Heading to the city, I happened to meet none other than Sir Humphrey Huckleberry of Leeds, one of the leading medieval Knights of St John, having a quiet cup of tea by his castle battlements.

"Why Sir HH, would you care to join my Scottish Tartan Army? The Queen has asked me to round up the bravest in the land for our Royal Very Important Mission. You are already dressed for the part and I think it would be a very good thing for you to attend the Garden Party. If anyone causes us a spot of bother, you could always try some nasty medieval toture on them to shut them up."

Sir HH replied,"Let me let you into a secret, we Knights have never been taken seriously since Monty Python's Holy Grail. I have a slight inferiority complex, as every time I walk into a room , people start banging coconuts together as though they are riding a horse and snickering and it is most unpleasant. Gets on my wick if you must know. I fancy a change of scenery. I want to go back to the old days when a medieval knight was a figure of fear and terror and was treated with proper respect.

If I come with you do you think I may reclaim my tough image again as I have not picked up a bird or had a good snog since that infernal movie came out. I need some action."

"Why, Sir HH, in New York, you will have no shortage of dates, I assure you, women like a real man out there and chain mail is very big in the S and M clubs. If they try stopping you at Customs, just say you are one of the extras for the much adored Monty Python Broadway Blockbuster show , Spamalot."

"Mam, did you just say Monty Python.... "

"Oooppss..."