"You up there, would you like to share some porridge with the SP, is it safe for me to swim, is there any jellyfish in the ocean that might sting me?"

I bombarded the lifeguard with questions but he was up so high I don't think he heard me.

"Swimming in the ocean is for members only. Where is your wristband? Be off with you, lass."

With that he shooed me off my own newly conquered beach, huh, the cheek of it!