That very same night I was on my Thursday night Chelsea art opening trip

One gallery was devoted to magnifcent carved rocking chairs, that one could never ever sit on but would instead take up loads of room in your apartment, especially if they were on a base. None were actually sold, as New Yorkers generally don't have space for non functional furniture.

Walking through Union Square last week I noticed a Gold Man with chains around his neck sleeping on a park bench.

Where had he come from ? An S and M burning man party? A performance art show? A Wizard of Oz reunion? What's with the chains? Was he making a political statement that one should not feel chained to Gold?What went in the gold box, it was empty. Maybe a dig at Wall Street guys? Truthfully I was stumped. I tried to wake him up with a wee nudge but he just kept on snoring away peacefully.

Everyone else in the park seemed totally unfazed by the Sleeping Gold Man. In New York anything goes.

At the end of the parade there was a special reading of a poem

Everyone was very patriotic singing the anthem and holding their hand to their hearts. I confess I don't know the words but I tried to follow along and sing best I could. Must learn the words, put that on my summer reading to do list.

Gosh I didn't think any of them would say yes, now I am in a right pickle.

"Sir, thanks for all you have done for your country but I just dropped the oldest age range to 65, on second thoughts, but good news is my granny is 94 and she is free tonight, all you need to do is hop on the 7.40pm Continental flight from Newark and you will be in Glasgow in time for breakfast."

The car rolled on and the veteran turned to wave at his other supporters, I was forgotten, phew! Oops, must be more clear about these things in case I hurt folks feelings, like I just did.

The 85 year old raised a hand , I got a bite!

"Hello my Princess, thank you for joining us mere golden oldie veterans for our parade and clapping so loudly, and yes yelling hurrah for the veterans are any of you single was a nice touch and first time that ever happened in my 50 years of these parades. Certainly brightened things up, fancy a little sherry tonight whilst watching the sun set, young lady?"

One fun thing about living in America is you get to celebrate all the American holidays free of charge. Nice.

Memorial Day is a chance for us young 'uns to stand and clap for the war veterans as they ride by in the Memorial Day Parade in Sag Harbor on Main Street. By the way every American town has a main street called Main Street, it amazes me that the posties don't get totally confused.

Being Sag Harbor veterans, these old men drive around in vintage red convertables, looking extremely dapper. By the way I extended my age range for suitors from 25 to 85, so all those in the car are quite eligble. ( Contact me privately riders if you want to try your hand with the SP. If you fought in a war then you are definately a Manly Man.)

Vinny the neighbor helps drill holes in the plant pots.

Vinny is our new best friend. He makes us delicious suppers of freshly caught by himself in his own fishing boat, local meaty bluefish in a marinara and olive and potato stew. Now he knows I don't eat olives ( the SP is very ,very fussy as is appropriate for a princess) he will make two stews, one with no olives for me and another with olives for Sandrine. That is what I call a great neighbor! He soon will get used to the SP's ways, everyone does in time or they get beheaded so the learning curve is quite fast, given the alternative.

All the plants are laid out in their chi chi luxury blue glazed pots and yard sale pot treasures

In order to protect the plants from the deer , we were told to sprinkle black pepper corns on them. This we did but how am I supposed to eat my fresh pasta with no pepper, eh? Did you think about that dilemma?

Sandriney is working hard fixing up the garden

Poor thing she is getting so hot and sweaty, working like a banshee.

After a hectic week in New York there is nothing nicer than lounging in a hammock with a pink Indian cotton blanket with elephants on it.

Here I am recuperating in style in Sag Harbor at the Princess Beach Pad.

GM Building - rooftop view

When showing off conference room views this had to be included. How does anyone do any work there I wonder, I would be too busy gazing out the window to do anything if it was me. Any more supreme views will be included for your enjoyment....

Talking of great views this is the view from a GM office building conference room

Let's face it if this is the view from your conference room, you own the world and if you don't you should ! Many of these hedge fund guys and power moguls are spoilt rotten and probably struggle when they leave the office and the views are no longer perfect. I guess that's why they create standing up sleeping braces, they can work longer hours and just pop off to sleep outside the entrance of their offices. Must get a bit lonely though one would think.

Believe it or not the next day I was meeting a hedge fund type guy in his office

This was the view from his conference room. No wonder he didn't want to bother commuting home when this is the view he has. Perfect view of the park.

He wanted a meeting I wanted to stare out the window.

"Were you there all night, outside Macy's with your sleeping standing up brace?" I asked him, nosely.

"That wasn't me," he lied, I totally recognized him and he knew it too." Now please my time is limited can we get back to our meeting and can you pay attention and stop gazing out the window even if it is a $10 million dollar view, you must have seen the park before surely?"

He droned on arrogantly and I tried to focus but when he showed me out he winked at me and asked me in a confidential whisper, "How was Peter Gabriel and the 54 piece New Blood orchestra , I read in the Times the concert was fab."

I knew it was him. But the elevator had arrived so I had to tear myself away from him
and the view.....47 floors later I was back on street level.

I looked up and all over the top of the buildings were his buddies watching he did not go playing hookey with me at Peter Gabriel.

There was lots of frozen men looking down at me from the rooftops of the buildings around the park.

I shouted up at one of them, " Mr Gormley Artman Clone, welcome to NY from the UK. What do you think of the new lib dem guy Nick Klegg, is it, I hear he is the next Obama. I hear he was great on the tv debate you guys had and made the other candidates look very stiff, probably something you can relate to, being a statue and all. Two questions, if you are so good at Mountain Pose are you guys vegetarian statues, as I am finding more and more men who live on a diet of chicken and salad and it is a real turn off.

Secondly when you come down from the roofs of the Madison Square garden office buildings, do you fancy coming to a Jivamukti yoga class and you could show off your mountain pose to some hot yoga chicks like me?"

But no answer was the loud reply. These art men either were very rude or had been told to ignore all advances from forward New York woman like myself and stand still and aloof in their mountain pose, another frozen Buckinghan Palace type non communicator.

Resigned, I trundled off to the concert with an old boyfriend who had called out the blue as he was in town. Enough time wasted on these frozen guys I need a nice friendly chap who answers questions, even if he is not quite as mysterious or cool.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Did you have a long day at work, no need to answer.

I am not inviting you to Peter Gabriel as you look pretty busy perfecting your yoga mountain pose and all your pals are watching you from the rooftops .

You look pretty fit , must be the outdoor life.

He said nothing. Another non communicator, but as he is a statue to start with there was no point in taking it personally this time.

Another frozen man, heepers, jeepers, what's come over this town?

But this guy is really art this time. It is all the Anthony Gormley ( I think) art men who are dotted on the top of buildings all over Madison Square Garden and 23rd Street.

Maybe he is another hedge fund guy who abandoned his briefcase and suit and umbrella to simply stand in yoga mountain pose and just let go. Let go of it all.

Sir, your mountain pose is perfect you are still as a statue , well it probably helps if you start out as a statue. ( Duh).

Here he is from the back

His head, neck are held up, he has a little wooden seat and his legs are supported and best of all an umbrella above his head in case it rains. Is this the new 21st century way of living? If he doesn't need a home he probably has no interest in a girlfriend. Another New Yorker who won't commit. Ah well, I walked off a tad dejected he would not talk to me, but at the same time I understood he was sleeping standing up so a bit too busy to bother with the likes of me.

"Er, excuse me poor tired lad, if you can't face the commute home and I don't blame you, I have a very soft couch not far from here in the East Village

You don't need to sleep on the street, I know things are tough these days but this contraption of yours seems very extreme. Plus you are far too well dressed to plead poverty , you probably run a $4bn fund.

Well at least you seem comfortable, you are suspended in perfect balance and don't need to hold your briefcase it is attached to the brace. You just lean back and let go. How long do you plan on resting at this street corner, I am going to Peter Gabriel at Radio City if you fancy that for a break from having a break ? I am glad your neck is cushioned but what if it rains , do you ever move or try another street corner?

But he was like one of these guards outside Buckingham Palace he was alive but totally frozen and non communicative( actually like many blokes I try to date , but way better dressed.)

Did you ever feel so tired, so drained from a long day at the office, that you just had to STOP

This sexy hot young hedge fund type is NOT a performance artist. He is modelling a special brace that holds you up and enables you to perch on the street with your briefcase and sleep or rest without having to shlep home.

You look at him, hoping he will ask for your number but he perches outside Macys surrounded by Japanese camera men sleeping or totally frozen, maybe meditating, who knows behind these shades. The camera team said he is sleeping and proving a point as rents are so high he can avoid them by this brace as it allows him to sleep on the go! Brillaint. But where does he change, shave or brush his teeth, I want to know.

Homes in Woodstock have SPACE

I met a chap tucking into homemade chilli from Jose's iceream parlor, on the Wiodstock promenade.
"So you quit the ratrace did you?"I asked.
"Yes,"he replied between mouthfulls."Been here 10 years, left Long Island the North Fork to sell window sidings. Real
Estate is cheap and there is room to breathe. Never looked back, except for this time of year when I miss the ocean."
Almost happy but still not quite content, the human condition according to Ekhert.

" Cheer up, Chilli Charlie. See that daffodil, stare at it for ten minutes then tell me how you feel,"I said, unselfishly wanting to share the Ekhert Tolle fast guide to enlightenment with my Chilli Charlie Buddy.

Then my ride back to New York honked so how he fared in the end I will never know but hopefully he got at least a wee bitty enlightened. If not he could least have some solace that he almost beat the rat race, with a few extra breaths of pure air and an extra acre or two.

50 friends from New York,Philly and Brooklyn descended to Woodstock for Spring Festival

It was great to breathe the upstate air, see trees, be in a historic building. Whilst everyone partied, I dipped into Ekhert Tolle's new book, "New Earth". His aim is to help you awaken, detach from the ego and your attachment to things, (does this mean designer label must haves?) and stop be still and be PRESENT.

The first exercise is to look at a flower, by really looking at it you see it's essence which reminds you of your godlike essence and so the enlightenment process begins.

Everyone kept asking me why I was staring at the purple crocus and was I on something? If so, could they have some.
"Look at the flower, the answer to it all is right there,"I replied, quite proud of being on my way to enlightenment in just one extended glance.

Kenzie relaxes after a long day

It is great being an Auntie, as I have all the perks and sleep through the night unlike my poor sister, but with a noggin like this he is worth it. Nephews are the greatest! Don't grow too big too quickly please.

Ok so Mummy Sister is the Pro

She is so organized, she is the Super Mum and together they make the prefect pair. I love this photo of them, he even stopped crying. Ah well I will keep practising at home with my cuddly bears.

Ah,Mummy that is more like it,Mummy knows what I want by just looking at me.

Where is my mummy, I need her now!

Quite a demanding wee thing, just because I don't feed him. It sucks not being his favorite!

Here we are sort of bonding, he is sort of crying

But I know it is nothing to do with anything I said or did, naturally. I do my best to comfort him but even promises our hits have gone up substantially since his photos make little impression, it seems.

"I want to be the youngest ever SP blog star, and start a new Baby Blogger following" , said Kenzie, with an adorable smile.

He is only 7 weeks old but already he is into Facebook, Twitter and now the SP blog.
Technically he can not speak yet but Auntie and he have their own language and we both know this young chappie is destined for great things, the smallest of which is featuring right here on this post, his right by his royal birth!

I did have a word with Big Daddy in Glasgow and he agrees wee Kenzie, he calls him Kenzo, should be a family baby and shared between us all being the very first wee one of the SP clan.

Close up of my beloved nephew

When you stare in his eyes everything else disappears, he is totally mesmerizing. But he lives in London, I wonder how I can kidnap him to New York, I could hide him in my case but if my luggage went missing again for 5 days, I guess I would have a lot of explaining to do to my wee sis. Maybe she will rent him to me, so far I have still to prove my worth by doing something useful other than taking photos of him and blogging about him!

Wish me Mazeltov on the bris of my nephew

Kenzie Grey Noah Wolfson is so adorable, lucky Georgia, my wee sis, had the family baby to share between all three sisters.

We really bonded and I am already madly in love. It is great being an auntie, i haven't changed one nappie and do only the fun parts! Bonding, gurgling, staring into his eyes, holding him when I am allowed.

Once Mark's movie comes out and he is famous, he is driving this car around town.

$2000 a month will lease you this car, but where would you park it, it would probably be on the street for all of 5 minutes before it was gone. New Yorkers have to be practical.

The next gallery wasn't a gallery at all but a showroom for an electric car

In the next painting some couples were in cloud boats in evening attire, whilst the other lonely girls seemed to float eithero on their own cloud boats, suspended in space

Waving a red gloved hand and evening bag, saying "Hey what about me, I fancy being on the boat with him rather than stuck in the sky on my own."

Another blond girl at the bottom of the picture, looked like she wasn't leaving anything to chance and was heading over to the boat with the couple with every intention of leaping on board.

The lady on the boat has her arms spread out as if to say, "Don't even think about it, Lady, this chappie is all mine and I ain't sharing him so buzz off back to cyberspace or wherever it is you actually are. Now Shuu, shuu! Off with you!"

A couple having sex in public under a rotunda

was the optimistic piece of the day. This rotunda seems very hectic and a good place to hang out as anything can happen once you finally make it inside. Walk in, get naked, have sex, walk out. Is this how relationships are to flow? Keep it moving,no time to get attached.

Another sunny day in Nigeria

Sad news of a recent religious massacre over there, makes this photo quite chilling.

The next gallery was showing photos from a very trendy Nigerian artist

These three kids look ready to go to battle themselves if need be.

I was relieved to see in the next picture, the lady was dressed and had decided not to jump.

However, she looks totally fed up, with her arms crossed and her eyes blankly staring out.
What is on her mind? The thought of picking up and starting again or what's next in store for her. Either way she is forever immortalized as a fed up heroine, someone we can relate to ourselves when the chips are down.

This next gallery piece may look like a naked woman relaxing on her window sill

but if you take a second closer look,her expression looks positively glum.

"Mam, don't jump, he was probably a total jerk anyway," I said to the lady in the painting,"breathe some cool night air in, close your eyes and things will look better tomorrow morning. He wasn't a JDate was he?"

This lady looks like a terrorist bride but apparantly she is simply an Iranian lady

Who lives both in Iran and the States and she never feels quite at home in either place, so the gallery owner explained, when I complained that how come even terrorists are getting married but the Scottish Princess can't make it past one date,she apologized on behalf of the artist who had not intended to rub it in at all.

Given the recessionary troubled times

It was no surprise to see the photographs showed couples fighting and tearing their hair out. My thought was well at least they were a couple and had someone to fight with. I like to look on the bright side.

Despite Snowmaggedon we braved 25th Street

This show was our first stop, floating paint squiggles on glass and a painted cube was a great warm up.

March has been a hot month for art in New York

Mark Sklewer and I hit the galleries in Chelsea to see if anything took our fancy.

This was the one shot he took of me

One lousy shot at least it was a decent one. Check out my foxy make up that Roland did for me. Most people at the party said I was their favorite costume and the ones who said nothing are the dopey ones who had not seen the movie yet so it went over their heads.

Three lollipop munchkins won an Oscar too

The photographer spent hours posing those three and took hundreds of shots of them and only two photos of me, I was a bit miffed between you and me.

Sherlock Holmes and a red man monster were also waving the flag

Last week the Scottish Princess attended the Alty Oscars party

We all got a chance to dress up as our favorite movie character.

I went as Fantastic Mr Fox, my favorite film of the year. I had it down to every last detail, including his balaclava, his stolen Farmer Boggis chicken and stolen Farmer Bean's cider as my props.

I entered every competition and finally won my first alt Oscar for runner up as best dressed man!

My friend Roland bought his own handmade Barbie alternative Oscar, this meant he won no matter what anyone said, smart.

Or everyone's favorite Sarah Palin variety

"When abortion is not an option."

This one will probably appeal most to the busy New York professional women like me who would rather do a yoga class than have an abortion.

Or why not try the John McCain condo

Old But Not Expired.

Gosh I hope people don't describe me like that. His two thumbs up giving me the green light to go wild. ( Here's hoping!)


-- Posted from my iPhone

"You can choose between Obama, the Ultimate Stimulus Package..."

He picked up the condom to show me Obama's handsome smiling face on the cover.


-- Posted from my iPhone

"These are souvenir condoms , they are not meant to be used.

They are collectable Obama memorabilia and could be very valuable in a few years time. They also look great on the mantlepiece." He countered.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Times Square Obama Condoms are all the rage

On my way to a View from a Bridge on Wednesday, this man stopped me and begged me to buy a few of his condoms at $5 each.

"But I have loads of condoms at home, many of them dating back to many years ago and all of them unused. Why do I need to depress myself with yet more condoms taking up valuable living space and reminding me of my singledom status?"

At the hottest show in town" A view from the Bridge"

Scarlett Johansenn and Liev Schreiber starring!


-- Posted from my iPhone