The very next day I received a summons to go and join all the real Santas of the world who had decided to call an international global protest meeting to take up the plight of the suppressed and kidnapped Home Depot Elves and the 23rd Street Santa and poor Scottie Snowman, who had been condemned to a life of misery, working at the hoover shop instead of a life of fun, giving out gifts at Macys.

"Something must be done for those under age elves. This is Child labor, it is against the law,' Said Rudolph, "do something SP, you know the Queen etc, you can get them out surely."