I was standing at the window, gazing in pure horror, at the Pretender Puma Dogs when a pretty lady in a pink sweater who had just been to Wholefoods, saw one and gasped' "OOOhh, I love it, look at the little lassie Doggy Date in the window. I want one. I must get one for my room mate too, she's going to love that cutey grumpy Bulldoggy. I wonder how much is that doggy in the window?"

In she ran. Joyfully. Wait, I wanted to cry out. These Puma Pretender Dogs are tacky. Hold out for the real thing. But it was too late. When I peered in the window, I saw the store was quite full of such ladies picking out their very own fake Doggy Dates. They all looked happy so who was I to stop them.