Happy Holidays from your very own SP and her very special friends, the lovely Claudine and KJ.

The SP Santacon party went on all through the night and all the guests really let their hair down and boogied to cool Mr Candy Cane's terrific festive beat.

Horrors so scary--But instead of biting my neck in two, the big wolf gives me a gentle kiss. "Oh you are the lovely Scottish Princess that I've heard so much about," he says. "Please forgive me sweet Princess"

"Only if you join my Royal Scottish Tartan Army and help me save the day in Iraq," I replied, never forgetting my important mission. Luckily I had plenty of spare chocolate Chanukah gelt for my hungry friend so everyone was happy.

SantaKong has been trying to rescue a New York damsel in distress for many many years now since his unfortunate incident on the Empire State Building. He need look no further.

Thank goodness he pulled me away from the wolf, the age of chivalry is not dead! Kind of cute too, mmmm.......

I cried out for help but instead things got worse. A viscious Wolf in Santa's clothing was also feeling a bit peckish, as wolves tend to be on the hungry side this time of year.

The scary beast held me at bay for chocolates as well! Help, Help, Can nobody help me?

After all, where are all of those gallant Santas when you need them? Too drunk to notice!

After my warm invitation, Mr Freeze jumps up and accosts the SP! Quite the charmer! His magic wand casts a spell on me and I am frozen in my tracks.

The poor sod--he was bitter cold and hungry and hunting for my reindeer chocolates for much needed nourishment.

What have we here? A young fellow, decked out in blue watching the preceedings by himself. His nose is full of icicles despite Global Warming with 50's temperature.

I thought he seemed a little lonely so I asked him to join in the festivities.

Santa's Reindeer (on wheels) has a long day. He stares bugeyed as hundreds of onlookers, children, policemen, tourists and fellow santas receive a chocolate gift from his deep bellows. The holiday cheer escapes no one at the SP holiday party!

As dusk descends, the Chanukah Chicken and Madam Blue Pussycat spring upon the group. Of good spirits, these sweet creatures provide the cheer that brings Chanukah Gelt to all honored participants.

The Blue Menorah Lady, SP and Sir Tartan Timberlake pose before being presented the Royal Rasberry for Dazzleberryness. The coveted prize is awarded only once a decade and is valued at one million pounds.

Danny the Dreidel and all the Chanukah gang turned up too. I like his blue hat.

It was very sunny that day, as a result of all the global warming we have been experiencing over here , so i decided to go to my own Santacon party dressed as Santa Bo Peep so I could keep my sun umbrella up and protect my skin from these harmful winter heatwave rays.

Quite a crowd of Santas answered the ad. As more and more Santas assembled , the party got rowdier and more crazy until the whole of Central Park was entirely full of Santas of every shape and size.

I decided poorAlex needed a bit of cheering up after his radiation flavoured tea so I organized a Santacon holiday party festival for all the volunteers of the Royal Scottish Tartan before they leave for Iraq.

I put a very small ad in the Style Section ( the party section) of the NewYork Times inviting all the Santas from across the world to come and be part of my ScottishPrincess Holiday Party, which was to be held in various locations of NewYork City.

When I have a party, being the SP, I tend to get lots of new guests dying to meet me as I am a teensy bit famous now, especially after this blog.

As we three, Nicola, the Fire Goddess and your own SP, made our way home, all of us whacked after our various ordeals and struggles, a rather thin and sad looking figure, shouted "Halt,Ladies. Hear my tale. 311 I need help."

"You sure look like you do, what on earth happened to you, did you pull an all nighter at Element , my club, it attracts your type"asked our Fire Goddess none too shyly, perhaps even coquettishly.

"Perhaps something went down the wrong way, did you eat a trans fat item maybe, i hear they are banned here in the US, back home in London bacon sarnies are still quite the rage,"asked Nicola our Snowwoman kindly.

"Now, you are on the right track, I have never felt worse, you may have heard of me, I am the famous Russian Spy, Alexander V. Litvinenko and I am seeking revenge on Dmitri Kovtun, the ratbag, who I know put some Polonium 210 radiation in my morning tea when I was on my vacation in London and I dropped down dead as a doorpost. I must have revenge. Can you help me find him?"

"Look Alex, these things happen, try not to take it too personally, Kovtun was only doing his job. Why not come along to Iraq with us and join our Scottish Tartan Army. You could be our secret weapon, any troublemakers , just breathe on them , i think you are still contagious right?. We can chat about it over a nice cuppa." I said, trying to console the poor thing and get him to look on the bright side and feel useful again.

"Cuppa, tea, UURRGGGHHHH..... 311 no more tea please. I am off tea for good." Alex cried in a panic.

"OK, hot chocolate then, there is a great new chocolate restaurant in the East Village run by Israelies that is a big hit in NY, just relax till we get there. We can take you to a yoga class en route so you can clear these old fashioned revenge ideas out, have compassion for Kovtun, I am sure it was a mistake."

"Hhmmph, I am not so sure. " said Alex, taking my hand with his boney skeleton fingers.
"Ok, let's go."

Nicola to the rescue.

Out of thin air, she came, from her ipod she heard the twins cry for help on an NPR podcast, as the frequencies got confused.

Nicola towered over the tiny Fire Goddess and started spinning towards her.

"Oiey, You Fire Lady, Leave my kind, the snowtwins be, or else. Go back to your nightclub in NY. No fire tricks allowed in this neighborhood." she said very assertively, considering she only just arrived here from London.

Nicola wrapped her big arms around the Fire Goddess in a friendly but firm grip and all her flames dissolved and the snowtwins were safe again.

"I was only making friends,"the Fire Goddess said, looking at her soaked leather glove.

"Do something useful and join the SP Scottish Tartan Army and help us win the day in Iraq. No time to waste and then we can all be friends."
and so the Fire Goddess joined our ranks.

The Blue Snowmen Twins who watched the whole Spider battle, suddenly started panicking as the Fire Goddess walked towards them with her flame covered leather glove outstretched.


Aww, how sweet, matching snowmen twins. We don't get your sort in the East village. Let me introduce myself, I am the Beautiful Fire Goddess. Let me shake your hands."

"Be off with you, back to the city. Shoo,Shoo, SHOO ! 311! 311! Bloomberg, help. Go away. We don't go for you Freak Fest EastVillage types in the burbs. Get that firey glove away from us. Bloomberg, help."

But the Fire Goddess could not resist them and her lonliness and longing for the innocent time of her childhood drew her closer and closer to the trembling snowmen twins.

"We are dripping, somebody take this lady home, please,311."

Thank Goodness , the beautiful, exotic Fire Goddess heard my 311 cry for help all the way from Element the hot new Club on Houston Street, Lower EastSide.

As brave as she is beautiful, she turned to face the Spider and singed his raggedy, worn, frayed, black mothball covered coat until he released his evil grip.

As a double precaution, she threw him into his own mailbox , and kicked it shut.

As a final gesture and apt punishment, she chucked three months of junk mail from Chase, Continental Airlines and Planned Parenthood into Sammy's mailbox, unopened as we all know how he hates junk mail above everything.

Then she locked the little door and neatly swallowed the key, without batting an eye.

"That takes care of that rascal, nuisance of a Spider", she said gallantly, "you look rather shaken. Let me warm you up..."

I went back to the Ananda Ashram for some peace and quiet after my hectic trip to London and gathering of my Scottish Tartan Army and decided to go back down to my favorite tranquil lake.

Sammy the Mailbox Spider beckoned me over
"HeyPrincess,C'Mere lets take a look at that fancy green jacket of yours, Come Closer, let me see how soft and warm it is.."

"Hi Sammy, I did not know you were interested in fashion, especially as all i ever see you in is that humdrum black furry coat, which is getting a bit ragged at the edges, if you don't mind me saying."

"Not at all, your coat on the other hand is perfectly fabulous. Can I just touch it for a second."

Next minute he grabbed me at the jugular, and did a very realisitic job of turning into Sammy the Spider Vampire.

"Sammy, Get off me, i told you i do not , did not or will not send you junk email. 311 , 311,Bloomberg Help! Get this creature away from me. Ouch ! Ouch!"

"Save your screams , Princess, Bloomberg does not respond to 311 calls made fromHarriman, Monroe, now it is for my royal lunch you will be."