"In this house everything stays exactly as it is and that is an order or I send you to Siberia, SP. Got it. No dusting, no rearranging.Just do what the Graces say, wear what they make you ( URGH that purple tutu, no siree)and shut up and no whining in Shubert Mansion.

You are very lucky to be in the most desirable residence in Berlin and if you don't agree, we shoot you." said Stalin's bust most convincingly, an evil glint in his wooden eye, his black moustache curling up with his snarl.

I thought Stalin was supposed to be long gone, what a Roomie he will make, who does he think he is bossing the SP around and threatening me.

"Ey Big Man, Stalin, you are dead, I visited your tomb or at least I have read about people visiting your tomb so I am not frightened of you.

None the less, I am leaving you, the Masked Fiend and The Three Graces. Find some other rich American tourist to take over this junk shop, remember I am Scottish, no one pulls the wool over my eyes! This place sucks.It is not for me. I don't mean to be ungrateful but Stalin and the SP could never room together, two strong willful personalities like us would be a disaster."

See Ya!

I ran down the staircase, passed the creepy Staircase Lady, who winked at me on the way down, past the fireplace, the chandaliers and only just stopping to grab my purple spiked tutu , I made a sharp exit on to the street.

The Fiend called after me. "SP, you make a mistake, you will be so happy here, we serve struedel every day."

But I couldn't hear him as this time it was me that was running. Puff, puff, puff, if only I had not had that second piece of struedel, I thought.

But they were gone, phew!