But my girlfriends said Dave the Dirty Devil is not so bad, give him a chance, at least you can be sure he is naughty, so how bad can he be.

Then the Blue Wizard said,"Oh that naughty Dave the Dirty Devil is all talk if he tries to come a foot closer to you I will turn him into a giant slug, and he will not bother you again, so chill and go and dance with your friends. I will keep an eye out for him, no need to worry now."

Wheylan, the Angel Playa Burning Man Couture Fashion Designer, pulled in beside his beloved Jules, he whispered

" Have no fear, Miss SP, I will not let the Devil take you away as I am making you a very fancy silver Halloween Costume so I need you around a but longer plus you are my best known customer."

In a second I was gone hiding amongst the dancers.

"In fact now that I have you within arm's reach I think I will just whisk you off to hell right now as from all accounts you should have been with us years ago after all the mischief you have been getting up to your whole life. Come with me Princess we are leaving RIGHT NOW. You do not need to pack as we have everything you need down there. Let's go", he snarled the viscous thing that he was.

But I can not just go anywhere without packing, in hell I would need a portable air conditioner as it supposedly gets very hot down there, some new Missoni bikinis to look good whilst surrounded by hot flames, a year's supply of Hagen Daz Cookies and Cream ice cream and a designer pitch fork, which I am sure Ricky's will sell but I need to check. The list is endless. I can't just be whisked off without a moment's notice.

"I don't think so" I replied, and I stabbed him in the eye with a handy peacock feather which until then I had been using to tickle handsome angel men under the chin. "I am not going anywhere with you, find some other girl to abscond with, you crazy red faced devil nutjob."

I ran away through all the dancing heaving partying throngs of angels to find some heavenly protection.

Just when I thought my night could not possibly get any worse, Dave the Dirty Devil strolled past and informed me that all this dabbling in canine dating is going to get me in some serious deep trouble as it is really not allowed in any state or any country.

Well this fallen angel welcomed me into his open arms and he sweetly commiserated with me that I had not found either Mr Right or a Doggy Date that evening but offered me instead a trip to heaven on his silver wings. I declined as I do not fly Angel Class, preferring the safety of a plane's wings instead.

He did not like my answer one bit so he skulked off back to his hunting ground to see if he could have better luck with one of the other fallen angel girls.

The cool thing was that his whole doggy face was lit up in the dark, and it looked very mysterious so I am sure he got lucky in the end.

Last night I decided I wanted to try and find a D Date of my own after researching the subject so intensely over the last few days, so I went to the Kostume Kult Fallen Angels party in the super trendy Meat Packing district.

Sure enough I found a handsome man who had been reading my blog and was dressed as an Egyptian Mythical Super Dog in order to attract girls like me.

Now Edgar is getting impatient. I heard Edgar wuff to his date," Hey Sweetie, have you not finished paying yet. Let's go already. You promised to take me to Nolita to get a new collar for the winter and it is after 4.30pm, the shops close soon. Hurry."

Ok so maybe DDates whine too.

Even guys can go on Doggy Dates! Don't despair blokes. You too could lead a far more satisfying, less stressful, dating life by simply sticking to dogs.

Here I am at Franks in the East Village for brunch on a hot October Sunday afternoon and an issue comes up on a D Date , who pays? If a cute dog asks you out for brunch, would you not presume that your DDate is hosting the lunch. Yet here is evidence that these D Dates although perfect in so many ways often do not quite have the ready cash to pick up the tab for lunch. Although this cool Franks hunky diner is obviously paying for lunch he looks happy and proud to be on a D Date and not in the slightest bothered by having to cough up. He is obviously a very liberated guy. The way Edgar, as I learned was his name, the bulldog, stares into space in the opposite direction of the bill is his clear and polite way of saying , "This one is on you , baby. I am busy people watching all the East Village freaks."

You can see all the other diners look quite envious that are simply eating with family and friends and not on an It Date with a sexy doggy. One thing is clear when you are on a D DAte you do get a lot of attention from the public.

She laughs at one her D Date's witty comments. Here they are sharing an intimate moment, captured by your SP.

Now this lady on the other hand is more bold. Photographed near Paragon Sports on 18th Street and 5th Avenue, she is obviously on hot D Date. How can you tell? Well, she is wearing white to match the color of her doggy date. She looks down at him adoringly.

She wears a red and white coat, her D Date has a red matching lead. It is these small clues and details that tell you that D Dating is growing big in NYC.

I think she looks like she is having a better time with her Doggy Date.

This lady has not yet gone the whole way with a Doggy Date but is very close to it. She is a gal who likes options. Option 1- this cute little dog on her lap. Option 2 - this fascinating chap.

Therefore, she warms up to the D Date idea by going on an actual date but taking her Doggy Date with her too in case the real date is totally duff, she has a back up so either way she will not go home alone.

Smart. That is what you call forward thinking.

TV Star Dog, you look so sad, your eyes tell a tale that is woeful to behold.

We know your love for Sarah is sincere, so does your TV Audience, it is just the public that can not quite get it.

They will, stay strong. Go play with your ball in the park. Think about something else. Your lunch is as good a place as any to start.

"Wuff, wuff. Sarah took me to Rosa Mexicana for lunch and the guac was scrumptious. We got a table straight away as people recognized me from my poster." TV Star Dog said to me, licking his chops.

"There how many dogs can say they have been to Rosa Mexicana and have their own make up lady and their own RV trailer home for all their Doggy Couture outfits, just you. Now let's see a Doggy TV Star smile. You are going where for dinner? "

"Smith and Wolensky for a big T Bone. Just me and Sarah so we can catch up. It will be wuffderful." A hint of a doggy smile alighting his sweet face.

You see Monty Python was right as John Cleese and the gang sang in The Life of Brian, " Always look on the Bright Side of Life."

I was walking down 5th Avenue around 20th Street today and I noticed the strangest thing.

A whole new comedy show about a lady who is obviously having a heavy duty love relationship with a dog. You see I knew this D Date ( as opposed to JDate, where you can meet Jewish dates) thing would take off but I really did not realize that after I legitimized the whole thing by writing about it in my blog and now it is no longer taboo anymore, Comedy Central would move in so fast to make a whole TV Show about Doggy Love.

It is kind of cute as the TV Star Dog wears a special "Sarah" jacket proclaiming his love for his gal for the whole world to see, sort of the way a man might tattoo his arm with his special lady's name or initials. She looks glum and fed up, sitting on her swing waiting for her life to improve by magic. Perhaps she is fed up that no one really understands why she can only have a romantic relationship with a dog when by the last count there are still plenty men around on the planet, even if many of them are nerds, geeks, bores, has beens, wimps, loosers, airheads, alkies, druggies, self obessed, pitiful and painfully dull, in fact most are a complete waste of space .

( That she knows, not that I know, because I do know a few cool guys who are totally awesome, well I know one, did know one, actually he left town. Sarah, any room on that swing? I confess to be a little glum myself right now but that is another story. Ah men. )

Sarah, you are not the only one who loves a dog, a very nice lady in Chelsea restaurant, see Monday's post, is doing the same thing as you, so cheer up. I can tell you the restaurant where they let the dog dates sit at the table with you so you don't have to crouch down to hear what your date is wuffing / saying to you and scuff your pants. The food is decent too. Don't despair, Sarah.

I mean look at that profile, the posture, the dignity, the poise, the air of command, well I could go on and on.

How can you go wrong?

Apparantly so as this doggy let slip that he has been making such great sales that now he is running the whole store and the owner fired everyone else.

It seems that dogs are not only Man's Best Friend, they have huge potential to double or even quadruple a stores revenue so they can be a valuable business partner as well as a dating partner.

Who knew? Maybe I have been barking up a tree for years searching for Mr Right when I should have been looking closer to the ground for Mr Four Legged Paws instead. I hate to be the last one to know about a hot new phenomena, I had better get in on this dog business / relationship partner thing quickly I thought to myself or all the good dogs will be snatched up.....

Anyway, pondering the fact that maybe Doggy Rights might be the next big issue for us all, I was walking down St Marks and I decided I may as well buy a pair of fishnet tights as one never knows it may finally get cold next month.

I picked out two great pairs and I made to pay but there was nobody serving in the store at all. How odd, I thought.

Then all of a sudden this little dog appeared from behind the studded belts 25% off box and wuffed at me most kindly,

"Can I help you mam? Would you like to purchse those two articles of hosiery, I think they will look very fetching on you and it is an excellent idea as they are on sale, $5 off if you buy two pairs. $23 please, just pop it in the till. Wuff, thanks."

I was so stunned. Who is training these dogs?Their sales talk is a little wooden and they are a bit pushy but who can say no when a dog serves you. Would he have bit me if I changed my mind? Did this dog take a perfectly able New Yorkers job? Now I am sounding Racist I mean Doggist, gosh it is all a little confusing.