"I'm beautiful inside."

I know Ally the Alien meant well with his giant card. But what about beautiful on the outside. That is what guys you want to date judge you on sadly. So I quickly had a tshirt made " You are beautiful." Inside, outside and all around - in case anyone got confused.

So now Ally has left and I have a pit of emptiness inside, they don't even have Facebook, let alone Twitter, in his planet yet so who knows how we will stay in touch. But when I feel sad, I can always read my sign or wear my tshirt and I know Ally will be looking down and smiling at me in his Mardi Gras pearls and fluffy Santa hat, just a wee twinkling star in the sky, except it is my star...... Sob.


-- Posted from my iPhone

" Are you ready for your message?

You know how you give everyone those tiny wee cards with a secret message and your phone number, and you gave one to Ally hoping that he will call you next time his spaceship is in town, well he has a card for you too. I guess he got into the card with a message thing too."


-- Posted from my iPhone

The day I left another handsome new friend, Monkey Boy, gave me a comforting hug.

"Hey, SP, heard you hooked up with Ally the Alien last night, he left you something as a momento. He said he was not rejecting you and in normal circumstances he would live to have been your Halloween date, but he has to get back to his family. He thanked you for helping in the Scientific Experiment and if you ever feel low you should wear his present."


-- Posted from my iPhone

The next day I hooked up again with Cheekie and his pals

In their playa attire, and sparkly specs they were refreshingly normal after my night with Ally the Two Timing Alien.


-- Posted from my iPhone

The alien had not really mastered English yet

So after our yummy smooch, he opened a can of cool beer, and picked out a sign from his wee alien leather suitcase.

" YOU'RE HOT," it read.

"Well thanks Ally,( I had given him a wee nickname the kind of thing lovers do after a jolly good snog) you are not so bad yourself, why don't you stick around a bit at least for Halloween, we could have fun. I think it might not be so good for you to come to the office party as the other gals will get too jealous and it could cause friction at the workplace but Halloween is a no brainer. How long are you in town anyway?"

" I Leaving tomorrow, you my one night stand then I go back to my wife and alien kidlets," he said, the slimey heartbreaker.

"You mean I am just a scientific experiment, you cheater.In earth the custom is we don't lie and cheat on our wives."
"What about Clinton? ", he had an answer for everything, guess he had done some homework. So we called it a night, and evens stevens. I got a snog and as his wife lived in outer space I guess she wouldn't be coming after me. Hopefully the scientific experiment would be a success as I am a Champion Kisser.





-- Posted from my iPhone

Merry Chreestmas Princess, let's party

Don't ask me how but a totally confused wee alien thingmy was sitting in the disco tent, all ready to party. Whoever sent him down to earth should be shot.

First it is not even Halloween yet let alone Christmas, he is one holiday early. Everyone knows you don't wear a Santa hat before Halloween, it is simply not done.
Two- what is with the mardi gras beads. Lame costume. Duh! You would never get into a Kostume Kult party with a half assed costume like that. The alien research team should have been a bit more savvy. I mean that is just mean and not doing your homework, basic stuff, even aliens should know.

However, he was a real alien and even though he was on the wee bit picante side, being an alien did make him cool so I snogged him. Well by that stage all the others had either gone to sleep or were snogging other ladies so my options were running low.
His breathe was a bit putrid, to be expected, green smoke came out his mouth when he kissed too but his fluffy Santa hat did grow on me and it kept me warm so I considered all in all it was a good night at least I got some action.
The fact that he was an alien however definately made him " GU." Geographically unsuitable - so therefore I knew it was unlikely he would be my Halloween date or my date for the office holiday party ( yet another office party I have to brave alone although I have till December to find a date so why loose hope in October?) still a smooch is a smooch midget alien or not.


-- Posted from my iPhone

A grinning Chinaman opened the curtain of a swinging disco tent and beckoned me to go inside

" Ahh, Mees Preencess, I think zi one you ave been looking for es inside. E as a secret message for you, go in young lady before someone steals him or ze message. Dare is not a meenute to waste. Go, go in..."


-- Posted from my iPhone

I decided to go for a night on the town , well the camp field that night to see if I could a) drown my sorrows over the loss of the lovely wooden pony

b) to step up the boyfriend hunt as there was only one more night to go and I had not even had a snog yet. Very dire straits indeed.
The balloons seemed to pointing in the direction of a fun party. So I took about 8 steps as PDF is so small and sure enough there was more new talent I had not even seen yet, yahoo.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Here is the lovely pony burning. Sob, it is way sadder than the man.

Wee Mumsy, cover your eyes. Do Not Look at this Photo. A few wee fireworks and a totey wee bonfire is all this is.


-- Posted from my iPhone

All the 500 or 800 however many it was folks, gathered in a wee circle to watch the pony burn.

Unlike burning man, instead of cycling for miles and fighting through 50,000 people to get a good view, here you only walked a few yards and sat down right in front of the pony, hassle free burn, like that.


-- Posted from my iPhone

The night they burned my beloved pony, there was a beautiful sunset over the tents and vet motorbikes

That cold weather had at least mustered up a decent sunset, least it could do.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Here is KY taking a photo of yours trully

For many gals diamonds are a girl's best friend and a man can win his love by showering her with sparkling gems. I am simpler, my guy needs to just keep shooting more shots of me for all of you of course. You know momentos of my adventures, nothing to fancy. One thing that I can not bear in a boyfriend or date is a man who dares to whine because I ask him to take the odd( hundred or so) photos of me, in the odd outfit at the odd party. For that crime beheading is too nice. Now KY never complains in fact he seems to even enjoy the challenge so this puts up him high in the running for PDF boyfriend contender.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Ky, another New York celebrity was floating around in Disorient Porange( pink and orange) regalia

His orange top hat was trully dashing.

I had a nice problem " Choice paralysis". Most people get this modern day illness when looking over a scrumptious menu or looking up the aisles of 20 cereal types in Trader Joe's, not me. Each guy was cooler than the last.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Certain NY celebrity burners were there showing the flag

Mr Michael Cha Cha for one. He had a deluxe set up Cha Cha style with a heated tent with three double beds and as many wooly blankets as you might need and a light that switched on and off. On Day 2 he insisted that I bunk in with him and as my hole covered, rain soaked tent was not calling me too strongly I was thrilled to be rescued. Cha Cha was also producing gourmet master chef NY quality noodle dishes and he soon smartly became my best friend at PDF. He is also a fabulous dancer and general delight. So poor Cheekie was suddenly demoted. No heated tent, sorry I need to pass.


-- Posted from my iPhone

The PDF look was a bare all bondage type of thing shown by this nice dummy here

I admired others that did but in freezing temps there was no was no way I was getting my kit off.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Cheekie booted the woman off the horse who had actually made it so I could ride on it instead

Now at PDF you can't be more gallant than that so he scored lots of points.

Sorry about the cloudiness of the pic but it was freezing and raining half the time. Did I mention I was in a tent full of mesh holes and totally see through and when I lay down rain fell on top of me, I thought not. I thought camping festivals except Woodstock of course were supposed to have good weather. Hah! PDF was so freezing when you breathed your breathe was like frosty smoke, urgh, not sparkly bikini weather really at all. But there was no one to complain to so one had to soldier on and have fun despite the elements.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Then we went to see the Pony it was far too beautiful to be burned

I knew we would have to keep the burn the pony ritual hidden from my mum or she would have probably put a stop to the festival being so fond of horses.
So when she called I was very careful not to mention it and when I showed her the pictures of the pony not a word said I about it's sad demise to be.


-- Posted from my iPhone

First he introduced me to his crazy pirate pal

I got to be "arm candy" a role I feel very comfortable with and flirt with two guys instead of one.

The SP motto for life is " More is More."


-- Posted from my iPhone

He even seemed remotely enamoured

Well the camera never lies and this shot looks promising to me... So we had a PDF date the date goes like this....



-- Posted from my iPhone

For me it is an opportunity to interview potential boyfriends

This is Cheekie, he is cool, friendly, funny and wears sparkly shirts with no pants, ah hah, sounds like my type of guy.


-- Posted from my iPhone

PDF playa del fuego- regional burning man for the DC folks

Burning Man is too good to be just once a year so there are mini festivals in different regions where you can pretend you are back at Burning Man, feel the energy and dust off the wig collection.

Jester Jamie and a team of New Yorkers travelled down to a Vietnam Vet camping ground in Baltimore to experience the mini burn.

As the sad clown caught my eye, I thought of Lord Krishna,playing on his flute. What message would he say to us all?

You are your own treasure, you don't need catfood, sparkly gems and pirate ship rides, look into your own heart and see the treasure inside of you, the light that always shines and dance and be merry. For tonight is the night when the Burners celebrate that they made it back from the playa in one piece and they have all reentered back into society and are making a jolly good stab at being ( or pretending to be in many cases) semi-normal till the next party comes.

So dance we did and Krisha's spirit blessed the Disorient room and my sad clown emitted a tiny smile in time for a new dawn.

But somewhere hidden in the crowd of revellers, a clown cried. Did he find his treasure tonight? I guess not, I wondered.

Devyn seemed to be on his own little journey of trance dance, caught in the beat and surrendering to the pulsing energy of the tent.

The Disorient flashing screen was blinking pink and orange.

TheDJ Rada was working the crowd into a frenzy.

The tiny Disorient tent was jammed packed with Porange ( pink and orange - the disorient colors) dancers and pirates.

Britelite caught my eye and said, "Disorient Dancing tent outside."

"Allright, melady Princess, hop and board and let me see what treasure I have for you, OOh AARRRR," he grinned, pulling out a bag of Pirate Booty potato crisps,"enjoy."

"That is it, mouldy old crisps from the shop but I wanted a huge jewelled necklace like Zenya's, this treasure is L.A.M.E., I am off to dance instead, tell Mr Banana the boat is all his."

Mr Banana knew when he was beat as you can not argue with SP logic and he shuffled off back to the dance floor.

"Mr Banana and Captain Jim, is this thing seaworthy and safe do you think? Mr Banana, I think only one rider at a time so go make someone slip on the dance floor so I can try and find a fabby necklace like Zenya's, you don't need jewellery as you are a banana with nowhere to wear it and I am a princess."

Maybe that was not so angelic of me but it was true a necklace would look silly on a banana with no neck.

"SP, swallow the pizza fast, the pirate ship is leaving soon and it is a trip bound for an island of trinkets and treasures, off the coast of Brooklyn."

When we got to the Pizza section of the party, a sculptor artist offered me a "breath of spring", to ease my frazzled nerves, with a sniff of his metal flower.

Disco Underpants and I ran to the Anti Gravity Manner to hide from the fierce Catwoman eating shark.

When the shark saw Zenya, he scarpered off in an instant and who could blame him.

"Pah, I am not afraid of any old shark,"smiled Zenya, "I have been fighting off worse than him all night. Here,Sharkee, Sharkee."

Her black leather waders, silver mesh pirate hat and glorious booty necklace treasure round her neck was quite fetching indeed and I quite fancied a bite of her myself but I went for some wholewheat broccoli pizza instead as it seemed a bit safer. I did not fancy wrestling the shark again quite so soon.

Luckily my playa brother Daniel also known as Disco underpants, tapped the shark on the fin just when he was about to go for my jugular.

"Shary, check out the Russian lady Delectable Zenya,down the hall, she is the tastiest morsel in town, take it from me, the SP is too bony to make much of a supper."