The Meso Christo tent across the pond is the late night dancing destination

Crossing the bridge can be tricky watch out.

All night dancing takes place both in the Pavilion

Pictured here at dawn

The Pex Pool People Soup simply gets hotter

A Pex tradition is to try and cram as many folk as possible into one tiny pool. By Sunday the pool was less than sparkling.

From New Orleans to the Burning Man Pex Summer Festival, Ramblewood Maryland

Time to transplant myself with the peeps and have some Pexunions, reunions with Pex festival goers from last year. Good afternoon all my LLS!

I see it now, The Scottish Princess Voodoo Store, my name in lights at last.

I will become famous and live in New Orlins and eat Crawfish Monica for breakfast and dinner every day. Life would be so simple. All the girls who moan about the latest jerk that dumped them could frcome straight to me. We sort them out.

"SP , what about your yoga and karma and being kind sto others,"Aileen was quite concerned at the new punishing me. "Book yourself in for ten double sessions at the Freudian Institute in
the West Village, I think you lost it. Too many crawfish enchiladas have gone to your brain,lass."

"I am on holiday and I just came up with a brilliant new business idea! Leave it out with the morality lecture. Hortense and I are going to rake it in. Come to think of it, you must have some crappy mean exes yourself , think back hard."
Hortense and I had really bonded, as long as she did not ask for my photo!

Come on we have a show to catch . She dragged me out before I had some more brilliant ideas involving voodoo punishments.

Come back any time, smiled the old lady who ran the voodoo shop.

Thanks for the great idea of bring a photo and turn any problem maker into a voodoo doll, business has been slow since Katrina, we need a new marketing angle and I wanted to get into social media. I feel this idea has great potential those dolls look a bit scabby,ratty and impersonal, time to modernize !

On the way home we passed a real voodoo shop in the French Quarter

Spells, potions, dolls of course. I enquired about making a voodoo doll at the desk from pictures of some of my less successful exes. They said nobody had thought of that but if I left the pictures here and $100 per doll, I could come back tomorrow and have some new dolls to play with.

Hhhmmmm , not sure my exes are worth $100 each, that money could be better spent on my hotel bill, which was adding up fast as I like trying all the Creole dishes in room service.

Maybe not, though give me your card in case I get any grief from future exes and I can let potential boyfriends know behave or face voodoo calamities ! That will teach them to split the bill! Ha!

Go easy on the crawfish extravaganza my friend warned. They are not remotely kosher. Your poor dad would faint.

Well you know what they saw, I countered, what you don't know doesn't hurt you. Ha! With that I took another bite of the Crawfish Diana, a Paella dish and gave a large burp. A crawfish leg poking out the corner of my mouth.

"Some vegetarian you turned out to be ," moaned Aileen.

"Ach, leave me alone, I am enjoying myself. Pass me the hot sauce please! Who knew New Orlin's was so fun.

There was so many crawfish delicacies I was ready to try them all

Crawfish Etrouphe, crawfish Monica a creamy pasta dish, crawfish enchilada , crawfish paella .... The list was endless.

At Tipitina's Downtown we pondered the celestial message in between songs.

"Kind of a drag, I was hoping to do Al Green Sunday and catch last flight home, but if meditation has taught me anything, it is never ignore a celestial message and she did get the Omni hotel right. She must be on to something."
We danced through the songs but my mind was one of unease.

"Come closer," the angel beckoned.

I was puzzled but stood as close as possible. What was the celestial word?

"You must return home quickly. Do not stay an extra night for Al Green, your life depends on it." She cautioned me in a stern, angelic whisper. "Go hence to the Omni and pack your bag."

Across the gallery I felt a presence calling me.

Another angel sculpture seemed to be beckoning me towards her.
"Maybe she has a message from Jesus and he is not too chuffed that as soon as you leave the gospel tent he is instantly forgotten.", I suggested to my pal.

In between live gigs we popped into a gallery and stumbled upon a beautiful angel sculpture.

"Do you think she has a message for us?" asked Aileen,"she is so beautiful and strange."

I think he will understand as long as your heart is still true, I advised.

"Great relief, I was unsure how our dating life would be, I mean we would have to keep avoiding all his followers across the globe.

Do you think Jesus would be upset if we traded him for a live hot sax player?

Aileen was not wanting to cause offense to "The King of Men."
Hours at the Gospel Tent had turned her into a diehard fan.

We were both swept into the vibe

The brass sax penetrated through to your very soul.

At the Blue Nile the atmosphere was hopping

Everyone was diggin' the scene.

Strolling around the French Quarter on a balmy night was very relaxing

The streets were filled with different music from every bar. People seemed happy and focused on partying hard.

One fairy looked like she had slightly overdone it at jazzfest.

She looked sozzled and dehydrated from the sun. Little did I know what was to befall me only a night later.

Hidden at the back of gallery was a collection of fairies in jars

The fairies were dressed very elegantly and looked ready for a night out.

That night I explored the hidden grottos of the French Quarter

There was strict instructions, no photography, which I of course ignored, as these type of bans do not apply to royalty.

Well being of the Spoilt Princess Ilk we decided that the Pedicab was the smart option

Trundling through the streets of N'Orlins on the pedicab was worth every penny and we decided to book him for fast escape route every night.
I even had time for a post festival hotel pool dip after all.

No one told us it was impossible to get back to your hotel once the music ends at 7pm

It was total mayhem as thousands streamed out of the festival ground. We were desperate for a rooftop swim at the Omni Hotel back in The French Quarter, but not a cab in sight and the buses back were full, full, full.

"Eek, we are stranded. Any ideas? " I asked my buddy, Highland Fling.

"Zilcho. Hitching a ride, go ask that man in the white van if he is going near the French Quarter."

But no joy. Suddenly a night in Shining Armor appeared.

"Pedicab, best way to travel! Only $60 back to your hotel and you can travel in comfort and style."

A must see he told us was the artist memorial stones of the previous festival greats

Each one had their own story.

At Gomez we met a new friend who was sharing tips on best of for the fest

Instantly Jesus was forgotten.

It was a tad overwhelming, a huge racetrack filled with music acts, where should one go?

I closed my eyes, spun round and my finger pointed to Gomez at Gentilly Tent.

The clapping and smiling was contagious

Here is Madame Aileen, totally in rapture. She got the Jesus bug real bad real quick.

"Don't you think we should check out the other tents, Aileen, Jesus is here right through the weekend, so let's explore, I am sure he will understand."

All the gospel singers, both men and women, were in such rapture over Jesus, we wanted in on the action.

I was a bit concerned Big McDaddy might not approve of my new love, but Jesus was Jewish after all, he could not fault him on that account. The carpenter profession not so great but as the Son of God, one would think that would give you an instant walk in anywhere on Wall Street.

It was a life changing experience

In the Gospel Tent, we realized that the Man we had been waiting for all our life was actually Jesus! Who knew!

New Orleans Jazz Fest

A life long ambition was being fulfilled, we were at the best music festival in the world.

My dear SP, we have over patronized the art scene, it is time to brush up on the musical scene, said Aileen

Aileen, who has taken on the role of arts coordinator for the SP, decided that my arts intake portfolio was too overly subscribed to painting and it needed to be balanced with music, so next thing we had plumped ourselves in New Orleans for jazz fest.

Being a princess herself , Desiree takes entertaining very seriously and no expense had been spared

One of the best things about hopping back across the pond is that your old friends often spoil you and who am
I to complain ? Her table looked so perfect no one wanted to touch a thing.

Talking of tea, we are late for Desiree's tea party

Desiree had laid out a magnificent spread including home made meringues. Raphael gave us a special welcome after his cello solo.

At the Hayward , a tiny little man stood outside the gallery, with no umbrella.

Kenzie wanted to move him out the rain, but my sister said, "He is art and one must suffer for one's art, so he must stay where he is. So when you grow up, don't be a sculpture, the hours are long, the pay is low and the work conditions tough."
My sister wisely never misses a chance to give a life lesson to her son.

Big Ben was imposing in the rain for sure

But once we looked at it out the car window for two minutes, everyone seemed ready to move on.

It was a rainy Sunday in London

People were rushing past The London Eye , instead of waiting to go on it.
"Want to go up on the Eye today," I offered , no lines, first time ever."

But everyone shook their head. "Too dreich, ( Scottish for miserable), we wouldn't see a thing," my wee sister moaned. "Let's go see Big Ben instead and we can teach Kenzie to tell the time."

Aunty wanted a cup of tea, don't be too harsh on her, said my Sis

Sometimes tea takes precedence over the revolution. Here we are eating noodles by the Hayward Gallery, if a man ran out and said ," Hurry you must lead an important revolution right now, you would say hold on, I must finish these delicious noodles first, right son?"

You should have done the sit in at Mary Boone, you scaredy cat! Ya big woose!

A week later I was in London, visiting my adorable wee nephew Kenzie.

Needless to say he was not impressed at my half assed commitment to the global world struggle.

"You are not supposed to be on my case about this type of thing, you are two years old. What about hi Aunty Princess, thanks for my new Richard Scary book, Go Cat Go. Or you look so very beautiful most adored Auntie, I have missed you painfully every second of every day, thank goodness you are back on London soil. Not even a hello do I get? Wee sis, must you disparage me to a two year old. His criticism is most wounding. All the gallery hopping had tired us out. A cup of tea was unanimously agreed upon to be the best course of action after seeing Debuffet and Ai Wei Wei in one go. One must absorb the art."

Here I am smiling at my new Self , Political Blogger Extraordinaire

We can do an Occupy Mary Boone Gallery Chelsea Sit in. We will not budge at 6pm when the gallery is supposed to shut, all the global news will be about us and Ai Wei Wei will thank us for making his art piece even more famous. Together we will put our tongue out at the Chinese government.
Gosh, I hope they don't put me in a Chinese prison, I hear they have no wifi, the curtains don't match and the menu is unsuitable for vegetarians.
Gulp!

"Cup of tea," said Aileen.
"I thought you'd never ask." I replied. So out we trooped at 5.35pm , a good half hour before closing time.
Ah well so I won't be making the news with my gallery sit in. Good to know my limitations. I will just have to leave the hard core radical stuff to the experts.

I hope Ai Wei Wei is not too disappointed. Damien Hirst is probably relieved , he would have wanted the sit in at the Gagosian no doubt. Except the Dots are not meant to suggest oppressed people so that would not have worked.

As a group the sunflower seeds looked very much like a large assemblage of sunflower seeds.

"Oh," I said,"of course I deeply resonate with the message here, I totally get it. Brilliant , Ai Wei Wei does it again, he never disappoints."

They were quite beautiful just as they were, but now that the guard had told us the whole in depth biting political message, the piece was transformed to something radical and exciting.

Ai Wei Wei said himself, "There are no sports greater than throwing stones at a dictatorship," now he could change that to "throwing sunflower seeds at a dictatorship". Nice.

He continues," ... or as exciting as the gang-fight style of the digital world."

This blog counts, here I am a humble Scottish Princess of poor Glaswegian origins, taking up the cause of the million oppressed Chinese right here in this blog, doing my bit in the " gang-fight style of the digital world."

Oh boy, who needs guys when you can join ranks with Ai Wei Wei, world class artist! Boy did I feel good about myself.

I reached down to the floor

Were the sunflower seeds edible? I was about to touch one , when the guard rushed over and said, "Eh, Do not touch, eat or spit out the art. Back off Missus."

He must have had some Israelis visiting the gallery. They are big eaters of sunflower seeds and drop the shells everywhere.

"These sunflower seeds are individually carved in precious materials by individually oppressed folk from China. As a group they represented the united downtrodden people of China. This art is made by The 99%. This Sunflower Seed piece makes a very important political statement . Didn't you read the one page description sheet?"

And so we gallery hopped to Mary Boone for Ai Wei Wei Sunflowers

This was the climax show for me. Thousands of sunflowers laid out on a big square.

Girls, Girls, that Monkey Head may not look riveting but trust me walk NOT away.

The Sleeping Swimmer opened her eyes for one brief moment.

"I was out with wee Menschy the Mobkey last night. After two weeks of being in this boring show together he finally talked me into a date. Now look at me, he took me swimming to the pool on the roof of his Deluxe Chelsea Condo and Ravished me with a Capital R for hours. Ooh, the joy of his soft fuzzy beard, he tickled me all over with it. I am beat, I don't have the energy even to get dressed. I told the gallery owner I was taking the day off, but he insisted I was in the show as usual so I said ok but I am staying like this I just want to drool and dream about my hot night with Menschy the Monkey, yummieeee. Ladies, he get's a 10, make that 110."

And with that, she closed her eyes and went back to sleep the pool water still dripping on her damp shoulders.

"See," said Menschy,"you too could experience a Night of Pure Joy. Who wants to meet at the Rooftop Pool of my Chelsea digs tonight?"

We all three looked at each other.

The Doc stepped forward. 8pm she said boldly.

"You got it babe. Be there or be square and bring your La Perla Cossie, for some after hours fun." Menschy looked thrilled at the thought of a new conquest .

"Doc, he will probably drag you up to the pool by your hair and you just got expensive highlights, are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"So you think just you are to have adventures, we can review my Monkey Date next week, I am getting tired of talking of your disappointments time for some of my own! Didn't you see the Swimmer, she looked blissed out , I need some of that action. Monkey or not, I'll take it."
With that she stormed out the Gallery tossing her card at the Monkey, who hid it in his beard with a smug grin.

"Wait, wait, Doc, we have Ai Wei Wei Sunflowers still to do, just one more show, this is the Biggey!"

We scampered off into the fresh night air and this time it was my best pal that had the smile on her face.

Linda whined , I have seen enough art, how about Nap Time or a hot chocolate?

Aww come on, look at this lovely Monkey. It is all alone and needs some love too.
We all three gazed at the weird monkey. What was it?
Mr Monkey tell us about you, I asked him.
" Aahh you mean me," smiled the Monkey, " I am the Ultimate Primal Man, I am a Manly Monkey. A night with me and you will have the time off your life! I always cover the check, taxis and other MissAl Expenses, but once I get you home, I demand many hours of sex and I don't take no for an answer. Plus I can tickle you behind your ears with my feet, beat that. Now I know all three are free for The Day of Horrors, you Princess, let me put you out of your misery this year and we can go wild! You in? Doc? Yoga Hamptons Girl? Anyone? Hurry and decide, who is it to be?"
Well this monkey head took us quite aback with his bold, ballsy confidence.

Yoga Girl he is all yours, after lugging Morris around all last week, I am not getting stuck carrying a Monkey Head around, my name is already dirt in several cafes in the East Village. Fuggettaboutit.
I very kindly surrendered my opportunity for a Dream Date to my girlfriend. I hope this is appreciated, Eastyoga, you get the Monkey, I told you it is easy to find love in the City! Swap FB coordinates and let's go.

But The Dots just reminded me of a very sore topic, you know who!

Girls let's Skeedaddle, no offense Damien, but these Dots are bringing back painful memories. I am out of here, pronto, let's catch another hot show. At least we can catch shows, if we can't quite master boys or Muppets! Hurry the galleries close soon.

Mr Guard, are we allowed to take a photo right here

I was not wanting any heads to roll on my behalf.
"Dinna fret lassie, as long as you are IN the photo, Damien allows it. Do you want me to take it ? "
Trust Damien Hirst to come up with a way to allow his paintings to be broadcast across the globe and get all this free publicity and Hoo Ha from this here world famous blog.

Linda, we could not resist showing you The Dots!

Five minutes later at Gagosian on 24th, we were back against our favorite show. Damien Hirst The Dots.
They were just as impressive. The odd thing was everyone was taking Profile Pics all over the show and the Guards were doing nothing about it! They must have been told the more profile pics the more paintings will be sold, who knows!

Despite DeBuffet's failing eyesight , is this painting not remarkable?

I tried my usual diversionary tactics.
But, she fired back in,"Well another day of Extreme Loneliness, Humiliation and Feeling Sorry for yourself is it? Surely this will not be the 6th Day of Horrors spent alone again!
You should cancel your JDate and Match subscriptions and buy a painting instead as something is not working for you, or maybe it is just you! You know the Psychoanalyst Society offer half price sessions during this Day of Horrors period." She smiled but it was more about getting that perfect Facebook shot than real sympathy for Moi.
"Ggrrrr! You are so comforting sometimes! Nice to know I have someone on my side. We are supposed to be focusing on DeBuffet today, remember", I growled.

Linda piped in,"Can't you spare her just this week. Cut her some slack and me too. I have my Netflicks Agenda all planned out for The Day of Horrors, Appetizer Downton Abbey, entree Portlandia and Pudding,Curb Your Enthusiasm, by the time I get through that pile, The Day of Horrors will be over." she smiled triumphantly.

"Quick Girls, the Guards are in the other room, say SEX.

This always produces a smile, one must never lose hope!
A moment later the Doc was back to her old quizzing tactics.
"So Princess, now that Old Morris the Muppet is Number one on your Shit List Parade, spill the beans, any plans for The Day of Horrors. It fast approacheth, as I know , we all know, we cannot escape it, try as we might."

A week later and The Art Appreciation Club was prowling the streets of Chelsea again

This week the first stop was Debuffet Late Years. I was delighted by a room full of vibrant swirly colorful enmeshed circular hazes.
Aileen and I amused ourselves by taking sneaky pictures whilst the guards weren't looking. What can be a better Facebook profile pic than against the backdrop of some hot Chelsea show. I was reminded about a recent New York Times Op Ed about the fact all Facebook and Twitter postings generally are a statement of- "look how great I am." Facebook is a chance to puff up your ego and hopefully impress your old high school friends, who probably could care less about Jean DeBuffet's last years.