Pothead Postie Beware!

My sis Angie from Australia and I were visiting Ananda Ashram, Harriman, Monroe, this weekend and we decided to take a peaceful yogic walk to the lake to enjoy the fall colors when all of a sudden we came upon this ferocious but kind of sweet looking tarantula spider beast called Sammy attached to a mailbox.

Being the Scottish friendly sort I wanted to pat it and make friends with Sammy but my sis warned me, "Look, it might look like a sweet, cuddly, furry friendly pet spider but take it from me you shouldn't go near that monster, did you see the fangs on that thing. It is viscious. Stay away." Sure enough a minute later a whistling postman appeared with a large sack of letters. ( Some of you may or may not know that the mailbox was recently positioned at the end of the street and far away from the front door to protect innocent mailmen from being attacked by viscious guard dogs. Nobody thought for a minute that these new safety mailboxes might attract their own ferocious predators...)

The cheerful happy go lucky postman, without even thinking, put out his hand to open the mailbox when that taratula spider let out a blood curdling, rockweiler worthy snarl and opened its huge sharp fangs in an attempt to take a chunk out of the poor postman's hand.

" HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, WE DON'T WANT NO JUNK MAIL HERE, BE GONE YOU POTHEAD POSTIE!".

The poor postie only just grabbed his hand back in time and shoving all the mail under a pile of leaves, took off like the wind. "Told you so," said Angie, "It probably has rabies as well, that poor postie had a lucky escape."

Visibly shaken we continued our walk. "Angie," I said, "Can I ask you a question, Bush said last night we need to pacify the capital in Iraq and we need more troops to quell the violence and Iraq might be on the brink of a civil war."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, look how about gathering the three ghosts, the witch, if she can be revived, Darth Vadar and Sammy the Spider from outside the houses of Nanuet and Saphire Road , Monroe. They are about as fierce as you can get and could probably get the whole thing sorted out in ten minutes. It worked in the Lord of the Rings with the Tree Ghosts so why not use the Nanuet Ghosts and Friends? It would save the country a whole lot of money not to mention poor soldier's lives. I am calling Hilary Clinton right away, she is bound to go for it."

You see now that I was laterly awarded the Noble Peace prize for boiling that wicked witch in Nanuet in her own Le Creuset cauldron, these ideas just come to me naturally.

I admit I do feel a bit bad for the old Nobel Peace prize winner Muhammad Yunnus, the "banker to the poor" who provided finance to many poor ladies in Bangladesh so that they could get internet access and read my blog and send it to their friends, because that is a very important part of most people's days and he kindly did not want them to miss any of the posts, but to hold on to a prize like that you really need to do something very dramatic like boiling a witch and saving a whole neighborhood, which not everyone can do, especially if they do not start their day with a steaming plate of porridge and raisens which readys you for any challenge.