Introducing my McCousin Princess Hazel of Hampstead and the Scottish Royal Family's dog Dharma McPoodle, a slimmer and much improved version of the Queen's corgi.

Here we are , walking the wee doggie around the palace grounds, in Frosty Thortonhall, Glasgow for the annual Royal Family Channukah festivities.

Dharma is sporting her very own House of Fraser electric blanket doggie coat which we prefer to keep at a sensible 76 degrees / Medium heat, which keeps her nice and toasty. We don't believe in extravagence. Dharma is doing a fine job of keeping an eye out for fierce invaders or stray snowballs.

My McCousin, Princess Hazel is smiling because she is so happy to be breathing real Scottish fresh air rather than her usual London smog, which is free in Scotland for those who are physically in the country at the time. Reminds me of the time when I tried to import real Scottish fresh air for the sake of my complexion, to New York, a very polluted city badly in need of such a fine thing. I packaged it in large glass containers which I had to hold carefully on my lap as they are very fragile for the full 7 endless hours of the flight. When I arrived, drained and exhausted, the customs folk had the nerve to keep them as they thought they were some mysterious toxic terrorist gas, as if , and I was forced to leave them in Newark. No doubt the folks in Newark are enjoying my fresh air right now, what a waste. 

Why pay membership to a country club? SP attends opening night of Bright Lights, Big City in Philly.
Americans are very resourceful why go to the bother and expense of a good country club or the Hamptons when there is a perfectly good fountain right outside the Philly Museum of Art for bathing for free! He must be a Scotsman.

Mr McTavish and I were in Philly for the first time when he drove me to see the famous Scottish musical writer, Paul Scott Goodman's opening night ( of course) of Bright Lights / Big City. Paul grew up down the road from me in Glasgow and is another Scot who made it in the Big Apple. The show is a must see and canny, smart princesses like me saw it in Philly for $40 before it gets to Broadway and costs $95.
The show is about a man who is a fact checker for Gotham magazine by day and a party animal by night, of course it all goes horribly wrong so go find out for yourself why you should be wary when your best buddy says, "Monstrous events are planned for tonight."

On the way Mr McTavish thought I should see the Andy Wyeth, Memory and Magic show at the Philly Museum of Art, which has themes of loss, death and the passage of time. The star painting, a pair of welly boots strolling along all by themselves, reminded me of home as welly boots are a must in Scotland all year round. Thank Goodness Marc Jacobs made a sexy fake fur patent shimmery green pair last season which put an end to the notion that welly boots are for old foggies.

Poor Andy lost his father, a famous painter, who was run over by a train on these old train tracks in the countryside which everyone thinks have not been used in donkey's years until splat, that is the end of you. NB. That is the death part of the show. A very touching show and Andy did a special painting called Winter, 1946 of a boy (himself perhaps?) running down the very hill where he lost his dad as a memorial. He said, " The hill finally became a portrait of my father. I spent the whole winter on the painting - it was just the one way I could free this horrible feeling that was in me - and yet there was great excitment."Fantastico show and well worth the petrol from New York alone. Go see it for yourself. NB. Gas prices are down again. 

Mr McTavish has a flakey and threatens a walk out ! DADA show is a sell out.

First the good news. MOMA called first thing to say DADA show was a sell out with lines all the way to Seventh Avenue, ( very close to the N/R train) today thanks to my blog!

Now the bad news... Mr McTavish was very, very cross about the sneaky, not so dignified, photo I took of him and threatened to do a walk out if I did not post a better photo of him tout de suite. ( He looks rather Sean Connery in this photo, me thinks ) Who would make my porridge if he went on strike? Trusty and loyal servants are so hard to find these days and now that Bush has eased off on the immigration laws there is no loyalty and Mr McTavish has threatened to skootle off and take care of Paris Hilton instead, as she gets to all the good parties, if I am not super nice to him. So new rules : -

From now on I am to call him by his proper name Mr Hamish B McTavish.

I am not to whine when he can't find the N/R train.

He has to have a double dose of raisens in his porridge for two whole weeks.
( he really milked that bad photo of him) 

Here I am in Jim Goldman's brand new speed boat in Shelter Island, which is the hottest spot in the Hamptons, for those of you who don't know. Try and blag an invite.

Shelter Island is the perfect spot for a Scottish princess to spend a summer weekend. You can bike in the prehistoric Juraissac Park nature reserve, but take a map and don't get lost like I did last time I was there.

You can swim on Sunset Beach, sparkling clean, clear, fantastico water, great for dips. Reminds me of the lovely lochs at home, but watch out for the wee jellyfish late summer who are partial to Scottish princesses. Quick Princess tip for stings- Rub sand and vinegar on the sting, it goes away and you can stop crying.

Great sunsets, so romantic and dramatic with burnt red, flaming orange and sticky sherbert pink clouds, best seen from Jim Goldman's garden whilst sipping a margarita cocktail lovingly prepared by the trusty Zeze. 

Mr McTavish goes sailing in Shelter Island. Silly thing objects to the princess taking a photo of him.

Mr McTavish, is my trusty and loyal manservant and bodyguard. Super nice me, I let him come sailing with me in Shelter Island, the best place in the Hamptons, especially if you stay at Jim Goldman's house where ZeZe makes you fantastico eggs any way you like breakfasts.

He really is quite handsome but is very shy and he got very cross with me, when I took this sneaky photo of him for my blog. Normally he prefers to take photos of his princess rather than be in photos. Who can blame him really? 

Mr McTavish, where is the N/R train? - porridge with no raisens for a week unless you find it pronto.
Here I am after the DADA show at MOMA looking for the N/R train on 54th Street and 7th Avenue, as Mr McTavish did not want my carriage to get wet and claimed it was only one more block five blocks ago.

There is a street fair on and you can eat corn with chilli, banana crepes, frozen fruit juice drinks and fried cheese Mexican corn snacks for $2. Great Scottish value and cheaper than Wendys.

Scottish homesters, that is you Scotties sitting at home on the setee, check out the I love New York plastic bag, can only be purchased right here and well worth the trip- makes a great gift and also very useful as a place for putting loose items. 

Scottish Princess contemplates DADA at MOMA.
Mr Hamish's hands are shaking in fear..............
Poor Mr Hamish's hands were shaking so much from total terror when he took this photo at MOMA at the opening weekend of the show. He thought that the security guard would throw us out and I would make him eat a diet of porridge with no raisens for a week, which I think is a very fair punishment for misdeeds and slip ups.

Sorry you can not see the art but trust me the paintings are great.

Check out Mango shorts and cowboy boots - perfect museum on a rainy day fantastico princess attire. 

DADA - best exhibit -John Heartfield hanging pig soldier.

Mr Hamish, my trusty and loyal manservant, took this picture because I ordered him to and nearly got us thrown out of MOMA. Poor Mr Hamish was shaking that the security guard would catch him but I told him Scottish princesses have special priviledges to calm down. 

DADA fever hits New York at the MOMA. Dada is anti art. Industrial art, pokes fun at the audience, cheeky, irreverant, anti establishment, anti war, surreal in parts and totally fantastico and way ahead of its time. Wee mumsy and I wrote a great DADA essay together when I was at Glasgow university so DADA is very special art movement for me, espeically as Wee Mumsy got an A. This weekend it was real Scottish summer weather- a total downpour. Enough to make me very homesick for the old country - Not. What was a princess to do - cancel her plans for Easthampton and catch up on the latest must see art shows in town of which DADA was number one on my list. The show just opened all the more reason for me to be the first to see it. In the summer all self respecting New Yorkers head to their summer homes by Friday afternoon, Hamptons, Jersey Shore, upstate, some of them even hoof it to Rhode Island, or if you are smart, drive a mere hour to a lake house in Connecticut but with rain forecast all weekend, the beach house is beyond depressing. Fast forward Click as Adam Sandler would say straight to MOMA.(movie was panned - avoid).

The show is divided between DADA in Zurich and DADA in New York. George Grosz , Berlin has some fantastico anti war pictures. The one Mr Bamboozle and I loved was the typical Grosz fat bourgeouis cat with a prostitute in room full of mirrors. Also see Francis Picabia paintings, Max Ernst picture inspired by Georgio De Chirico, the hanging Heartfield Soldier, Hannah Hoch dolls with real boobs and Madonna type bustier, Man Ray early works, especially his famous wooden coathanger hanging mobile - roll over Alexander Calder, and my favorite, GIFT which is an iron with nails sticking out of it. (If Mr Bamboozle ironed my new Prada top with it I would be very cross with him indeed. ) Marcel Duchamp urinal of course and who knew he had a not so famous sister, Sarah Duchamp. Go and see the show for yourself and impress your friends at the beach next weekend. 

Here is a famous scottish sculpture by my auntie Lyn McWolfson, who is a very famous Scottish sculpturist. Here is one of her much adored pieces, created especially for me! And very valuable and expensive and worth adding to your art collection, if you have one.

Entitled " The Scottish Princess's Saturday Night Handbag." 

Here I am strolling around Wee Mumsy's loch on a fine winter afternoon when I went to visit them. I am looking for Nessie who normally does her lengths on the loch about this time. We both love swimming to keep fit! 

Here they are - Big Daddykins and Wee Mumsy walking around one of their private Scottish lochs.

Their crowns are hidden by their "bunnets" , hats which keep their ears warm as many Scots especially Scots royalty are partial to toasty ears when it is bitter and frosty outside. 

Here I am running into the sea on my recent May holiday with weemummsy and bigdaddykins at their very comfy wee highland castle in Herzlia Pituach, which is right by the refreshing lovely sparkling clean sea.

It is a perfect shot as one thing you should know about me is I love water - Scotland is surrounded by water you should know. So I love all things associated with water, like gentle water sports such as swimming, dipping in the sea and splasing around AND I love beautiful sunsets, coming from Scotland there are plenty, everywhere all year. Sometimes they can be hard to find though, when it rains especially.

FACT - I am 73% water ( so are you loyal and trusty readers)

A WEE SECRET ABOUT ME - I love bubble baths filled to the brim with exotic rose potions prepared by my trusty and loyal servant, Mr Bamboozle, more of him later.


  

 
Here I am doing the Highland Fling at the Krishna Das concert at Ananda Ashram in Harriman Monroe a few weeks ago. Only one hour from New York City, it is the perfect place to chill and revitalize and do yoga and even try meditation. The Harve is a handsome, delightful, fantastico Vegetarian chef and always prepares me special extra large portions even when the kitchen is closed. They have a fabulous swimming pool perfect for laps and lounging and the staff at the Ashram make you feel very welcome especially when you have come all the way from Scotland and they serve Wee Johnie his very favorite Scottish oatmeal with raisens for breakfast, we call it Porridge, where I came from. Every evening they have a fire ceremony and when I visit that is my Highland Fling slot as it is a very spiritual and solemn moment, much enhanced by my rigorous and noble highland fling performance, which must be watched in complete silence so I can concentrate on some of the trickier footwork.

The ashram is on a beautiful lake and guess who holidays in the lake when she travels with me - yes Nessie of course! Nessie practices her yoga on a special yoga extra strong yoga platform they built for her next to the lake in case she gets tired. You can take a wee row boat on the lake but watch out for Nessie when she is there as she thinks folks in boats mean "Photo opportunity!" and she may tip the boat over by mistake, as big beasts tend to be a tad clumsy. She is very photogenic like me. Nessie loves pork pies and junk food after her stint on the atkins diet, but do not tell the veggie folks at the ashram as they always serve her huge platefuls of their left over gourmet salads, which she chucks straight in the lake.

Check out the ashram when you can but not too many of you at once as I like it when it is nice and quiet and there is plenty of extra yummy Harvey grub for me. 

  

Hoots Mon! Here I am with my devoted trusty piper, Wee Johnie. Isn't he adorable? He does a fabulous job of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean, a much loved Scottish ballad. We are just going to a fantastico wedding party in London, note my Missoni sparkly princess dress. I find travelling with your own piper so convenient. He guarantees you entry to the best parties, makes a splendid bodyguard and is a good talking point. He does not say much but that is fine as he is not supposed to. And before you ask , he is not wearing anything under his kilt as that is forbidden according to Scottish traditions which I must abide by. 

Good morning loyal and precious subjects, underlings, admirers and potential usurpers,

Six years ago I landed in New York and decided to bring royalty and glorious Scottish traditions over to these American shores. A love of the Hamptons, art, theater and culture, fine foods and lively nightspots with opportunities for exciting adventures of a romantic nature made New York the obvious choice for a Scottish princess.

I settled in the East Village, a place of historical Jewish significance at one time and home to many Yiddush theaters that now make great movie theaters for Jewish producers, so in a round about way keeping the Jewish creative spirit alive but serving a wider audience. As I am a princess keeping myself amused and entertained is a top priority and of great importance. In the East Village, I have the La Mama theater , where Alvin Epstein is doing a phenomenal King Lear performance. Also pop over to PS 122 if it is not too late to see the Spalding Grey show. I prefer going to shows on the opening nights as I love the glamor and buzz of premieres, when I bring Wee Johnie, my trusty piper, isn't he adorable although he is not prone to smiling, everyone is so grateful too and we always make page 6 of the New York Post.