I scrambled out the window thankful for the skinny jeans but regretting my nightly 3 marshmallows and lemon wafer cookies. Almost there, I could see the garden, freedom!

I hid behind a tree. I made it. My white cords had some mud stains but other than that I was none the worse for wear. A bit shaken emotionally. But the ghouls, ghostly laddies and Skellys must find their supper elsewhere tonight. 

I am free! I saw others lining up to go in. I hope they have no traffic offenses. 

Another lad chef in training with a giant axe. Holy Moly!

I see her she is mine. Who needs video games when you can have the real thing. C'mere tasty morsel, broth ingredient, over here!

For a lad he was super aggressive. He obviously did not practice Metta Bravna, LovingKindness.  

My moment had come it was soup or escape. 

Everything was going blurry as my eyes teared up. Where were the other visitors , did they only let one in at a time. Right enough I had not seen any other folks getting their scare on since I entered. I

Woe is me! What is the wee laddie up to? he is coming right at me with a knife and a skull . Yikes! I must hasten oot the windae! Dry your eyes lass, be brave think of Wee Mumsy in the castle at home. 

Hairy passed out from too much booze and broth, they sent me I am the chef in training. Where is that Princess in the maroon leather jacket from Intermix? 

Champ, champ, where is our dinner !

How much longer must we wait!

The diners are ready! 

Hairy, hurry before she escapes, a Skelly chuckled from a blue room just outside.

They were everywhere , everyone was hanging up against me , I hate that. I thought of Tenzin Robert Thurman and Sharon Salzburg from Tibet House and their new book, "Love your Enemies." I guess these hungry diners count as outer enemies. When I saw the chomping teeth I could not wish them well or send them thoughts of Loving Kindness, not a chance. May the ghouls be well , may they be happy, may they live a life of ease. Yes , yes. I know that is what the Dalai Lama would say in these circumstances but I am not quite that evolved yet. 

Ahh an open window. Quick quick princess! Squeeze through. 

Hairy are you asleep, our dinner is climbing out the window. 

Ahh our dinner is here at last. We scoffed up Olde Mother Hubbard, she only gave us 8 servings and now the Houslings want more! Yes! We have our eye on a tastier more curvy younger dish! Har ! Har! Hairy, she is in here all ready at the table. Princess this is a good cause, you will feed many deserving ghouls and Walking Dead Wannabes.

Think of it as a beautiful sacrifice! You had never any luck with the laddies anyway so why go on. Shall we call it a wrap !! 

Hairy in here with the cleaver now before she hoofs it. I am starved and Hubbard was bony and chewy , hardly gourmet fare for a festive holiday , the Princess looks much tastier. 

Don't struggle,it will all be over in a second. 

Gosh, what will become of me and my blog faithfully written for many years for all my loving and loyal subjects. My life flashed before me, it was one failed romance after the next. I can't go yet with no decent happy scenes to send me off to The Promise Land. I looked for an escape route or a Knight to rescue me. Fairy Godmother, anything would do. I knew I had a bad feeling about this place and I was right about that ghastly witch all along. Darn it, one day I will follow my gut instinct but oh no being a Scot I could not leave without my $20 value for my scare. That will learn me, it is all too late now! 

Help! Anyone! Cuddles from PEX ! 

Cor Blimey, it was old Mother Hubbard from Schiavonis right enough, I had heard you got a DWI last week. Poor thing!

All that was left of her was her head and her white hat she wears for hygiene at the deli counter. She looked very cross too at being turned into a broth ingredient and who can blame her as let's call a spade a spade it is not a very nice way to go.  I don't want to be the one to have to tell her family. No way. They make us princesses do these hard jobs as someone has to do it but I am a bit of a giggler and I know it would come out all wrong. 

Well I had seen enough and surely I could not complain that I got a pretty good scare on for my $20. Time for a sharp exit methinks. I just had my hair and nails done and not a snog yet for the night was still young so there is 2 good reasons to avoid being a broth part. I had no wish to follow that poor lady on the chair. No Siree!  

We brought the remains of the broth you love in for you, Dearest Princess. Sit ye down, said a skeleton at the end of the table.

Just as I expected that delicious broth WAS full of body parts! Yuk! A hand, a foot, a bloodstained torso, and two heads, I guess there is no need for a bay leaf! Quite ghastly and to think I had enjoyed the very same broth only moments ago. Quelle horreur!  

The cauldron was boiling away, and it had that look of needing more ingredients. I can only hope the person who had ended up in the soup was not a poor soul who had not paid their parking tickets as they are very vigilant in Sag Harbor and I know traffic offense is treated very seriously. 

I mean a raw brain on the table, could they not have disguised it a bit with some lettuce or wasabi or something. And whose brain was it?

No offense, Houslings, but I am a strict vegetarian, although Scottish smoked salmon with freshly ground pepper and a squeeze of lemon juice is allowed, and I don't eat brains. Is there anything else on offer?

Err I think you forgot to set the table

The long table had an elegant white dining cloth with a lot of wine or was it blood stains. On the table itself was a spider, a lizard, bits of brains and guts, eyeballs, the usual Halloween fare, certainly nothing suitable for a Princess and a vegetarian one at that. 

I did not see any other diners, was I supposed to be eating alone, that's not much fun.  It was more fun stealing the broth outside. 

Welcome to the Dining Room, you are here at last

The old fisherman statue was wrapped with a red string for some reason. It was not exactly enhancing and possibly even unnerving. His expression was one of glum boredom. He seemed to stare vacantly into space. He looked like he had lived through one to many Haunted House transformations and it had all got quite simply old. 

"Princess of Scotland or whatever you call yourself, please sit down. You are late as usual and we are all gathered and ready and it is that time now. Your place is naturally at the head of the table."

Wow, I thought they never said dinner was included in the $20 scare price. Things must have got competitive in the Halloween activity sphere in Sag Harbor and now they are throwing in dinner as part of the experience. Nice touch. I for one will never refuse a Free Lunch, despite what they say. I hope they are serving the ghoulish broth, a second portion will surely heat me up and warm my cockles after all the shenanigans with the Bodiless One outside and his ne'er do well cronies.

Come Princess to the Dining Room, all the Houslings are clanging their forks in readiness

Meet Aunty Mabel, she has been playing the same three notes for years.

You too will soon learn to appreciate
Her doleful ditty.

"Finally dinner is here. Let me sharpen my knives.

Princess, you look a tad skinny. I hope you have not been dieting, we have a lot of mouths to feed here and the thought of blue blood has all the household licking their lips."

"Who me, dieting? Not on your nelly. It is the rag and bone skinny jeans, in your days the women wore corsets, today skinny jeans hide a lot of evils. But why such an interest in my diet? It is nice to show an interest in what I eat, but no need to worry about me I have a reservation at 9 pm and will be stuffing my face about 9.05pm. Now Hairy One, no need to grab me so tightly I know you are excited for me to meet the other " Houslings" as they seem to be called . But must you grip my hand so fiercely?

SP , leave grandpa alone. He is stuffed after his supper.

Follow me please. Forgive my nightgown stains, just a few leftovers from our tasty dinner.

Well young lassie, did you have very raw steak as that looks like blood stains on your gown? And you are awful peely wally, pale. Staying up too late? Homework , Netflicks ? Facebook ? A lovely girl like you needs her beauty sleep. I hope grandma is not giving you too many chores.

Chores! Humph ! My main chore is catching, I mean, preparing supper .
Come and meet Hairy Harry. He is one of our cooks here.

Gramps was slumped in a chair. But he was not snoring.

He looked quite out of it , I can't imagine my screams would bother him, he is too far gone himself. I gave him a smile but he remain slumped. I guess he over ate.

"Good evening Madame Witch, may I mention your black gown and just got out of bed hairdo are very fetching.

Thank you for the gracious welcome. I am of course a little hungry but it is nothing a roasted eggplant and mozzarella pasta down the road can't handle. I do look forward to meeting the Houselings. Where should I start?"

"First is grandpa. He is sleeping soundly as he always does, after his delicious dinner tonight. Please try not to wake him. If you do scream as you go through the house, keep the volume down as he is a light sleeper and gets very testy if woken unnecessarily."

"Ssshhhhhh.... There he is at his chair, dear thing."

As I tentatively opened the door to the Whaling Museum haunted house, my hands were shaking.

What evil, foul, bad breath, half dead zombies were awaiting me?
I did not have to long to wait for the first creature. A ghastly, manky grey haired witch floated down the bannister.
"Welcome dearest Princess. The Haunted Houselings have been eagerly waiting your arrival, the fateful night has come at last. I do hope you are hungry. Word is you have a penchant for the Bodiless One's soup, divine , isn't it? The good news is we have more tasty surprises in store for you . Hopefully you did not spoil your appetite outside. HAR ! HAR!"

Hmmmm..... I mean of course one always likes a decent welcome, but the witch's words had a sinister, fishy undertone I did not quite like. I mean of course I was hungry, as basically I am permanently hungry and live from meal to meal. When I am eating one meal, I am busy planning the next. Isn't everyone like that? Yes, I enjoyed the broth or you could say I survived the broth unscathed. But what did she mean? Was she planning to hijack my dinner reservation at Tutto? Or join me? I can't imagine an evil witch at your table would encourage handsome strange men who also happened to be eating at your restaurant to befriend you , never mind try and take you home if they saw that was the company you keep. Despite these misgivings the Princess kept her cool.



"

" How do you like the show so far! Pretty good. Pretty, pretty good."

Do you think I could be the next Larry David, all the others want Walking Dead and Game of Thrones , but I am a Ladykiller , suave, sophisticated,love a good Cheateau Neuf de Pape. I want to star in Curb, help me too, I will even get you a spoon for your broth and you can come as my date to our Hamptons Cauldron Soup After Party,quite a riot so it is."

"What a kind offer,Sweet Statue. I will surely think it over as I walk around.
Let me hasten inside now, Dear one."

Who is to say he wasn't eyeing my limbs for his soup. He wants to kidnap me and pop me in the magimix. Well you can't be too sure. I wasn't chancing it , sweet talker or not. Yes it was my best offer for the night thus far but the night was still young with more thrills inside no doubt and creatures to meet.

He always misses his target, that one. He tries to knock my head off every night, always misses.

So glad you enjoyed our little broth, fit for a princess. Let's see if any powers are bestowed upon you. Good luck lass. Now move along please or none of the rest of us will get to our own helpings if you are here all night.

I dropped the twig with a dramatic flourish. Fear not, I have a reservation at Tutto, your soup is safe.

However the soup thing had such a hype I really was dying to try this ghoulish concoction, what if it gave me magic powers and I could make any man I saw fall madly in love with me with just one wink? This might be what has held me back all these years - lack of supernatural powers. If I missed the chance I might regret it. Be brave SP! Distract the Soup Protector and all could be yours!
Oh Ghoul, the Bodiless One asked that you scratch his nose, he really has the most annoying itch. Please help the poor thing.( the old ones are the best, everyone falls for the itch ploy.) He is just back there, writhing in agony.
Well the Ghoul turned around to help his buddy, and quick as a flash, I picked up the twig and dipped it in the cauldron and tasted the soup. It was delicious, such a unique flavor , the pigeon claw gave it a je ne sais quio aftertaste , divine! So fast I dipped the twig in and had another taste. Quite the best broth ever. So smoky. I was licking my lips when you know who turned round , realizing by now that the Bodiless One had no need of a scratch at all.
"You dare to eat our soup! After all that was said! Well I will roast you in hell and add your limbs to the next batch!" He tried to punch me , but he missed. I dodged out the way and ran towards the house. No soup was worth being turned into an ingredient Yourself. Although I am sure I would have made a fine soup, I had still to get my $20 scare on.