Scottish Princess News Alert, Read All About It!

The global meltdown has forced many Santas and elves to take up employment as shop window dummies and other menial labor positions.

In this weeks New Yorker a depressing cartoon was featured of two elves sitting downing martinis in a bar.

"What a Christmas, first the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."

The proof is here. This poor old Santa probably in his 80's was hiding in the back of the Duane Reade window display on 23rd Street one night when I was making my way home through the snow and sludge.

"Santa, what you doing selling baking trays and corkscrews, you are supposed to be providing Christmas cheer to us all and giving out gifts to deprived or spoilt children at Macys and Bloomies. You look like you are in a state of shock."

"Ahh, SP, you found me. This is so humiliating but the Missus made me do it or we will have no Christmas pud this year. Santas are being laid off by the hundreds these days."

"I thought it was the bankers and Chrsyler auto makers that were hurting, you too, this is terrible, let me see what I can do. Last year Home Depot kidnapped the Elves and forced them to sell cake mixers and the Super Blue Jew rescued them at my request.

Stay calm. "