"You brought it to our attention, it is the least you can do,those poor elves my heart breaks when I think of them, ,"said the Pirate Santa, "and if you can't be bothered moving your pretty pink ass to go and talk to your old buddy the queen, maybe this will help you move a little faster,Mam." he continued, brandishing his sharp scabard at my throat in a most persuasive, articulate way.

"That is just where I was going now , only delayed by this meeting," I said quickly, trying to push through the throng of raging Santas crowding Tompkins Square park.