Shelter Island is full of speed boats, each one sleeker that the next. Many probably contain vacationers that go swimming and drop their rings in the water, I thought to myself.

"Wow, this is quite a fast boat Captain Jim, we are leaving the sailboats behind. Can you go a bit faster please though." I asked him nicely.

I was getting very exhilarated being out on the open sea, feeling I was leaving all my problems and worries back at the shore.

Debbie was steeling herself before she took the helm.

"I'm ready for anything, Captain Jim." She smiled.

This past weekend my girlfriend Linda and I went sailing on Shelter Island. Here we are excited about the waves and the sunshine and the feeling of the wind rushing through our fingers.

I was walking along the beach and I saw a man brandishing a giant magic wand that listens to the waves.

"What are you doing, making an evil sound to chase away jelly fish, can I swim next to you so I won't get stung?" I asked the man in the red hat.

"Sure but this device won't stop you getting stung, SP, it is for making me rich!"

" It is, how does it do that?" I asked him.

"It finds me diamonds and gold rings that foolish gals like you drop in the sand when you go swimming or toss away when you fall out with your fancymen? How do you think I can afford to live here? See my white basket it is full of gems, take a look."

Sure enough it was a Hamptons treasure chest! Now I am going to swim with extra strong goggles so I too can buy a big house with real walls out here at the beach.

"Sure is SP, now shake it out baby, twist and shout!"

Enjoy your summer, folks! Watch out for the jellyfish!

"Wuff Wuff welcome to the Hamptons,SP, don't forget you are supposed to blogging about us, the Dog Community. There has been a complaint not one doggy photo in this whole post, your doggy fans are most upset."

"This picture of you will have to do for now, so tell your doggy chums to keep their fur on and there will lots of cool stuff about them coming up soon."

I can never keep everyone and everything happy, it is so hard being me sometimes.

"Wuff who are you calling a thing, I am a Hamptons residence, see my gold designer collar if you need proof of address," barked my loyal doggie fan, obviously quite put out.

As I was saying it is going to be a great summer.

"Welcome to Sag Harbor,SP, did you get your local residence $25 beach pass yet for the car, another must have for the season, don't delay it is essential for out here!" a very sweet wee local lassie asked as we rushed past her, afraid of missing our dinner reservation.

Gosh, even the kids know it all. I guess I have a lot to learn.

It is going to be a great summer, recession or no recession, someone has to prop up the American economy and kick start consumer spending again, it might as well be me!

"Aren't you guys worried about gas prices, look at the size of that thing you are driving?" I asked them. Americans always go in for the bigger is better philosophy especially when it comes to cars.

"Don't be silly, this is only our beach car for tooling around, hop in Princess."

"Is it a hybrid at least I thought they were all the rage out here?" I asked.

"Enough with your questions already we have a reservation in town to make, if you snooze you loose."

With that logic it didn't leave much room for arguing so I hopped in, super excited that I was making lots of great new friends and I was the proud homeowner of not one but two Bijoux Bridgehampton residences,one with a guest house, noch, already!

"Hey SP, we hear you finally got a place at the beach, great news, need a ride anywhere? We are heading into Sag Harbor for a quick bite at that new Indian Zen place, care to join us?"

"Here you go Miss SP, it may look like a jail and a bit sparse but I promise you will be very comfortable here, this structure usually goes for for $5 million dollars but the BHampton S and T Club said they will donate it to you for free! You should grab it before they change their minds."

"But what about my new guest wing, the moat, the sweeping stairs, the dressing rooms and ensuite bidets," I sobbed.

"Look it has sea views, what do you expect for $5 million?" he said not impressed that I was so ungrateful."

"Where's my key? I asked.

"You don't need a key everyone leaves their houses unlocked here, you dope, don't you know that by now?"

So I have a few beach houses now, I shouldn't complain I know. It's just not what I had in mind but it is a start. Now I can really work on enjoying the summer. All you loyal readers, please come and visit, but bring a scarf as it does get a bit drafty at night, as all Scottish castles do!

"Come back Princess, we are working on your guest house now, good beach houses always need a guest house, you must know that, where are all the McCousins going to stay when they come visiting? Our dads are famous builders out here, we know what's what."

They had a good point with house prices falling every day now is the right time to grow and expand your Hamptons footprint while the Wall Street bankers are busy nursing their wounds.

"Lads, you will be both be knighted for your services, just make sure all the guest bedrooms have sea views, private dressing rooms and bidets!Now you get back to work whilst this handsome man escorts me somewhere, who knows where, I will be back soon, don't forget lots of sunscreen factor 40 so you don't get burnt as I need you fit and healthy."

"You! still causing a menace around here I see, and still no wristband, follow me, I am afraid I have to
escort you from these premises.I don't care that you are a proud BHampton home owner now. You can go and sit in the dunes way over there'', he said pointing to a remote spot miles away, "that is not private members only property."

He looked kind of serious but his eyes had a warm and friendly glint to them that was quite alluring, when he took my hand and smiled at me, I felt ready to be led anywhere by him!

"Lead on, loyal subject," I smiled with my most sweet and loving SP smile, "where should I be by order of the BHampton T and S Club?"

Summer is smooching season, I tried to wake them up to show them my royal Sandcastle Bridgehampton residence, but they did not seem to want to budge. Charming!

Half an hour of hard labor with the two lovely young lads and my new beach house was all ready. A moat, turrets, an imposing grand entrance, many steps where I could make a grand entrance with my fabulous gowns, secret tunnels for fast get aways from my enemies. It was perfect! When can I move in guys?

"SP, some of us are trying to have some r and r on our day off, we are all wiped, can you imagine what we Wall Street bankers are going through each day, fear of lay offs, our banks losing several billion each quarter, no more bonuses unless you work for Goldman which nobody does from this crew, please if you must build a home keep the drilling and sawing down to a minimum."

Drilling and sawing, what kind of beach Scottish sandcastle residence did they imagine the boys and I were building?

"Go back to your dreams, chaps, my house project is very simple and environmentally friendly and will not disturb anyone's dreams, have no fear. Snooze away!"

Fancy a dip SP, the water is mighty refreshing! Why not take a break from house building and come swimming we all know you love swimming, watch out though you might get your royal hair wet as it is choppy out there."

I was almost tempted till he pointed out very wisely there were serious risks involved.

"Get to work," they commanded, "pick a tool, we can build your own place right here on the sand, prime location and for free. Plus you won't have any snotty neighbors, just a few gulls."

"Hey SP, stop house hunting! Make yourself uesful and come help us build a sandcastle, maybe we can entice your Sandman to come back to you."

It was the best invitation I had received all day. Plus who could resist such sweet friendly lads.

This looks a little wee and pokey compared to Wee Mumsie and Big McDaddy's Scottish castle at home, but probably better weather here. I wonder if anyone is home.

Although I tried to shout a royal greeting through the fence I did not get very far as a large dog barked at me and scared me away.