"Cmere, Princess thing or whatever they call you, fancy a cocktail with me. The word on the street is you are looking for a Manly Man, well guess what your luck is in, as I am available, right here and right now. C'mon love, why all this skeleton bashing we are really nice guys at heart and if you kiss me you won't even get a rash like that Hellraiser Spiky dope you wanted to date. Har, har, har! "

He clanked, his white bones rattling in an inviting way, his dapper top hat at a jaunty jolly angle and with one bony finger he beckoned me inside with a skeleton leer and a ghoulish gaffaw at my miserable dating luck.

"You know what Skelly Sir,that is an enticing offer," I replied as politely as I could muster, '' and quite frankly the best I have had all week ( which sadly was the truth) I really would love to join you but sadly Halloween is tomorrow night and I have not one iota of a costume to wear so I simply must fly. Can I take a raincheck?"

Without waiting for his answer I dashed off in search of the Master Costume.

"Princess thing, come back I have a great spare skeleton costume you can wear and we can dance the night away, just we two. I know where all the cool parties are too." I heard him clank but thankfully I was long gone.

My goodness, what a night, come back Doggy Dates all is forgiven at least you are cuddly.