HELP, the New York suburbs have gone crazy with giant ghoulish garden gnomes.

Are these terrifying giant garden gnome ornaments meant to scare off burglars? potential islamic terrorists? stray dogs? the neighbors kids?

Americans really take security to heart in the Nanuet neighborhood in Rockland County judging by the effort they go to terrify peaceful passer bys and innocent dogwalkers.

These three ghosts may look jolly and welcoming to you leaping out of a a smiling pumpkin cake come jack in the box to say "hi baby" like a stripogram for someone who has a severe ghost fetish problem, but take it from me you don't want to rub them the wrong way or who knows what they might do. When I drove past to take their picture, which one would think would make them happy, that big white scary one with his hand up let out a massive bloodcurdling scream, "KEEP OFF OUR LAWN, YOU LOW DOWN SCOTTISH PRINCESS SCUMBAG." If this is how Americans welcome visitors, I think I will stay at home.