"Cheese, say 99%", said Matt, my blog photographer to the new Muppet Support Team

"Hey Princess, you are cool and quite sexy too! Thanks for caring about us Muppets, means a lot. Want to come occupy my tent later tonight and we can have a little Muppet Cha Cha Cha!
You can help me rehearse my speech for tomorrow's workshop, Making New York More Muppet Friendly. It has 40 Occupiers enrolled already and as you a vegetarian you may have some ideas how we can ban Frog's legs from the New York menus once and for all. What do ya say, Princepessa, Honeybun? " he winked at me most suggestively for a Muppet I thought.

Well I was of course free that night and had no Match, Ok Stupid or JDates lined up. I do prefer tall guys normally but one had to admit Morris sure had some pizzazz. His patter was better than most too, I wondered if the coach gave Muppets a discount as well as the Under 5's. Would he be a good kisser? He certainly did have big lips, could be promising, and had to be more exciting than Netflicks again.

"Let me get back to you Morris, but right now I have to get back to work." We exchanged Facebook coordinates, smiles and I got another flirty wink.

Well at least I can be the first of my friends to date a Muppet and maybe even score a free ticket to the movie. Things were looking up in my world at last, I knew my support of OWS would lead to something romantic, but a Muppet, ah well life is full of surprises.

Was he Jewish? What would Wee Mumsy say? At least he was a working muppet and had a good role in the movie. Was he commitment phobic? Was he a player, a jerk, or a mensch?

As usual my mind started racing but I hoped back on the 6 train with a smile on my face.

I see you met Morris the Muppet, said an older black guy who beckoned me over.

He in fact is one of the most vocal Occupiers here at "Liberty Park" and he has certainly put Muppet issues on the map, who knew the Muppets were suffering so much!

Under paid, unemployment at 99%, the Muppet Movie is a start but we need the sequel , the reality show, the radio program, the Iphone App to get Muppets back to the popularity they once had.

And then, the sad thing that no one really knows about,is that their precious little body parts are being eaten at restaurants, it is disgusting! Poor Kermit and all his cousins are in hiding most of the time, in case any of these pompous French New York chefs nab them for their tasty legs, it is just not safe to be a Muppet anymore.

When I came here I wanted to protest about racial discrimination at the work place but meeting Morris here showed me I got it pretty good. So now I am helping Morris and the Muppet Community get their voice heard. Did you read Page 36 and 37 of the OWS declaration, all the Muppet issues are clearly defined."

He pointed to the Declaration.

"Yes, I read it," I lied, "pretty shocking actually. Now that I am writing about it in this here world famous blog, everyone will know and we can spread the Muppet message together, plus all the free movie publicity. In fact, Morris do you mind posing for a picture, love the OWS peace sign top, so it and you got today's must have revolutionary look down to a tee! Groovy."

Hey Princess don't forget me and the Muppets! We feel sore too about a lot!

The muppet was holding the OWS Declaration. Believe it or not there was a Muppet chapter at the back.
What do you have to say, Mr Muppet?
Surely life is cushy being a muppet?

"Are you kidding, we work like slaves on our TV Show and now we are promoting our movie, which is the funniest movie ever made if we could get people to go see it. No one respects muppets anymore they want Gameboys and IPads instead! Bring back the Muppets! We are the answer!

Reduce working hours for Muppets!
All people over 3 years old are to go to the new Muppet movie at least twice and bring their friends!
Miss Piggy for President!
Down with Frogs Legs in restaurants!
99% of Muppets are unemployed , make more Muppet movies !

He was very focal , another one. The Muppets were in on it too. The only segment not protesting as far as I could see were the plants.

Was there any person, being , baby or animal that had not turned into an Occupier?

Dogs, babies, it seemed all were welcome and taking a role and making a stand. Making themselves heard!
Plus they all had wish lists! Santa are you listening ?
You could drop all your baby paraphernalia you did not need right there in the box and know it was going to a worthy cause.

Free baby food for all! Free child care support for working mums! Cartoons 24 / 7 on all channels!

Leave sugar in baby food so it tastes nice!
Cut Nursery school hours to 2 a day and the rest playtime !
Free milk for all regardless of class or color!

Out of nowhere the baby started spouting off with all her own issues. She was pretty articulate too. Her OWS for Dummies looked quite well thumbed.

Well now I was feeling very inadequate beside this Smartie Pants Toddler, I must have a word with that coach. We had better double my sessions, I was falling miles behind, everyone !

Just sitting near the drummers was an OWS fully fledged family, complete with revolutionary baby avec peace signd

Yes it seems the movement had spread and they were getting them young. The baby looked happy but was not yet spouting any revolutionary gems.

"Did you take her to the Non Violent Communication Empathy Loving Coach, I hear he does half price for the under 5's. I highly recommend him, my dating witty one liners have definitely improved although the coach says my political gems are more like mushy peas and not quite biting enough."

I popped $5 into the baby nappy collection box. How will she go back to the calm of ordinary life once this excitement is all over , sometimes it is not good to expose them to too much too soon.

The parents seemed quite happy and told me not to worry as she was the youngest member the powers that be were cutting her some slack. But they assured me she already had a hectic workshop schedule and had signed up for Marx and Trotsky for Beginners and she was already at the third chapter of Occupy Wall Street for Dummies.

Ah, the future generation are so with it, they don't miss a beat. In my day it was Black Beauty and Enid Blyton, I always wished I was a famous four member. Now the youth have bigger fish to try, fighting the battles for the 99%. My only wish is that she peppers her speeches with a few jokes as the general call and response diatribes out here are very dry and could put one swiftly to sleep.

Errr , excuse me Sir, Mr 1%, hellooooo!!!

He ignored me, but as he had turned into stone , I tried not to take it personally. He was not communicating with anyone at all not the police, not the Occupiers , not the tourists or bystanders or gawkers. He was totally fixated with the contexts of his case, forever it seemed. I wondered how the police would move him out as he looked kind of heavy.

In all the Mayhem of "Liberty Park" he was the one silent voice, a banker, a worker bee, a cog in the wheel, a bona fida member of the Rat Race.

Would he ever make it to that important meeting, get on that global conference call, answer to the board?

Who knows. I had my own theory as to his fate.

Methinks he was an early pizza eater and one of the first to get the NSA poisoning, sad as it wasn't meant for him at all. That what happens when you leave boxes of poisoned pizza around willy nilly, they don't always get the right target. A bit like a drone plane I guess.

I was getting nada from him so putting my hand on his stony shoulder I wished him well and hopped along.

Amidst all the organized chaos, tents, and crowds of 99 % was one lone banker

He was sitting going through his briefcase as if nothing was unusual at all. The strange thing was that he had turned quite, quite into stone and did not look well in the slightest.

I had not heard that Medusa was in the crowd , and if she was how odd that only one person got hit and yes that was the 1% chap. Do you think he had eaten something that did not agree with him? I ventured over with the hope of finding out more.

You talking to me missus? This is my solo! Find another spot to schmooze, this park is big enough for both of us.

I guess he had a point. I exchanged Gmails with We're Unclear and moved on. A smile on my face.

The Drummers drummed on relentlessly.

How was I supposed to have a private tete a tete with We're Unclear with all this racket going on?

I like your sign, can I hold it too?

Next minute I was doing my new favorite thing, sharing a sign with a handsome, witty, hopefully single bloke. Things were looking up, who needs workshops?
I tried to look serious and 99% angry like, but I was having a blast. I looked for his number at the bottom of his sign, or his gmail, nothing. Obviously not a player. Perfect!

We're Here. We're Unclear. Get used to it. # Occupy.

I liked this sign a lot. Yes, sign envy was coming back on strong. If only I had thought of that. This had the same ring as "Down with this sort of thing." Cheeky! Thumbs up.

Yes everyone was tucking into pizza willy nilly.

I hope they will still be looking so healthy in a few months, but I will never know.

Princess, what have you got against pizza, it has all the staples for a healthy meal,"said a painted warrior.

The sign warning against the NSA slow pizza poisoning from last week had long gone.

"Trust me, you don't need the empty calories , the chili is a better bet."

I left it at that, I can't save the world every day. Nobody listens to me anyway about anything so why would this be any different.

Hey love, cheer up, have a bite of pizza, it's delicious!

Yikes, the pizza! I know things are bad but I am not quite ready to commit Hari Kari with slow death by pizza poisoning.

"Kind Sir, the pizza is not recommended may I suggest you try the veggie chili instead? "

The Animal Zone also had a wish list

Leashes, jackets, snacks, wet food, toys,doggy bowls...
I deposited a carrot from my lunch into the basket.

It got me thinking about the SP Wish List.
Boyfriend, 2nd Date, Diamond Ring, make that large diamond ring, free flights to Scotland, Boyfriend, oh , I said that already. Boyfriend for all my single friends and family. Make that well behaved boyfriend. That should do for starters.

Now where should I set up camp. Prospective boyfriends line up here..... I knew OWS would have a space for me and my deserving cause.

This pup has been here since the start, he keeps me safe!

Well I never sure enough a Doggy Occupier! What next!

Wow Occupy Paw Street, they even mobilized the dogs. Impressive!

But how do the dogs hold a sign up? How do they show their loyalty to the movement, a few well placed barks, a few bites for any aggressive policeman. I guess they will find a role.

Ok what have we got that would help me.....

Substance Abuse... No, but if things don't improve I could be leaning in that direction, save that one for later...

Non violent communication .... I tried that, I was hopeless, yes 2 - 3pm , but the man was totally lacking in empathy despite his sign.

Think Tank, that must be the Pizza Lady, she and I had an altercation last time I was here. That's a no.

Yoga and Meditation - ok yes!

She meant no harm coppers, come on lass, did I show you the workshop schedule yet?

One of my friends jumped in before I got into any more trouble. He moved me along rapidly before the cops got more fed up. They think the Zuccotti Park Occupiers are a handful, they should consider their job easy compared to finding a second date in this town. First dates are easy but it is making it to a second where everything seems to go wrong. I think I need a workshop or two or twenty.

Did the cops have to get involved?

Princess, that poor unemployed joiner from Atlanta wants his sign back. You are not supposed to steal from the 99%, even if you are going through a bad bout of "Sign Envy" the new 21st century malaise."

"Officer, you look familiar, were you the Bobby kissing in the Banksy mural? You are certainly handsome enough. I was simply borrowing the sign to make a point to the coach here on how NVC may not work for dating. No harm meant. Please don't arrest me! In fact can you go and visit the culprit and tell him to pick up the bleedin' phone."

"We are quite busy down here at Zuccotti , not sure our duties stretch to date chastising!" they laughed non empathetically.

Coach I feel I need to retaliate I am not taking this lying down

I grabbed the sign out of some poor unsuspecting Occupier.

"See, how do you feel, I speak up!. I am taking this sign as a personal message. Demand respect now and if a guy is a jerk, tell him, loudly." I smiled sweetly.

This non violent communication style may work great for politics, but according to the author of Why Men Prefer Bitches, the no nonsense approach garners more respect and better behavior.

I suddenly spied my old friend the coach

I had paid for ten sessions and finally was turning up for my first one. The coach had expanded his repertoire to include non violent communication techniques and free empathy.
I started to drone on about my latest Match date, which I thought was a hit and then all I got was deathly silence. "It was so disappointing, I can't understand it, I thought I was the full package and then some. Should I text him? Call him a total jerk and loser for blowing me off? Is there a non violent message you can recommend ? In fact what about a tad violent to show you don't mess around with me and live to tell the tale?".

"Young lady , I am sorry to hear your date was a bust. I am here to help the homeless, the jobless, the hungry, the disillusioned, the fed up, the up in arms 99%, but the boyfriendless, I am not so sure. Re the angry text, do yourself a favor, do NOT send it. Move on and stop whining."

Hmmmm, I am not really feeling the empathy here.

God Less America

Well clever play of words, that person must have been to coaching. I still have not managed to come up with one original slogan myself.

I know the point of signs was not to make others feel inadequate but some of them did.

Occupy for Innocence showed a photo of a fed up little girl.

She was protesting too high school fees, too much homework, the price of ice cream, it was hard to say.

The new tough world had cost her her innocence. It was a damn shame. Maybe she will be forced to work selling newspapers, like in the old days. One just had to ponder the various nuances. So I did.

Back to OWS for the fourth and final visit

There are over 1000 global occupations including one in Glasgow Green . Here this smart chap did not need to bother with the hassle of making and carrying a cumbersome sign, he just wrote on his jacket! Does it come out in the wash though?
I don't think I have a jacket I am ready to sacrifice quite yet. Maybe three years ago Prada I am tired of.
I asked him if I could write Glasgow Green on his jacket but he said no, the rotter.