As we three, Nicola, the Fire Goddess and your own SP, made our way home, all of us whacked after our various ordeals and struggles, a rather thin and sad looking figure, shouted "Halt,Ladies. Hear my tale. 311 I need help."

"You sure look like you do, what on earth happened to you, did you pull an all nighter at Element , my club, it attracts your type"asked our Fire Goddess none too shyly, perhaps even coquettishly.

"Perhaps something went down the wrong way, did you eat a trans fat item maybe, i hear they are banned here in the US, back home in London bacon sarnies are still quite the rage,"asked Nicola our Snowwoman kindly.

"Now, you are on the right track, I have never felt worse, you may have heard of me, I am the famous Russian Spy, Alexander V. Litvinenko and I am seeking revenge on Dmitri Kovtun, the ratbag, who I know put some Polonium 210 radiation in my morning tea when I was on my vacation in London and I dropped down dead as a doorpost. I must have revenge. Can you help me find him?"

"Look Alex, these things happen, try not to take it too personally, Kovtun was only doing his job. Why not come along to Iraq with us and join our Scottish Tartan Army. You could be our secret weapon, any troublemakers , just breathe on them , i think you are still contagious right?. We can chat about it over a nice cuppa." I said, trying to console the poor thing and get him to look on the bright side and feel useful again.

"Cuppa, tea, UURRGGGHHHH..... 311 no more tea please. I am off tea for good." Alex cried in a panic.

"OK, hot chocolate then, there is a great new chocolate restaurant in the East Village run by Israelies that is a big hit in NY, just relax till we get there. We can take you to a yoga class en route so you can clear these old fashioned revenge ideas out, have compassion for Kovtun, I am sure it was a mistake."

"Hhmmph, I am not so sure. " said Alex, taking my hand with his boney skeleton fingers.
"Ok, let's go."