Every day she cried ,"Art, Art, I must do it for the Art. Maybe some wealthy trendy Soho Fashionista, will take me home and feed me. Ah how I long for a Mac and Cheese grilled to perfection under the oven or a spaghetti limon, a chocolate shake or a black sesame seed ice-cream, anything but cayenne flavored lemonade, that is why I am so thin, that blasted cayenne burnt a hole in my stomach. Sob! Sob! How is a lass to survive on 3 calories a day for 3 months. This gallery owner Humphrey Wafflepants should be arrested for cruelty to exhibits. It is an injustice so it is..."
Then Humphrey would walk over to her and prod her in the stomach,
"Jemima stop whining, enough already. I told you I want you STICK THIN, get it. The ladies that come in here pop in after shopping in Chanel, most of them are Russian models, they want an art piece that looks like them, not some dumpy girl in a blue raincoat with an octopus on her head. ( looking at me). Now drink your lemonade and quiet down you are upsetting the other exhibits.( Well, we all looked down at the ground) Be thankful you got to keep your own breasts and they weren't replaced by red eggs."
Then his iPhone 4 rang and he started laughing and guffawing in that annoying, pompous way to his art cronies, that the poor exhibits were complaining and isn't it a terrible shame.
And so she cried. Well we all gave her sympathetic looks but what could we do, we have our own jobs to look after. In this climate you have to be grateful you get any work at all.
As for me, well I am allowed to eat. I am to appeal to the podgy rich little girls that come in and Hump says someone will buy me soon. And then I will be free. At least Jemima does not have a slimy, slithery live octopus balanced on her hat. I have to stand here all day and not move a muscle in case the octopus falls off! If it falls off, even once, Humph says he is booting me out the show. I am a nervous wreck with it all. My nose tickles me all day and I can't even scratch it. I feel like I am in my own hell, the Sisyphus of the art world and all for a measly $7 an hour. It's an injustice that it is. Sob! Sniffle! Sniffle! Please would you scratch my nose."
I reached over to softly scratch her little nose, and the octopus glared at me and shifted a little on her head, almost falling off. Cripes! These poor exhibits have it tough. Someone should report this Ne'er Do Well Hump character for cruelty to exhibits , he is probably selling their breasts and body parts too, what a fiend.
Humph glanced up from his IPad and gave me an icy glare.
"Please do not touch the exhibits , any breakages must be paid for. Hey, aren't you the girl who never paid for the Porridge Chair , over in Chelsea, there is a Wanted Notice out for you in the art world."
"Nah, that wasn't me, that girl left to Scotland over Thanksgiving , I don't think she is coming back. How much for that fabulous Skinny Exhibit Doll with the white hair, if only I could be as thin as her,she is gorgeous!"
"Ah, you must mean Jemima. Please come and take a look. She took months to perfect, the Italian artist just won a prize at Art Basel for her, she is my treasure , what a good eye you have."
I winked over at the Octopus girl, who gave me a teeny, weeny smile with the corners of the mouth, whilst hardly moving an inch. The octopus gave me another steely, cold stare, and then walked over to see Jemima with Humph, who had suddenly become charm himself and would not stop talking about all the awards and accolades, rave reviews for the ground breaking Jemima piece.
"This is the way women dream of looking but daren't admit it." He droned on.
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