SP Friends, is it my fault, look, he looked quite good at the start of the night, quite dashing, noble and elegant even, a sheepish boyish smile, cutesy, in his green velvet jacket, matching kilt, tartan tie, even his tie pin was green. The chappie went along way to impress me.

Shame that the haggis dish got the better of him, ah well, the SP is a woefu woman, just like Tam's wife Kate, and all I can say to all the frustrated Lassies out there whose date did not escort you home, you are in good company and better luck next year.