But you are not Goldilocks she had blond hair, Said Cuddles.

"No I am not. But she happens to be my first cousin and she told me after she regretted eating your porridge ( it was lousy and lumpy and tasteless) and sitting in your wooden chair and snoozing in your bed. She forgot her contact lenses that day and she thought she was in her own house," I lied. "A simple mistake! She told me to tell you she is sorry! Now move on, free me right away and give me a cuddle! The night air has chilled my bones and I am freezing and aching! "

"Free her! Do it now ! Forgiveness is the key to happiness! " piped in Roland the Rat who had been watching it all. " I don't want her round here, she never stops whining and disturbs my peace! Only you has the strength to pull off those shackles! Once you free her you will symbolically be setting yourself free from your past tyranny of women! Free her and free yourself from
The Chains of Oppression and set an example to the other bears! They look to you for guidance ! " he snarled, giving me a sly wink. Who knew Roland was such a philosopher he must have been taking the workshops.

"I must do it! Step aside all! Cuddles the Defender is here!"

With one deft punch with his paw he broke the shackles and I was FREE! Hurrah ! He cuddled me to warm me up. My ordeal is over at last!
"Love me tender, love me true!" Cuddles was a fine singer indeed, chunky, manly or bearly, strong, heroic, he had everything I was looking for in a man! Ok so he is a bear but that is a minor detail! Wee Mumsy will love him after he raves about her porridge I know it! All will be well at last !
"Elvis Cuddles Bear, you are my hero! Wait till I tell my cousin Goldilocks she was wrong about you all these years! Thank you! Ring out the bells I am free!"