That Bloomberg has put everyone to work clearing the snow including the five year olds

In the first snowfall Mayor B got a bad rap as there was no garbage collection for more than a week. All the New Yorkers were up in arms ready to sue ( any old reason will do), so now Mayor B is over compensating with child labor.

Look at this poor wee lambkins. Her wee armsies must be killing her. Where are the parents one wonders? The SP would never allow such a travesty of justice in the SPdom. No way!

She is smiling as I told her she will be in the SP blog with readers all the way from
Mumbai , India and I don't mean the corner restaurant on 6th Street and 1st Avenue.

"Aye, wee lassie, keep clearing there is huge piles of the snow everywhere. Chop ! Chop, m'lass."

It was pouring with rain never mind the ice cold water

Then the camera men who were all wrapped up in wooly everythings, had the cheek to yell "SP, it doesn't count unless you dunk your head in the water! Go on!"

Huh, they must be mad thinking I will ruin a perfectly good blow dry for their silly rules. I ran to the Sag Harbor gym in my bare feet in the pouring rain to the hot showers. All the polar bears were frozen to the bone.

The SP did the Polar Bear plunge in the harbor

I am no Woose! We Scots are not namby pambys ( softies).

Ice maiden from Ye Olden Days

In Sag Harbor Harborfrost Festival there was ice sculptures providing more good photo opportunities

The wild turkeys were starving and freezing

A kind soul had dropped some seeds for them, thank goodness.

Linda did a wee jig on the snow

Anything to keep warm.

Where did the snow end and the water start?

It was hard to tell.

The Elizabeth Morton nature reserve was knee deep in snow also

The normally packed nature reserve was deadly quiet with only two diehard hikers, Linda and moi.

Found you!

My favorite girlfriend and I played hide and seek in the woods

No one else was out, we had the trail to ourselves.

Trout Pond was also covered with snow

It is not fair, when will swimming season start?

Say what you like snow beaches do make good photo scenes

I am very pleased with this artistic shot which I am sending to National Geographic and the local Hamptons Rag, Dan's Paper, with the hope of fame, it is not just the Skellys that want fame.

One man stood alone staring at the sea

There was a nip in the air, or more aptly a bitter wind, which kept beach strolls to a few minute bursts then race back to the car.

I tried jumping up and down and clapping my hands to keep warm

The sea was the only thing not covered with snow.

Juicy Couture moon boots and white sheepskin hats from the 70's are the new beachwear items

Luckily we still needed our sunglasses. As you can see the sand at the ocean was all covered with snow.

All the beaches were covered in snow

This certainly makes sunbathing challenging and flip flops not necessary.

As if the Skelly and Ghoul revolution wasn't enough, we have all had snow overdose this winter

From the Records it appears that this has been the snowiest winter in the last ten thousand years or something like that.
In the Hamptons the snow at least is fun, you can go hiking and take artistic photos like this sunrise shot over Long Beach, Sag Harbor.

Harlem Forever

This lady recounted the highlights of the concert whilst her long suffering partner waited patiently.

After the show love was still in the air in Harlem

Valentines Day spares no one. It has aptly been renamed "Singles Awareness Day." Or "Smug Couples can be even more smug day."

The band all wore white suits, it was so 70's!

When the ushers saw me taking sneaky photos, they tried to wrestle the IPhone out my hands. Fat chance!

Inside the Apollo Theater

I fulfilled a dream to see a Motown great at the Apollo.

Smoky Robinson sounded better than ever

He did 2 costume changes. I loved his glittery belt and glittery shoes and fishnet top and black leather pants. When he danced it was the closest thing I have seen to sex in months. I wanted to jump down and dance with him but the ushers restrained me.

Poster of famous black performers adorned the wall

Smoky Robinson told great stories of his old Motown days.

The lobby of the Apollo had wonderful chandeliers

They were a tad shabby next to the ones in my palace but old style glamor was oozing as soon as you walked through the doors.

The SP made the adventurous trip to Harlem to see the legendary Smoky Robinson at the Apollo Theater

Actually the subway drops you a minute's walk away! No need to be scared at all.

7pm Valentines Day - the last minute New Yorkers line up at Sunny Flowers

They know they dare not go home without a stunning bouquet or they will be in serious trouble all year. This line of guys made me laugh.

Did the SP get any roses? Actually she did and they still look lovely! ( Phew!, I held my own this year.)

Happy Valentines Day LLS from your Scottish Princess

In the final room, the piece de resistance , a stuffed wolf, all entangled in purple paint and purple string,possible purple floss.

"Wolfey, what in the dickens happened to you, you look like someone has been playing cats cradle over your body and then just walked away leaving you in a total mess, I am so sorry. Was it those ghouls ? "

"SP, those rotten ghouls thought I was a warewolf so they kidnapped me thinking I would protect them if the revolution goes wrong, but I am just a regular wolf who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was digging a hole looking for some food for Itsy and Bitsy,my wee darling cubikins and one of them ghouls sneaked up on me with a net and bang, they got me. I want to go back to my cubs I am a pacifist myself, I would be hopeless in a revolution, I am a Netflix type of wolf really,I am all about cuddling up with a good flick, like Dances with Wolves with Kevin Kosner for example.

One of the ghouls threw all this paint over me and string so that I would fit in with the floss theme of the show. My missus will kill me , I will never get the purple paint off my fur. Can you try and get it off, do you have any nail polish remover by any chance? This paint and string is really itchy and I think I am allergic to the chemicals in the paint as my fur is burning. My old pal the moose is in the other room, the pair of us are planning a Shawshank redemption ( another fav of me and the missus) getaway. We communicate through animal sounds when the gallery is closed which infuriates the ghouls who hate to be left out of anything, but we are both desperate. Despite the rave reviews of the show which we have enjoyed both of us have lives to go back to. Can you help us? Now that the revolution worked in Egypt and Mubarak went scuba diving and snorkeling in Sharm el Shek, the Ghouls and Skellys are all fired up, thinking it is their turn next as you have to admit the press seems to love a good revolution. Those skallywags all want fame and if the Egyptians can do it, they think they can do it too, crazy I know, but you try telling them that. Please SP help Moose and I escape, Itsy and Bitsy will love you forever!"

What between all these exhibits who need my help, like yesterday, how am I supposed to sort my own life out and go on a date, if anyone ever asks or do a yoga class or get the latest must have Spring item for my wardrobe , but how can you ignore all these cries of distress? What to do! I can't rescue everybody all the time just because I am a princess. I am not a superhero I am a princess with different responsibilities, like looking sexy for my prince if he ever shows up. Still I have a heart and I feel for the Wolf and Moose, the Ghouls not so sure. They can stew in their own juice, did you hear the ghoul say his diet is toasted humans, eeeewwwww.

Ghoul with Red Dental Floss

Another piece caught my eye. It looked like an advert for dental floss to me. In fact it looked like this ghoul could do with a trip
to the dentist, sooner rather than later, especially as they seem to fancy themselves as sexpots.

I mean, which nice lassie would want to do a Frenchie with those gnashers? You would get into an awful muddle with the red floss in the way and those jagged teeth sticking out here and there, smooching the ghoul was an easy health hazard.

He certainly had a huge gaping mouth, all the better for making ghoulish yelps no doubt.

"Hey Ghoul, is that dental floss you got all over your teeth or are you trying to catch flies, or is it a cats cradle game? How are you supposed to eat your tea or pieces and jam with all that red string in the way? Do ghouls eat actually and if so what do they eat?"

"SP, of course we eat but being ghouls we have a restricted diet, human flesh rare or toasted and rats legs, bees wings, that type of thing. And yes, this is my dental floss, we ghouls are short sighted, as we mostly are awake at night time when it is dark and you don't need to see so well, so I get a red brand easier to see. I was actually flossing before I was framed as I wanted to make sure there was no rat leg parts on my teeth before I was sealed up as I of course want to look my best for the show, when that dopey framer slammed the frame on me as he is in such a hurry being so behind and all and when I yelped," Hey Jimmy, I am not ready yet, what about the floss, you champion dopo", he simply looked at the frame, shook his head as if to say , ah well , no one will ever know it looks like the floss is part of the portrait and heartlessly chucked me on the finished picture file and so you have it. All my ghoul pals are laughing at me non stop, I am so bummed. Can you help me, just get the glass off so I can throw the dirty rat leg floss away. Oh please, it is so uncomfortable."

As if I didn't have enough to do and now this. It is a shame for the ghoul, but how can I help? I have a bad rap in the gallery scene after the porridge chair episode, if the gallery owner spots me trying to pull the glass off the frame of those two pieces, I will really be in trouble. It must be his bad karma got him into this, eating all those poor rats and bee parts. I didn't like to rub it in by saying if he was vegetarian his teeth would not need so much flossing, so I was schtum.

But being a princess, I nodded politely and sympathetically at the Ghoul's floss tale hoping that would comfort him a wee bitty and moved on to the next art piece. But when I looked back a wee tear dropped on his grey cheek, I must have been his only hope, poor lamb.

Well no surprise, the Skellys had muscled in on the Ghouls show

Knowing them, probably were trying to steal the limelight.
Look at this, a semi normal picture of a regular looking guy and the Skelly has just gone and plumped himself on top of the picture, with no rhyme or reason at all. I studied it a bit longer, was the man wearing a Skelly design on his sweatshirt? Those Skellys will soon try and sneak into the fashion world, and maybe this was their first stab at it. But no, they are not that smart or subtle, no this one looks like he sort of sneaked on top of the picture, imposed himself a second before the frame was sealed shot. The poor innocent guy in was stuck with a skelly floating over him for ever.

"Hey, you, with the black top on, can you explain why a black skeleton's face is hovering, floating in space on top of your body? I mean, I don't like to be rude but it does look a bit odd, sorry to say? Was this what the artist intended? It is a funny kind of a ghoul show so I wouldn't be surprised. I hope you don't mind me asking. I like the picture, sort of."

"SP, you don't miss a trick. I was supposed to be the normal portrait of a regular guy, and we were at the framers and it was my turn to be framed, and the framer was a bit overwhelmed with so many pieces to do, and he had a deadline and when it was my turn, one of the Skellys jumped out from behind the table and shouted, "Hey Jimmy, ( the Skellys like to pretend they are from Glasgow to get a dig in at me), what is that big black splodge on the Scream Ghoul picture it looks awful?"

Well Jimmy the framer looked up
at the picture and this sly Skelly jumped on top of me in a flash and shouted, "HAR, HAR!" as they do, and then the framer scratching his nose , as there was no black splodge on Scream at all, sealed the frame shut. When he looked at the picture and saw the black skelly on top of it, he was very confused, but given the bizarre nature of this show and his own time pressures, he shrugged and said, "Ach, no one will notice,it looks like it was supposed to be like this," and then he moved me on to the finished pile and that was that and there you have it. Now I am stuck together with this hideous black skelly for all eternity. Oh woe is me, help me SP. He smells of dead rats and moldy leaves, he burps, he cackles, he fidgets, he itches, he drives me nuts. Get him off me, the scoundrel!"

Wow, poor thing. I felt so bad for him. Those Skellys will do anything to get into the limelight."

Ghoul NYC mixed media. This one was a bit better.

I quite liked all the bits assembled together in a collage.

The Scream 2 . Ghoul NYC.

Yes, the Ghouls had done their art homework and done a copy of the Munch piece in blood red, their favorite color. First they copied Andy Warhol, now Munch, can no one do anything original anymore ?

There was ghouls everywhere on the walls

One had red eyes , both, and red mouth. I can see they were all experimenting with the red eye look with subtle variations, at least they were trying.

"Self Portrait with crazy eyes, Ghoul."

It seems like the Ghouls wanted in on the art scene too. This mixed medium piece was quite good, the ghoul had probably created a decent likeness, but would you pay money for this piece and have it on your fireplace? There was no red stickers I noted.

"Hey, Ghoulie, did you brush your teeth this morning? Looks like you had one too many last night, judging from that bleary red eye, blue thing you got going on, or maybe this how Ghouls do colored contact lenses, a big craze here 20 years ago , I know you Ghouls take some time catching up on our Human Fashion Fads. You look like my ex boyfriend,on a good day. Anyone try to buy you yet!! Har, Har!"

( I did the Skelly laugh to indicate I know their language.)

He stared back at me blankly.

"Nufink wrong wiv me teeth. I floss every night. Who you looking at anyway Preencess? Leave it out. I like being an art piece,at least someone might notice me now and want to make a movie of me. Night of the living dead art piece, it might be called. Grrr, go away leave us alone. I was napping, wasn't I?"

In a tiny gallery on 24th Street, one of the lesser traipsed lower profile Chelsea gallery streets way at the back was a suspiciously ghoulish art exhibit Che

Whoever had curated this show had simply hotch potched everything together and thrown the art work up on the wall with no rhyme or reason to it at all.

The moose on the wall was splattered with paint and had some paint rags hanging off his antlers.

"Hey, Moosey,what happened to you, what is all that paint crap stuck to your antlers, you look like you lost a fight with a petulant five year old."

"No, SP, way worse, those dreaded Skellys found me in a haunted mansion upstate, took me off the wall where I had been quietly living minding my own business for a good hundred years, and said,Moosey, you are coming to Chelsea with us now. As people love looking at stuffed dead trophy animals on the wall, they will love looking at you and therefore will probably love our latest art show entitled, Skellys hit Chelsea, long live Chelsea, Soho is dead, as you are in it ! Har! Har! Smile for the iPhone !

Woe is me. Check all the art pieces of the ghouls around me, it is embarrassing to be up here . I wanna go home...", he cried.

Old Moosey was far from thrilled, poor wee lamb, I mean moose.

At the back of my mind, I had a sneaky feeling that those Skellys were doing some more cultural infiltration so I decided to go to Chelsea for a "Reccy" ( Glaswegian for reconnaissance / check out)

It didn't take very long for me to see that those Skellys were up to no good again.

To make matters worse for the first time ever in 100 years it was a 2 page New Yorker cover

On the second page, one of the lovely, sweet boys had reached up and given Mr Atlas his red wooly scarf and wee bunnet ( that is Glaswegian for hat) to keep him warm after he got cold from finishing his globe push up exercises. Gosh, they really bonded obviously.

I didn't even think of giving Mr Atlas my scarf, just shows you that the lessons are there if you stop for a minute to consider them, all these dollars for the homeless that I give out are diddly squat compared to giving up your scarf on a cold night for an old statue , even if it is the
most famous one in the Big Apple.

Well, those two boys are good, they are obviously destined for great things and The New Yorker picked up on that, what a smart magazine it is.

The next morning I jumped out of bed, it was the best day of the week, The New Yorker day

I ran downstairs to fetch the magazine and I could not believe the cover.

Wow! There was the little boy from last night talking to Mr Atlas
and the snow was falling gently round them both.

Gosh, it seems everyone was talking about the boys, Mr Atlas, the Skellys, Jemima and Humph and the impending Skelly Revolution and golly gee my favorite mag, had picked up on it. I looked hard at the cover trying to find me, but it was just Mr Atlas and one of the lads.

Well I consoled myself with the thought that I NEARLY made the cover of The New Yorker over my boiled egg and lumpy porridge that morning.

"Well, go on then, clever clogs, spill the beans? Is there a young man today that can impress Mr Wisdom who has seen it all?", I asked Atlas.

"It is Harry Potter, you dopey lot, he has been saving the world single handedly for years in all his many adventures. Wizzy and I watch all his movies on our iPads when all the tourists are asleep in the early, early morn, we love him. If Harry can do it then these two lads should get their chance to try their hand too, perhaps they could even star in the next movie, Harry Potter and the Sleazy Skellys. It is bound to be the best one yet."

Well these brave boys should be very excited now they will be movie stars before they know it! One good deed deserves another I always say. I turned round to congratulate the boys and give them the gallery address where all the action would be, but they had gone.

No wonder, it was past 11pm, those boys must have left with their mother.

The Toy Soldiers, Atlas, Mr Wisdom, all were frozen still, the skaters were thinning out, just a few stragglers and now that bitter, relentless New York wind had really picked up.

I pulled my blue sheepskin collar tighter round my neck and despondently left the scene and all my new friends to trudge home alone, what's new.

Who, who, who?

The skaters all rushed up towards the giant tree, which is right next to Mr Wisdom's wall mural. They demanded, needed, insisted on knowing who the young hero was Mr Wisdom seemed so impressed with.

All the skaters stopped what they were doing and turned to look up at Mr Wisdom

Who, who is it? Tell us now!

Lads, lads, aren't you forgetting someone very important from this generation? Asked Mr Wisdom the giant mural over the door

Who? who? Mr Wisdom, who is the hero of the 21st century?

We young lads can save the day!

Who knocked down Goliath with only a simple stone and a sling?
Yes, our very own Sammy Samson, and he was only 9 when he did it.

What about Joseph and his coat of technicolor and his amazing dreams of 7 good years and 7 bad years?

All the Toy Soldiers are in and we have drums and guns and weapons, piped up the second soldier proudly.

Excuse me butting in on your workout,Mr Atlas,but can I say something here?

All of a sudden all the Toy Soldiers that were guarding the skating rink, were getting very excited.

Mr. Atlas, the guards are coming from inside Rock Center to see what all the ruckus is about

Look those lovely, sweet boys have offered to join us in the Fight against the Undead. If you could just stop the world push ups for a second, this is important. They are only 11 and 9, but they realize the importance of this here mission and the opportunity it offers the boys to look cool and exciting on Facebook. Will you allow them to join us? "

"Move the world to the right"

He hoisted it up on his right side.

A few people clapped, which seemed to only encourage him more.
(Ah, the male ego, never misses a chance to show off.)

Suddenly on cue,Mr Atlas started lifting his world up and down over his shoulders , I must say his breathing control was perfect, he would make a good yogi.

"And, hup, one" he breathed in his strong arms flexing.

"Hup, two." He breathed out and hoisted his world high, with an audible sigh, winking at me and smiling at the small crowd that gathered around to watch the spectacle. One little girl started crying, but the crowd hushed her.

"I will show the Skellys who is boss in this town, and ah Hup"

Mr Atlas, listen up, I have good news.

"Princess, I am getting my photo taken with those two nicely behaved boys. Can this wait ? Yes, I do work out every day mam. No, not at Equinox or NY Sports, no I do my own routine right here at my post. The world makes a great weight. I lift it up and down 50 times first thing in the morning, really gives the heart a good pump.

SP,I am busy with this nice family, don't you ever let up?".



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We heard about the Skelly Revolution, my brother and I are ready to sign up, we want to help.

Two lovely young lads who were standing at the base of Mr Atlas, not defacing him in any way, suddenly waved me down.

Wow, all of a sudden things were looking up.

"Can we skip school and stay up all night to protect Jemima and the other art pieces. That would make such a cool Facebook status update, all our classmates would be jealous! I do karate and my brother is a yellow belt in Judo!"

"Well we do need all the help we can get to beat those dastardly Skellys, do you think your friends would help too?"I asked the boys, "Let me ask Mr Atlas what he thinks about bringing the age range down a bit."