You see even Yoko Ono, my new pal, wears sunglasses inside, where it is absolutely unneccessary because as far as I am aware it is never that sunny indoors , no matter what the season and note SP Followers and Fashionistas, she never takes off her vintage white Robin Hood hat with a black feather , and seems to enjoy it most when she is simply relaxing at home inside with her beloved SP and other less important friends and it is not raining indoors and there is no need for such a hat. You have to hand it to her, she looks fabulous and she is one of the gals setting the new trend I have identified of wearing your own Halloween costume at all times especially when no one else is wearing anything interesting and Halloween is more than a week away.

That night I went to a gallery in Chelsea and some of Yoko Ono's timeless Word Picture Advice Art was displayed. She is as much in fashion as her hat.

Plane Piece

Hire a plane.
Invite everybody.
Ask them to write a will to you before boarding.

1964 spring y.o.

I like the subtlety of that piece, my advice here is DON'T FLY THAT PLANE EVEN IF ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE ON IT and you are taking a trip to Wee Mumsy's castle on the loch in Scotland. If you want to be really clever convince a less well known friend of yours to ask your friends to write their will to you before boarding so as not to appear too heavy handed, calculating or obviously greedy. You could also tell her or him to ask them to give at least 3% of their worldly goods to charity to throw them completely off track. Disregard this advice poem if you actually like your friends.

Room Piece

When a room is needed, obtain a person instead of room.

Live on him.

When another room is needed, obtain another person instead of another room.

Live on them.

1964 spring y.o.

(She has a point why go to all the bother of spending months on Craigs List to try and save the broker's fee when you rent an apartment when you can simply live on top of one of your friends instead, like a snail. I would recommend going for one of your bigger friends and if you know Jamie from the earlier blog he looks like he would be perfect to live on, nice and chunky. Jimmy the Skinny Skeleton from 96th Street not such a good option. When you do go to live on one of your friends, my advice is to travel light so you do not freak them up when you turn up with a huge suitcase and expect them to balance that on their head all day as well as you.

Yoko's radical Art Advice Poem idea could revolutionize the housing problems we have today with lack of space and the fact that no one can afford to buy anything decent unless you come from Dubai. Also Jerry Speyer you might just be lucky, you have just spent a world record $5.4 billion dollars ( almost as much as Wee Mumsy's castle on the loch in Scotland is worth) on that ugly housing complex in Stuyvesent Town with the hope you can get rid of all those rent controlled tenants quickly. Just read them YO's Advice Art poem and tell them to go and live on top of one of their friends instead, no need to hang around here. If they are Fashionistas and went to that cool show in Chelsea you may just convince them. I would give them a few, but not too many hangers, as a going away present. They can then hang their clothes on their friends arms and get themselves comfortable right away.)

And one more of her most famous, sensible and highly topical Advice Art Pieces on show in Chelsea right now.

Revalue Piece II

Use all existing art work as pieces of
Furniture and household appliances.
i.e. Use sculpture such as Henry Moore's
as diaper hangers, or chairs or bookshelves, tables and beds. Use paintings such as Monet and Picasso as heavy curtains, sofa cover,etc.

(she obviously had severe space problems in her apartment like most New Yorkers and these are very good space saving tips that the staff at Hold Everything would probably be very proud of, sorry to interrupt.)

back to the poem ..

Use all existing armaments as decorative objects and accessories.
i.e. Use cannons and fighters for garden sculpture, bullets for earings etc.

1968 winter y.o.

Now this makes a statement, bullets for earings. The world is becomming a very dangerous place and no one is safe even the Amish children it seems, this advice could come in handy if any nut job or terrorist tries to attack you, simply grab your earings and thrown them at the nut job as hard as you can, pretend it is that teacher that used to pick on you at school. These super practical and multi purpose bullet earings may just save your life one day.

All I can say SP followers is that you heard it first here ( you will not find these earings in stores yet, the idea is too new so you just need to make them yourself from your grandpa's used bullets as all Americans have guns stashed somewhere or if not a quick trip to Iraq or Afghanistan would probably get you started ).

You must admit, I am always coming up with great safety conscious but fun ideas to improve your image, wellbeing, lifestyle and tenure on this planet.