Three violinists serenaded our prayers with joyous hebrew tunes

In the Shul of New York, Rabbi Burt Seigal believes Shul should be a joyous time, even Yom Kippur. When we repent we are to repent not being the best person we could have been at all times. Also we are not to be hard on ourselves and relax knowing Him( or Her) up there will forgive us. Works for me. In the US things are more laid back in general, one of the reasons I moved here!

Happy 5772 to all the Jewish Mensches and Princesses who follow the blog

Here I am, as a London Facebook friend pointed out, in the cheap seats, in the Angel Orensz synagogue on Norfolk Street, deep in the lower East Side. For Kol Nidre night many Jews like to make a showing to ensure a last minute guarantee entry to The Book of Life. If you get omitted or knocked out the book, who knows if you will see 5773, better not to take a chance.

I had ten days to get my apologies in before Yom Kippur. I had been told at Romemu by Rabbi David in his booklet that the apologies had to be heartfelt.
In saying that in all my years on earth, I do not remember one person ever apologizing to me. Noch! I thought about apologizing to the dopey bloke who broke my heart over a trivial nothing, for upsetting him to the point that he ended it. But should he not apologize to me, he skipped off scot free, whilst I wailed and sobbed for many a long night. If I apologize he would think me nuts and a stalker no doubt. So best left alone rather than compound damage. I settled on a nice note to my ex husband , not quite an apology but a heartfelt wish that he had a good year. I did not hear a squeak back, I never do, and maybe that is why we split. Still I had done something to ease my way into the fast and hopefully into His Allmighty's good Books or rather Book.

I asked my girlfriend to see if she could sneak it out as her dress was more billowy than my Dianne Von Furstenburg sheath thing that I had to fast for two days to wear.

Why not let her be the art thief and I can enjoy freedom a bit longer , maybe get a few more snogs in if I am lucky.

Sandrine just give the piece a wee shoogle, how easily does it come off the wall? Everyone's schmoozing and dancing and Banksy is guffawing with fawning art groupies and Hamptons hipsters. I will help you, slip it under your white Grecian summer gown,the folds will surely hide it,we will make a run for it. Go on, dare you!!

SP , you have great taste but this piece is 6 feet at least and will not fit under my dress no matter how " billowy" it is. I know how badly you want it, but would you not get tired of seeing coppers snogging every day on the Chateau wall when you yourself has no action whatsoever barring a few snogs on the playa and do they really count if they are not stepping up to become your NY Mr Right?

No, I won't do your dirty work for you as I hear life in prison is a little rustic and they might not let me take Devi my dog although I am sure all the lady prisoners would love a free makeover.( She is a world famous make up artist with a cute dog, who rarely leaver her side).

SP be content with photos of the art and go home and get a good nights sleep , my friends are all going to the American Hotel now for drinks, as am I, sans Banksy piece under my clothing, so get a grip, SP. You really are loosing your marbles, everyone says it and now I can confirm it. Wait till I tell my pals your latest art ruse, dopey thing!

She tapped the piece a few times for good measure, as if to impress it's most firm stuckness to the wall.

I sighed. Honestly no one obeys orders like they used to. My options had run dry and the coffers did not run to a spare $300k.

Defeat. She had a point though, who wants to see other folks especially policemen happily snogging away like there is no tomorrow when you yourself have not a snog option in sight, I might have ended up flinging custard pies at the smug coppers in jealousy and Banksy would probably have confiscated the piece back to keep it out of harms way.

As I was leaving I reached out to the Coppers Snogging piece and gave it a tap.

How well was it stuck to the wall? Would it really be noticed if it slipped under my DVF party dress. Wasn't I due some recompense after all those insults.

Yes I was considering life as an art thief for an instant, but really life without my gourmet vegetarian chef, maid, and personal stylist was not so appealing. I bet they don't make lemon spaghetti as a dinner entree in Prison.

That doggy piece as you call it runs for $300k

You Princess must be stark raving bonkers. I see you love my work but sell a few more blog posts first, daft lassie., ha ha blog posts are free! You can't afford the red dot let alone painting!

Now, that was below the belt. Feisty thing old Banksy turned out to be.

He stormed off and was surrounded by fawning admirers instantly as tends to happen to famous artists. So I never got my Banksy piece. He should be grateful for all my free publicity in this here blog, that should have been worth a free painting, a small one even, a scribble, something.

I danced into the crowd pretending to be totally unbothered by our interchange but inside I was miffed, how does he know I hardly get a snog, he must have inside connections somewhere.

I really did love his art and thought about trying to smuggle one out but they were too big and well glued to the walls. They probably anticipated someone might try lifting one. Rotters.

I am out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

Banksy, such an honor to meet you. I am a huge fan. $250k is nothing for such great work and I do have a few gaps on SP chateau walls as Wee Mumsy is redecorating. But first let me correct you, since I now have returned from Burning Man, I have had 5 good snogs, not all of them fabulously good but one was, so you can't be casting these denigrations on my character. Before BM there was a gap but three years, not five. The chalk board which I got gifted did help as I got to pick my own message on the board and I wrote " Kiss Me." thinking I might as well cut to the chase and several of the more drunken burners obliged. It was also an order for those that were waivering.

Re my thoughts on your work let's ask the coopers and apes what they think and let them decide who is right.

This rat piece is obviously you as it is carrying a paint brush, big giveaway and I know you like rats as they come out and do their business at night like you!

Now you have confessed you would rather lounge around in bed in your pj's than go and work, so perhaps you should take a closer look at yourself before you tank into me. Ok so you still have a great new show even if you probably painted it in your jammies. I only have sporadic blog posts but I don't mind getting dressed in the morning , sounds like we are quits.

How about the monkey piece for $20 and I will forget about the attempted mean,unnecessary, cruel and vindictive comments on my lack of action of late, well before BM and I won't throw you in jail for SP Slagging, carries 5 year hard labor.

Ok I will go to $30 if you insist but will you throw in the doggy wall piece, please? I will take the rat one too for a round $50!

A few of you may have noticed that Planet of the Apes is having a second coming, and is all the rage, with some decent reviews even.

Banksy obviously smartly anticipated this and timed his show with the movie opening so giving the old apes another 15 minutes of fame. They must have paid him well. He sure knows how to garner publicity in fact I am hiring him to do my PR, if I could ever find him. Being a night time graffiti artist he is not the easiest to track down.

"Oy, you Irish Fairie Queen or whatever you call yourself , since when did you get the right to give all this commentary on my art. Everything you have written so far is a load of old tosh. I mean everyone has a right to make a stab on what my message is but you act as if you own my paintings the way you go on. Bye the way you are welcome to buy them, they are only $250k each, just a tad more than the porridge chairs you avoided paying for. You are royalty so it should be nothing for you. Those coppers are not snogging for glee just because they read your stupid blog or Facebook post or tweet, they are snogging because they felt like it, that's all. It is pretty obvious that being so snog deprived for so many years yourself you got carried away when you saw my piece and rambled on. So enough of the art interpretation , please give us all a break. You would be better off trying to snog someone at my opening or if you love my work buy one. I will give you the artist price."

Wow, it was Banksy himself , who knew he even cared about me or what I write, it is obvious he is a secret blog fan but daren't admit it, getting my name confused, I don't fall for that old chestnut. All this passive aggressive slagging means he loves me really.

Listen and watch how I handle this folks .....

After kissing they started dancing!

People were so jubilant to see this new face of the armed forces, who can blame them. Maybe the world is really shifting.

Ps you got first wind of it here on my blog.

Gosh this snogging is contagious

Banksy US fans started kissing and cuddling in the middle of the show in sympathy of the police coming out! Cool!

I wish someone would have grabbed me but nothing.

The new police are super friendly and have a smily face and wings.

The coppers are our friends , nothing to fear anymore.

Banksy was so nice taking up valuable wall space showing us a much sweeter side of the police force. Who knew! They really should send him a thank you note at the very least. Or put him in charge of their PR.

Oh me oh my, bobbies kissing

Well after HRH took off to Vac A and I took charge by punishing the looters with some compulsory SP blog reading,one critique per post required, it seems like everybody just got inspired, even the coppers who were supervising the reading groups and probably had a sneaky wee read themselves, and one and all decided to go a bit wild and let their true selves out in celebration of self expression.

Check this out - Banksy the famous UK street artist new piece shows two coppers having a snog in his new show in a disused factory space in Southampton.

Oh,la la!

Now the coppers are generally closed type of folks and this new flamboyant display of their sensuality was quite shocking to many of us as we expect the bobbies to be hitting us with their truncheons rather than kidding. Maybe all the looting was quite exciting a bit of action at last and that prompted the snog.

Or they started reading my blog and felt so bad about my single state and lack of ability to find the Skelly's Leader's Lair, that they started kissing to cheer themselves up.

Or maybe they were bored when the looting stopped and they had to go back to the humdrum catching people for speeding or rescuing cats from trees or whatever they do all day to keep themselves busy.

Banksy caught them at it and now you can see in the UK well things they are a'changing! Be free, do what you want! Don't get in our way. We will snog if we want leave us in peace.

I like this new sexy spirit which considering all the possible reasons was most probably inspired by my blog. Good job Banksy for catching it so fast and showing the closeted US folks what is really going on back at the ranch in the Smoochy UK.

Last week I was biking home from work when I saw this poster on 5th Avenue and 15th Street.

SOS - save our streets oh dear Princess. All is forgiven for being more popular than me.

Yes it was Wills and his bride, thingymig,( how soon we forget across the pond, Katherine I think) or was it HRH and her hubby, the animal disguise was so good, I was struggling to see who it was. Closer look, the kitten's hat was surely more Mumsy's style.

The Royal She who is the only one with higher status than moi, would never let her own LLS know she was asking for help from Little Old Me, but I know her well enough to read a sure sign by now.

They were making their fast getaway in a mini dressed as their pets hoping no one would notice they had no intention whatsoever of staying behind to clear up the mess in Croydon - or any other looting locations.

Naturally they wanted everything sorted out and back to normal by the time they got back from their Vac A as they call it here, so hence I was summoned. Nearly crashed my bike when I saw this.

Look you looters, you are giving the rest of us a bad name. Go home with your new iPads and google Scottish Princess , you will forget your grumbles and have a good laugh instead.
Community Service can be ten hours a day blog reading and helping me turn it into a movie. That should turn you all into law abiding citizens in no time. Disunited Kingdom today -laughing over a plate of steaming hot porridge tomorrow. There that was easy! Enjoy your Vac A , Mumsy, don't hesitate to reach out if there are any other problems back at the ranch.

This duck looks like a great new mode of transport

I love in Harry Potter the way they jump on dinosaurs and ferocious winged creatures and are sped to safety!

Hello Lucky Ducky, so sad all alone, let's fly away on an adventure together , what do do you say, I don't weigh much, well not a colossal amount. Would you like a little ricecake?

August 4th is Scottish Princess Day! It is my birthday today, hurrah.

This is me as a Bonny wee lassie in sunny Glasgow, even as a babe I insisted on designer cashmere. I never lowered the standards I am pleased to say.

As you can see even as a wee bairn I was alert and keeping a keen eye out for hostile invaders and the like. In those days the Skellys were safely underground and were simply plotting their evil takeover.

Tonight 55 loving and loyal subjects will descend on the SP pad to pay homage and deliver their expensive gifts. Any one coming empty-handed should return next year or do some quick gift shopping on their smart phone.

I wish I could say another year older another year wiser. But no amount of 5 Rhythm dancing seems to have knocked sense into me so I will guess I will stumble on or as Bob Dylan says, "Keep on keeping on."

My one prayer is for my prince to find me this year and for all my single friends the same.

So a night off from the Skellys unless they show up uninvited at the party.

Down with Batwings! She roared!

Wow this lass sure is a feisty one, just what we need to ramp up the stakes. Skellys beware, Jena is on it!

Looking for a Skelly Hunter, count me in lass.

Oh what great news! The New York Diva Jena La Flamme just came on board. She will go through the Skellys diet and get them off batwings and on a raw pure vegan diet! That will soon get them retreating underground forever , thanks Jena. You look super sexy too! This will encourage more folks to join us for sure!

Given my huge task of saving the world alone, I had better look sexy while I am at it.

To this end Wheylan Playa Couture designer created this Super SP garb!

Here I am modeling it at the pool at Pex Summer festival. Ok now I look the part, I am ready to start the hunt.

Here Skelly Welly, come to Mama.....

You will live forever

Another Skelly Art piece at the Hamptons Art Fair, this is what they say when they entice you to join their gang.

The smart retort is,"Who wants to live forever if life is simply preparing batwing souffles and washing grimy blankets. Keep eternity, Skellywag! har de har! You don't fool me!".

If you ever hear this don't be tempted, a forever lifetime of slavery is no fun, better to die young and free I say.

Another Skelly Fashionista

Only last night at Lyki Li summer stage central park concert, a fan was proudly parading this t-shirt.

No amount of coaxing would prevail her to burn it either. Ah well.

Why do I have to do everything myself?

This picture says it all. There is a whole world of smart, brilliant, brave people out there and yet it seems like only me is fighting the Skellys and I have to save the whole world single handedly when I would much rather be having a simple manicure.

Ok so Granny Glasgow knocked out two but that still leaves many thousands to go.

It seems everywhere I look people are wearing Skelly Logos and loving it, dopes!

I heard from a reliable source, one of my most loyal and loving subjects from Caledonia, that those that wear the Skelly Face logo are actually Skellys in disguise with human body masks. A hideous thought.

I will keep you posted. Returning to my investigations now.

Badly in need of help, all interested parties may apply here for the War of the Worlds 2, Battle of the Skellys.