depressing cartoon was featured of two elves sitting downing martinis in a bar.

"What a Christmas, first the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."

The proof is here. This poor old Santa probably in his 80's was hiding in the back of the Duane Reade window display on 23rd Street one night when I was making my way home through the snow and sludge.

"Santa, what you doing selling baking trays and corkscrews, you are supposed to be providing Christmas cheer to us all and giving out gifts to deprived or spoilt children at Macys and Bloomies. You look like you are in a state of shock."

"Ahh, SP, you found me. This is so humiliating but the Missus made me do it or we will have no Christmas pud this year. Santas are being laid off by the hundreds these days."

"I thought it was the bankers and Chrsyler auto makers that were hurting, you too, this is terrible, let me see what I can do. Last year Home Depot kidnapped the Elves and forced them to sell cake mixers and the Super Blue Jew rescued them at my request.

Stay calm. "

One SP piece of advice for the this holiday season of need and suffering, if there is any free food going, don't be shy!

The trendy guests dressed mostly in the de rigeur cool NY black attirewere so busy shmoozing and boozing they did not seem to notice the magnificent art around them. The host, an Italien hipster, was serving up gallons of penne pasta with a delicious homemade tomato sauce. It was a Woody Allen New York moment.

Breath taking wall of Keith Haring pictures, your SP was drooling.

Sasha and Captain Dave were among the hip guests.

Real Keith Haring pictures, everywhere. It made the SP pad look a little shabby.

The following night I was in a Soho loft at a gallery owners post preview dinner. His art collection was first class.

I had to stop eating for the two minutes it took to take this photo, it was tough as other people were eating all the good stuff!

No matter where you are in the world the Jewish appetite is consistently in full force.

In case you were worried that all New Yorkers were going hungry do not fear, at the Dror Hadad dinner, nosh was bountiful. You can not beat a New York Smorgisbord. How much can you scoff before the bell rings for the dinner and speaches part of the night, as you can see the heat is on!

Why not take a trip up the cotton wool mountain, one can canoe over the snow filled peaks or pelt a wee chicky snowman or sit in one's chalet admiring the frosty tree tops.

As the holiday season and our global meltdown, yes we really are in a recession, kicks in in earnst, New Yorkers everywhere are wondering how secure are their jobs and if a few raisens and tangerines might suffice as a holiday gift.

Poor old Woolies "Woolworths" went under in the UK, Circuit City and numerous other well known retail chains are in trouble here, over the pond, thus the retailers battle for holiday shoppers attention and loyalty.

Looking at this snow filled miniature castle filled with tiny teddies and figurines, one can see where the retailers are going with this, bite sized small gifts are the way to go.

"Right lads, time up. My turn."

"There is not an age restriction on the choo choo. Offsky, that looks fun."

Ok so there was 533,000 lost jobs this month in the US but at least this train is still working. The auto industry is in trouble so if I were you I would be investigating all alternative modes of transport, like these three smart cookies, starting right here!

Happy holidays, enjoy the festivities. Stay warm and go shopping.

Who says I am too old to sit in Santa's knee, he certainly was not complaining.

"Ok Santa, what you got for me, anything Chanel, Prada or Gucci works, anything else not so much."

"Frosty the snowman says ease off the raw brownies", says Santa, humphing and puffing under my weight.

Being part of the yummy Love Tribe makes it not so bad being back in New York after all, in fact it is quite good, in fact it is brillaint.

Introducing the man who makes the best music in NYC , DJ and actor John O'Conner.

Happy Birthday Tatiana, looking stunning and elegant as always. Glad you like your fairy ears!

The gals enjoy a catch up, Claudinsky is always a treat.