Anyway, pondering the fact that maybe Doggy Rights might be the next big issue for us all, I was walking down St Marks and I decided I may as well buy a pair of fishnet tights as one never knows it may finally get cold next month.

I picked out two great pairs and I made to pay but there was nobody serving in the store at all. How odd, I thought.

Then all of a sudden this little dog appeared from behind the studded belts 25% off box and wuffed at me most kindly,

"Can I help you mam? Would you like to purchse those two articles of hosiery, I think they will look very fetching on you and it is an excellent idea as they are on sale, $5 off if you buy two pairs. $23 please, just pop it in the till. Wuff, thanks."

I was so stunned. Who is training these dogs?Their sales talk is a little wooden and they are a bit pushy but who can say no when a dog serves you. Would he have bit me if I changed my mind? Did this dog take a perfectly able New Yorkers job? Now I am sounding Racist I mean Doggist, gosh it is all a little confusing.

They look very happy to me, what do you think? Will it last? I noticed she was the only one eating, I wonder if they refused to serve Dario at the table?

Gosh maybe doggy rights will be the new It Cause. I think people need a new thing to think about, all this green green green everything can get a bit much. Yes it is October and it is 85 degrees, in Scotland that would be considered a good thing. My whole life I prayed for global warming but it never made it to Scotland and we spent every summer freezing in wooly sweaters praying for global warming but instead all we got was constant downpours. You folks don't realize how lucky you are.

I know, I promised back in August no dogs anymore. I tried, I did, to keep them out the blog. But.....

I was getting complaints by my SP non dog lover followers, who seem to getting overwhelmed and quite distressed by the whole notion that it is not giant ants, Islamic terrorists or global warming that will destroy our world - in fact it is the dogs - who have taken over New York City and are ruling the town and now insist on having their own seat in Chelsea restaurants.

I kid you not. This lady told me she was on a D Date, when I met her.

"What's that?" I enquired politely.

"It is the great new Doggy Date website, have you not seen it. The dogs are so cute and they are way better company than most of the single chumps, I mean chaps, I have been out with recently. This is my date for tonight. He goes by Dashing Dario on his profile. He picked the restaurant and we have had a lot of fun together. The waitress tried to make a fuss when we came in but after Dario tipped her $50 which was hiding in his collar for that very purpose, she really was very nice about it. It just takes a bit of getting used to, that is all. I mean no one blinks an eye any more when they see gay, lesbian, black and white couples, etc so I guess soon everyone will get used to the fact that inter canine/human couples are here to stay. Look,I am happy so what can people say?"

"But I thought it was your first date? Already you are so sure about Dario?" , I asked her.

"He is the first date that listened to everything I said without answering back or making some lowbrow snide comment, he simply wuffs which I take to mean, fascinating tell me more. Also he is so cuddly I can't wait to take him home. He didn't even ask for my number he said he will just follow me home every night so he doesn't need it. It is just easier with Dario."

Oh Mam, I thought to myself, good luck to you. You really are brave. But she has a point, maybe it is easier to have Doggy Dates these days with the scarcity of quality single guys around, we ladies are reduced to desperate measures it seems.

See Ya! Enjoy what is left of August and if you are looking for some real hot sun after Hurricane Dean, you can always follow the SP to her beloved Burning Man Festival out in the Nevada desert.

They already told me there are no dogs, no kittens, no snakes out there and I am totally safe, phew. Thank Goodness. Wow, I need a holiday away from Carmel and his four legged friends. And don't even think about sneaking into my RV , Carmel.

Another great weekend but it is that dreaded hour on a Sunday night which means the three hour commute home to New York on the dreaded chokka LIE (Long Island Expressway) is right around the corner. Thankfully my little Scottish Princess Mobile knows the way home all by herself, just like Herbie. I love the way those nav things you get in new vintage porsche cars these days actually drive for you if you get lost or fall asleep, wonderful invention.

That means snakes are out too so do not even think of trying to get a spot on the blog, Miss Cassandra with the amazing bikini top and python snake. Animals are herewith banned.

"Hey, why do all the dogs have so much fun, just cos I live in Brooklyn and I am a cute kitten not an ugly old fleabitten dog, you think you can miss me out, I am not part of the Hamptons doggy theme or scene, so what. I hang out in the city at the weekend where the really cool folk are and avoid the Hamptons overcrowded restuarants and three hour commute on the LIE.

Look how nice and still I am for the photo, I have potential too you know. I am a star of the Cute Overload blog already so I should totally be in your crumby old blog that hardly anyone even reads anyway."

This animal thing is getting out of hand now. Time for a love story, a war scene, anything but dogs, cats and pigs.

"Sit, Sit. How can I take a good photo of you if you don't sit down nicely for me. oh, Never mind, this will have to do. Try and grab this bone from me, this is what dogs are supposed to eat, those of them who do not have fancy south of France diet ideas and pretensions that is.

I tell you SP readers these dogs do not always make the best blog stars. They just do not keep still for the photo, no matter what you tell them. Down, Down. Stop barking all the polo players are getting upset. This will teach me for letting you sneak in at the end. Who does this wild beast belong to, anybody?

"No I do not have any shrimp cocktail in my handbag, off you go.

You want to be on the blog too.

What makes you such a special Hamptons It Dog from all the throngs of them out there this weekend? Just because you got in to polo does not mean you are guaranteed a spot in my blog, I already did the polo part, now I am writing about the champagne party.

Oh, okay then. Pose nicely at least. Just so you realize, you have disrupted the whole flow and sequence of events you know, we did the polo. You don't care, charming.

Sit, smile. Cheese."

At the Veuve Clicquot party which followed the polo match, the dogs were really outdoing themselves muching on roasted figs with gorgonzola drizzled in balsamic vinegar and minature duck quesadillas.

None of the dogs seemed ready to leave when the party wrapped up at 8pm. In fact most of them were sprawled on the lawn, throwing up.

Not to be outdone by the dogs who seemed to be having a way better time than everyone else and partying much harder, I decided to pick it up a notch myself and drink a little champagne with the lovely Miss Laura, who is also quite fond of a little champagne, simply to catch up with those muts of course.

At this trendy art opening party in Easthampton I met this lovely dog, Lassie, who was enjoying herself considering which cool photograph her master should buy for her.

This is before the shrimp cocktail was served and Lassie was still chirpy and full of beans. Look how focused she is on the art, some people could really learn from this good example, you know who you are those of you who do not even look at the art but simply stand around shmoozing and guzzling free wine and crackers.

But some of the dogs were finding it a little hard to adjust to the hectic night life the Hamptons offers.

"Hey you are at a party Patchy you are supposed to be making friends not sulking in a corner. Don't be shy."

But Patchy was not falling for my charms, he did not feel so hot.

"I feel sick from all the shrimp cocktail leave me alone SP, go back to your shmoozing and flirting. Bleeaahhh...'" he choked.

Not another Saint Tropez diet victim, I thought. Who knew dogs were like sheep, following each other blindly.

Everywhere I went, even parties serving alcahol, were awash with dogs joining in the fun and looking cool.

Hi Carmel, wish you were here!

Oh, that was mean.

Captain Lukas, I did not know dogs are allowed on the boat. Carmel will be very miffed when he finds out he could have come."

" I love my Anya Hindmarch Hamptons Handbag Dog. Look he even comes sailing with me and I do not have to worry about him peeing on the boat or falling in the water. You sit there and enjoy the nice view of Sag Harbor, my designer Doggy chum, pass the wine over would you please,Captain."

The next day I went sailing on Captain Lukas MacGregor sailboat to Shelter Island.

It seemed the dog Hamptons thing had really taken off as trendy girls were now carrying Anya Hindmarch bags with dogs on them as a substitute to having your own dog with you. This handbag dog is more user friendly for busy jet setting gals who have little time to look after a real dog but want to have the It Hamptons Hang Out with Your Dog experience.

Overheard at Bridge Hamptons Polo Match.

"Marshmallow, pay attention, this is a very important moment. Look at Nachos, the number one player go, wow, impressive. He is hot."

No I did not say eat Nachos, and you will make yourself sick if you do not stop guzzling that shrimp cocktail, since when did dogs eat seafood. "

"Miss SP, if you actually read the Saint Tropez diet book instead of flicking through it, you too would know that eating shrimp cocktail makes you slim." Marshmallow retorted licking his chops with a stray shrimp hanging out of his jaws. "Yummy, I love Polo."

"Marshmallow you know as well as me that shrimp cocktail is not kosher and so not allowed, put that down now."

That weekend it seemed the Hamptons was over run with New York dogs being seen in all the right places.

Marshmallow here insisted on going to the polo match as he heard rightly that this was the hot ticket of the day and it is murder to get in, making it all the more cool and desirable. He wore his wristband on his paw so everyone knew he was bona fide.

He didn't even watch the match instead he befriended all the famous polo players and noshed on the gourmet snacks that fell to the ground.

"Why should I move, it is very comfortable here, way better than that decrepid rickety old basket he used to make me sleep in. Plus I get to enjoy the fresh air and I look cool and nice princesses like you make a fuss of me and take my photo and make me famous by putting me in a world famous comedy blog. Hey Carmel, you got the right idea, the Hamptons is the way to go."

Charcoal said busy enjoying himself whilst working on his tan.

I went to a fabulous late night pool party only to find that Charcoal this lovely black dog had also taken up sunbathing on a lounge chair and refused to move. He did not realize you do not tan at night.

Can you believe it, as soon as the dog population in New York heard that not only had Carmel escaped but he was enjoying the life of riley and dining on steak tartare in Southhampton, other dogs took up the craze and yelped and yelped until their masters took them to the Hamptons too.

Holiday reading. Saint Tropez Diet and The Secret.

Carmel confessed to gaining a few pounds whilst in captivity on the roof of the Good Dog hot dog restaurant. However the diet book bored him silly until he saw steak tartare was allowed and it was recommended to spend most of your life in St Tropez or the Hamptons, because as it is so hot there you loose weight easily just by sweating whilst doing nothing but working on your tan. Look at him letting it all hang out at the pool and looking super cool if a tab flabby with his new sun hat and alluring purple Missoni shades.

Whilst on the roof he overheard diners going on about the book called "The Secret." so we had to buy it for him. From what we can make out dipping through the book, if you think of something you make it come to life so it is best to think about getting very rich, and have everyone fall madly in love with you and having the perfect body or anything else you want, then the law of the universe gets it for you as long as you really believe it will. Quite simple really. Carmel wants a lifetime supply of steak tartare and to spend his summers here lounging at the Shapolsky Share House Pool so he will have the perfect body. I want........ well do we have all day? My list is very exhaustive and the universe is keeping very busy hunting for the last pair of Chanel runway size 8 black suede thigh high boots with red piping.

Guess what, my plan worked. Carmel escaped from the hot dog restaurant when Dr Mark put the diners to sleep, as he is an anesthetist and he does that kind of thing every day.

Most of the East Village customers thought they were getting some cool new free drug so no one really put up a struggle even though the gang was ready to ruin our best clothes and set aboot anyone who came in our way.

Anyway as you can see, Carmel and I thought it best if we recuperate from our ordeal at the Shapolsky Share House in Southhampton.

Carmel was so exhausted after being chained to the roof of a restaurant he decided he really did not feel like moving very far from his lounge chair.