Sheriff Zen smiled at me. I smiled back, innocentlyish, sort of.

Then before I could say Jack Robinson, he had my hands tied behind my back in a move that under other circumstances would have been sexy, but tonight was heading up the wrong alley.
"Zen, I did nothing but try and feed a few cute ponies a sugar lump? Is that a crime in Pexas Town? "

Well just at that very moment, in the nick of time, who should come strolling by but Sheriff Zen.

I breathed a sigh of relief. That fiery dragon won't fight me now.

Boy, did I get it all wrong.

The Missus Dragon, smiled her most melting smile, as sickly sweet as her own homemade blueberry muffin, that the said starving prisoner was scoffing at a speed of light, one would think the poor wee lamb had been subsiding on a solitary baked bean a day. The crumbs were everywhere, his face smeared with purple juices, he was not nearly as smoochable now.
But I had another issue on my plate. That old dragon was whispering to Zen ,very agitated indeed. He nodded his head sympathetically, taking notes in his small pocket,scruffy,well used mini booklet ,which was titled,"MISDEMEANORS" in heavy black capital letters.

They both looked over at me. I did not like the smug tone of the look one bit.
"Not only was that wily wench trying to steal the ponies, she was after my poor innocent husband too, let him
finish out his sentence in peace. Off with her head,I say," was the essence of it. The dragon was holding the sheriff's hand tightly. She did not let go.

My sweet darling, you are wasting away so you are, I brought you your favorite jail treat, a home made blueberry muffin! How many days till you are out?

It was all going swimmingly well till she saw me crouching behind the ponies. Not so easy hiding behind them admittedly.
"Who is that cave woman leather clad minx,lay off my man!"
She roared! Yikes! Where are my trusty Knights in Shining Armor when I need them?
"Sweetness, that is our beloved Scottish Princess, she was only doing her duty of visiting the sick, the weary and the encased. She knew how starving I was being fed on one baked bean a day so she simply offered me a sugar lump. Thoughtful!"

"You don't fool me that sugar lump was for the ponies, no man in his right Minsk eats sugar lumps. You pair were up to good. Lady put 'em up!"

Princess you'd better hide or scarper, I see me Missus hot footing over here and she ain't looking so happy.

If you thought Sheriff Zen was fierce he is like one of these cute little ponies, compared to my Missus, boy is she a dragon! Move away now! If she sees us smooching I had been better off staying in this here jail than face that kind of music."

Wow! Thank you kindly! You saved my bacon, what would the LLS think if their Princess was clapped in jail?

Plus I look dreadful in stripes. Can I offer you a fake sugar lump I had planned to use it to lure those decoy ponies away, but you might as well have it! Here, enjoy!
The wee pony's eyes lit up when they saw what little crunchy tasty sweet jewel I had in my hand.
"Not for you, down ! I know your tricks, I am wise to you guys and Zen's not so secret heinous plan."
Hey the prisoner is quite dishy in a sort of sad , disheveled, stripy kind of way. He really saved me, surely I must thank him, show my deep gratitude, my sincere appreciation not to mention that of all the LLS out there. I guess he is oh so very lonely with just the rats for company.
I leaned over to give him a thank you smooch, wow finally some action! That prisoner is wearing pants and as far as I am concerned that is good enough for me! My breath reeked of rum but well he was not exactly fighting off the ladies stuck behind bars, so let me get in there, cheer the old soul up and me too for that matter.
Ponies Stand Aside!!!

Whoa Missy, STOP, don't touch these ponies, they are rigged with cameras!

Anyone tries to nick them and they got thrown right here in this here lousy rat infested jail. The Sheriff whacks you with a huge fine,as he needs extra dough to pay for the dirty women and clean sheets oh so delectable combo and folks round Ramblewood are pretty skint. It is a gag the ponies are rigged with cameras!
Look at me, Madame Boheme plied me with that Rum drink I staggered out saw The sweet ponies and thought me, "if I can't have me a dirty woman as my wifey would throw me out, let me cuddle these pony things! Next thing I knew SLAM! And here I am.

Move away from the ponies! Before they catch you, that Sheriff Zen is pure evil, why he is the devil himself disguised with a fancy badge is all.

Who knew paint could be so interesting?

What do I need Fitzey for anyway , he can go back to his ole' fishwife Missus for all I care. I bet she is not wearing a mini leather skirt like me, dowdy old thing. And that Molly, what a dullard she was, he would never have known if we took a wee trot to the Pavilion, she might have had some cage action if she played her cards right with me as her Wing Man. But oh no, she could not leave her post! Lame, that's what I say it is, lame! They can have each other for all I care. I bet the wee ponies are way more fun, shame they are too small to ride.
I would love to steal one, do you think anyone would even notice? Paris Hilton has her wee doggy and I can have my wee horsey. I'm taking one Shhhhh .... Those critters inside are too drunk to notice anyway.
I must have a mini pony, my life is no longer complete.
Aaawww, they are so cute.
Ok so maybe I am rambling a bit but once I make up my mind, that is it. I was not to be snubbed by Molly one second longer.

I leaned over the wall to the mini ponies quickly scoping out the scene to make sure no one was looking.