"It is really a simple and obvious message that all of us, your friends too have been saying since you came back from the Bahamas. Now if you could just read your message I could get back to my toy. Would you like to buy me, by the way, and take me home, I only cost $5000 and as it is the last day and the last fifteen minutes of the show you could probably have me for $4500. I look great in any living room or bedroom and I am way cheaper than my mum but just as nice.Don't let her hear me saying that but I know you like bargains and I am one, she up there is $15,000, way overpriced."

Cripes, it must be hard to be a sculpture when everyone just looks at you for a second and then walks past without buying you, constant rejection, no wonder some of them look a but glum, I couldn't take it myself. I hate it when I go to a party and no one wants to take ME home and I have that dreaded taxi ride home alone.

Think how all these poor art pieces feel standing tall and proud, trying to look like the puppy in a pet shop with big sad eyes calling us"Buy me, buy me, pick me, pick me, you will love me, I will make your life better, I promise. When your friends see me they will think you have the most marvelous taste and you are the most refined cultured person they know." Then you just ignore them, it must be heart breaking for them. You must need a pretty tough skin to be an art piece, that is for sure.

"Well, I will think seriously about it in the last fifteen minutes of the show in the meantime would you mind pointing me to my message I can not seem to find it anywhere." I replied politely keeping a firm grip on my checkbook in case I wavered at her sad plight.