"Don't forget your shoes, folks."

"I think you need to keep looking," he said.

We sat on the fence and watched the sun set over the corn fields, which seemed to stretch for miles. The light was soft and tranquil and the air was still.

"Come on SP leave these kids alone to have some fun, can you show me your new beach residence, I hear it is a real design masterpiece."

My Bridgehampton S and T club friend Mr Reid, took me by the hand and we went off to take a look at my new guest house.

I stared at a bike leaning against the hedge. Big Daddykins has always believed in bike riding, maybe I should try it too. The bike said Hamptons in yellow tape and something about it made perfect sense.

OK so I am not so good at balancing but I can learn. It didn't even have a lock as it is an unwritten Hamptons rule that you never lock anything here.

"You see all these rules, we ignore them as they do not apply to us on our bikes." they said quite smugly,"we can't imagine why anyone would want to drive a car on the beach but some twits do."

"Also SP the most environmentally friendly way to get to the beach is by bike, just copy us we know the ropes round here. A bike can never be towed or fined and it doesnt even need a sticker, it is the smart way to get around the Hamptons. Plus it keeps you fit."

Boy the kids round here are super smart.

"There's plenty of room SP why the hesitation, let's try it out for real,"they smiled.

"SP we love it we just arrived from Greenwich Connecticut and we would love to spend a night in your humble twig residence tonight, can we be your first guests, we have our own towels, one thing less for you to worry about."

"You see this white stone, SP, it is magic and it glows in the dark. You can use it to light up your twig guest house when it gets dark, now do I win any prizes?" He asked holding up a precious white beach stone.

Yes, I thought the goofball prize.

He took a large swig of his beer without waiting for my answer.

"What a smart young thing," said a local beachcomber. "Fancy a beer to celebrate your new atchitectural statement bijoux Hamptons residence?"

"Here are the steps that lead you to the property, they are lying flat instead of standing up, a new design concept. The missing rung is to remind you that you are not yet complete until you save the world and help everyone find love which is the SP mission," she gestured to the sand.

This young lassie sure knows a lot, although I am not sure if I could live there for anything longer than five minutes.

"Here's your guest house," she smiled. "Views of the sea, everything you need. It is my Hamptons interpretation of Stonehenge in recessionary America."

Giacometti's matchbox figures, would surely have felt at home in her structure of twigs, but for my guests it was a little sparse.

"I will definately think about it, thanks for thinking about me and all my needs, can I get back to you?"

I was amazed about how thoughtful everyone is here, this little girl had thought about everything and should surely win the prize.

" Here's your guard dog, he will keep you safe. he also is a big fan of the doggy sections of the blog," she said kindly pointing to a fierce looking dog.

"Gosh," I said ,"you think of everything, how can I thank you?"

" I love it , my own place at last, admittedly it is a bit small but that will force me to cut down on my shopping which will be a good thing for me but not so good for the economy. When do I move in?"

"I just want to make sure it is water tight,"she said with a sincere concern in her voice. " I can't allow the SP to freeze at night."

"But where do I hang my paintings, what about the bidets and guest bathrooms with monogrammed bathrobes, eh?" I asked although I am always loathe to look a gift horse in the mouth, this structure may fetch millions one day.

"It is an a Frame type shape with special wind ventilation, you shelter under the planks of wood, what do you think SP, do I win?"

"My parents think I should be an architect as I am always building things. They heard there is a competition to find you a fabulous new bijoux home anywhere on the beach, I fancy my chances."

"SP follow me. I am building you a new house over there so you can live next to me and give me fashion and boy tips when I grow up", she smiled with a toothless grin.

Yesterday on Gibson Beach I met a lovely family.

"SP, we hear you are having some accommodation problems, is that so?" asked the mum in the white hat. My daughter has some ideas for you,"

The after party was in the artist's home. His outhouse was an Arabian white tented dome. I liked the cabana like feel and enquired if it was for sale, despite the fact there was no walls suitable for hanging pictures.

Linda and I considered buying a piece but with my lack of walls we both realized it was too impractical and we should stick to buying dresses instead as they are easier to store.

As per usual, the gallery was packed with "art lovers" not looking at the art.

"Welcome SP" said the gallery owner, "as you can see all these art works are for sale and they would look great in your new beach house."

"But mam, my new beach house is made of sticks, there are no walls."

Saturday night I had an art opeing in South Hampton to get to and I was running late.

"Need a ride, hop in?" asked my two year old neighbor, " I will get you there in no time."