Girls, Girls, that Monkey Head may not look riveting but trust me walk NOT away.

The Sleeping Swimmer opened her eyes for one brief moment.

"I was out with wee Menschy the Mobkey last night. After two weeks of being in this boring show together he finally talked me into a date. Now look at me, he took me swimming to the pool on the roof of his Deluxe Chelsea Condo and Ravished me with a Capital R for hours. Ooh, the joy of his soft fuzzy beard, he tickled me all over with it. I am beat, I don't have the energy even to get dressed. I told the gallery owner I was taking the day off, but he insisted I was in the show as usual so I said ok but I am staying like this I just want to drool and dream about my hot night with Menschy the Monkey, yummieeee. Ladies, he get's a 10, make that 110."

And with that, she closed her eyes and went back to sleep the pool water still dripping on her damp shoulders.

"See," said Menschy,"you too could experience a Night of Pure Joy. Who wants to meet at the Rooftop Pool of my Chelsea digs tonight?"

We all three looked at each other.

The Doc stepped forward. 8pm she said boldly.

"You got it babe. Be there or be square and bring your La Perla Cossie, for some after hours fun." Menschy looked thrilled at the thought of a new conquest .

"Doc, he will probably drag you up to the pool by your hair and you just got expensive highlights, are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"So you think just you are to have adventures, we can review my Monkey Date next week, I am getting tired of talking of your disappointments time for some of my own! Didn't you see the Swimmer, she looked blissed out , I need some of that action. Monkey or not, I'll take it."
With that she stormed out the Gallery tossing her card at the Monkey, who hid it in his beard with a smug grin.

"Wait, wait, Doc, we have Ai Wei Wei Sunflowers still to do, just one more show, this is the Biggey!"

We scampered off into the fresh night air and this time it was my best pal that had the smile on her face.

Linda whined , I have seen enough art, how about Nap Time or a hot chocolate?

Aww come on, look at this lovely Monkey. It is all alone and needs some love too.
We all three gazed at the weird monkey. What was it?
Mr Monkey tell us about you, I asked him.
" Aahh you mean me," smiled the Monkey, " I am the Ultimate Primal Man, I am a Manly Monkey. A night with me and you will have the time off your life! I always cover the check, taxis and other MissAl Expenses, but once I get you home, I demand many hours of sex and I don't take no for an answer. Plus I can tickle you behind your ears with my feet, beat that. Now I know all three are free for The Day of Horrors, you Princess, let me put you out of your misery this year and we can go wild! You in? Doc? Yoga Hamptons Girl? Anyone? Hurry and decide, who is it to be?"
Well this monkey head took us quite aback with his bold, ballsy confidence.

Yoga Girl he is all yours, after lugging Morris around all last week, I am not getting stuck carrying a Monkey Head around, my name is already dirt in several cafes in the East Village. Fuggettaboutit.
I very kindly surrendered my opportunity for a Dream Date to my girlfriend. I hope this is appreciated, Eastyoga, you get the Monkey, I told you it is easy to find love in the City! Swap FB coordinates and let's go.

But The Dots just reminded me of a very sore topic, you know who!

Girls let's Skeedaddle, no offense Damien, but these Dots are bringing back painful memories. I am out of here, pronto, let's catch another hot show. At least we can catch shows, if we can't quite master boys or Muppets! Hurry the galleries close soon.

Mr Guard, are we allowed to take a photo right here

I was not wanting any heads to roll on my behalf.
"Dinna fret lassie, as long as you are IN the photo, Damien allows it. Do you want me to take it ? "
Trust Damien Hirst to come up with a way to allow his paintings to be broadcast across the globe and get all this free publicity and Hoo Ha from this here world famous blog.

Linda, we could not resist showing you The Dots!

Five minutes later at Gagosian on 24th, we were back against our favorite show. Damien Hirst The Dots.
They were just as impressive. The odd thing was everyone was taking Profile Pics all over the show and the Guards were doing nothing about it! They must have been told the more profile pics the more paintings will be sold, who knows!

Despite DeBuffet's failing eyesight , is this painting not remarkable?

I tried my usual diversionary tactics.
But, she fired back in,"Well another day of Extreme Loneliness, Humiliation and Feeling Sorry for yourself is it? Surely this will not be the 6th Day of Horrors spent alone again!
You should cancel your JDate and Match subscriptions and buy a painting instead as something is not working for you, or maybe it is just you! You know the Psychoanalyst Society offer half price sessions during this Day of Horrors period." She smiled but it was more about getting that perfect Facebook shot than real sympathy for Moi.
"Ggrrrr! You are so comforting sometimes! Nice to know I have someone on my side. We are supposed to be focusing on DeBuffet today, remember", I growled.

Linda piped in,"Can't you spare her just this week. Cut her some slack and me too. I have my Netflicks Agenda all planned out for The Day of Horrors, Appetizer Downton Abbey, entree Portlandia and Pudding,Curb Your Enthusiasm, by the time I get through that pile, The Day of Horrors will be over." she smiled triumphantly.

"Quick Girls, the Guards are in the other room, say SEX.

This always produces a smile, one must never lose hope!
A moment later the Doc was back to her old quizzing tactics.
"So Princess, now that Old Morris the Muppet is Number one on your Shit List Parade, spill the beans, any plans for The Day of Horrors. It fast approacheth, as I know , we all know, we cannot escape it, try as we might."

A week later and The Art Appreciation Club was prowling the streets of Chelsea again

This week the first stop was Debuffet Late Years. I was delighted by a room full of vibrant swirly colorful enmeshed circular hazes.
Aileen and I amused ourselves by taking sneaky pictures whilst the guards weren't looking. What can be a better Facebook profile pic than against the backdrop of some hot Chelsea show. I was reminded about a recent New York Times Op Ed about the fact all Facebook and Twitter postings generally are a statement of- "look how great I am." Facebook is a chance to puff up your ego and hopefully impress your old high school friends, who probably could care less about Jean DeBuffet's last years.