Thursday, January 13, 2011
Excuse me butting in on your workout,Mr Atlas,but can I say something here?
All of a sudden all the Toy Soldiers that were guarding the skating rink, were getting very excited.
Mr. Atlas, the guards are coming from inside Rock Center to see what all the ruckus is about
Look those lovely, sweet boys have offered to join us in the Fight against the Undead. If you could just stop the world push ups for a second, this is important. They are only 11 and 9, but they realize the importance of this here mission and the opportunity it offers the boys to look cool and exciting on Facebook. Will you allow them to join us? "
"Move the world to the right"
He hoisted it up on his right side.
A few people clapped, which seemed to only encourage him more.
(Ah, the male ego, never misses a chance to show off.)
A few people clapped, which seemed to only encourage him more.
(Ah, the male ego, never misses a chance to show off.)
Suddenly on cue,Mr Atlas started lifting his world up and down over his shoulders , I must say his breathing control was perfect, he would make a good yogi.
"And, hup, one" he breathed in his strong arms flexing.
"Hup, two." He breathed out and hoisted his world high, with an audible sigh, winking at me and smiling at the small crowd that gathered around to watch the spectacle. One little girl started crying, but the crowd hushed her.
"I will show the Skellys who is boss in this town, and ah Hup"
"Hup, two." He breathed out and hoisted his world high, with an audible sigh, winking at me and smiling at the small crowd that gathered around to watch the spectacle. One little girl started crying, but the crowd hushed her.
"I will show the Skellys who is boss in this town, and ah Hup"
Mr Atlas, listen up, I have good news.
"Princess, I am getting my photo taken with those two nicely behaved boys. Can this wait ? Yes, I do work out every day mam. No, not at Equinox or NY Sports, no I do my own routine right here at my post. The world makes a great weight. I lift it up and down 50 times first thing in the morning, really gives the heart a good pump.
SP,I am busy with this nice family, don't you ever let up?".
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
SP,I am busy with this nice family, don't you ever let up?".
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
We heard about the Skelly Revolution, my brother and I are ready to sign up, we want to help.
Two lovely young lads who were standing at the base of Mr Atlas, not defacing him in any way, suddenly waved me down.
Wow, all of a sudden things were looking up.
"Can we skip school and stay up all night to protect Jemima and the other art pieces. That would make such a cool Facebook status update, all our classmates would be jealous! I do karate and my brother is a yellow belt in Judo!"
"Well we do need all the help we can get to beat those dastardly Skellys, do you think your friends would help too?"I asked the boys, "Let me ask Mr Atlas what he thinks about bringing the age range down a bit."
Wow, all of a sudden things were looking up.
"Can we skip school and stay up all night to protect Jemima and the other art pieces. That would make such a cool Facebook status update, all our classmates would be jealous! I do karate and my brother is a yellow belt in Judo!"
"Well we do need all the help we can get to beat those dastardly Skellys, do you think your friends would help too?"I asked the boys, "Let me ask Mr Atlas what he thinks about bringing the age range down a bit."
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wow,who is that sexpot holding up the world over there , he is hot. Oh, I do love a Manly Man
I looked up and there standing tall, dashing, refined, buff was Mr. Atlas, who guards Rock Center, day and night. He looks like the type who would not be phased by a few sexually depraved Skellys. And what a kit he has on him.
“Hey, Jimmy,( well that is what we always say in Glasgow if we address a man.) Mr. Atlas, you up there balancing the world on your shoulders, have you got a minute. (All he does is stand around all day looking fit and strong so the answer must surely be yes). Yes you, it is the SP, down here, the beautiful one, you know me, the one everyone loves.”
“No loitering in the lobby, sir. Mam, the observation deck is on the 50th floor. Hey you laddie, no drawing on my pedestal please, it is public property. Mam, can’t you control your son. Princess or whoever you are, can’t you see I am busy? I can’t take these crowds they are driving me crazy, as soon as the tree goes up my job becomes a total nightmare. You move along, young man. Yes I will be in a picture with you, of course. Jesus, this is the only fun part of my job.” Growled Mr. Atlas, and he seemed none too pleased to talk to me either.
“You are working here I thought you just stood around balancing the world and basically you were art and that was it. Poor you, you must be exhausted, can I get you a cup of tea?” I smiled endearingly, “We Princesses can do a good turn now and then for our loving and loyal subjects ,who of course go back to Grecian times.”
“Look, Missy, cut the princess gag, I see royalty all the time and famous folks and prime ministers and the whole kit and caboodle and basically they just annoy me so if you are a princess and you sure don’t look like one, save it for someone else.
I am not in the mood. Since the whole financial fiasco Bloomberg passed a decree that all the public art pieces have to actually work and do something useful and help save the city money and I got lumbered with a Security job. I get $7 an hour at least but the hours are awful, 24/7. So far I have caught some kids defacing the angels and a dog peeing on the flowers but nothing exciting, no terrorists or real action where I could show my prowess and strength off.” Mr. Atlas, moaned, pausing to wipe the sweat from his brow even though it was 27 degrees and freezing outside.
“Ahah, I said, “ I have a mission for you. You can help your fellow art exhibits in Soho, who are at risk of sexual molestation this very night. Come closer.”
I tiptoed up to him and whispered the whole Skelly Revolution story in his ear. He kept nodding and frowning and seemed very earnest until I came to the last part. “ Yes, and we must rescue them all and stop the Skellys before they take over our dear Big Apple. A guy like you is what is needed as I cannot find my Super Blue Jew anywhere, he was last spotting eating latkes and doughnuts at a Chanukah party. Are you in? “
Mr. Atlas seemed very excited at the prospect of a real project. Now all we have to do is figure out how he can leave his post, as he has not moved in about 80 years or something like that. Anyone have any ideas, please post your comments now!
“Hey, Jimmy,( well that is what we always say in Glasgow if we address a man.) Mr. Atlas, you up there balancing the world on your shoulders, have you got a minute. (All he does is stand around all day looking fit and strong so the answer must surely be yes). Yes you, it is the SP, down here, the beautiful one, you know me, the one everyone loves.”
“No loitering in the lobby, sir. Mam, the observation deck is on the 50th floor. Hey you laddie, no drawing on my pedestal please, it is public property. Mam, can’t you control your son. Princess or whoever you are, can’t you see I am busy? I can’t take these crowds they are driving me crazy, as soon as the tree goes up my job becomes a total nightmare. You move along, young man. Yes I will be in a picture with you, of course. Jesus, this is the only fun part of my job.” Growled Mr. Atlas, and he seemed none too pleased to talk to me either.
“You are working here I thought you just stood around balancing the world and basically you were art and that was it. Poor you, you must be exhausted, can I get you a cup of tea?” I smiled endearingly, “We Princesses can do a good turn now and then for our loving and loyal subjects ,who of course go back to Grecian times.”
“Look, Missy, cut the princess gag, I see royalty all the time and famous folks and prime ministers and the whole kit and caboodle and basically they just annoy me so if you are a princess and you sure don’t look like one, save it for someone else.
I am not in the mood. Since the whole financial fiasco Bloomberg passed a decree that all the public art pieces have to actually work and do something useful and help save the city money and I got lumbered with a Security job. I get $7 an hour at least but the hours are awful, 24/7. So far I have caught some kids defacing the angels and a dog peeing on the flowers but nothing exciting, no terrorists or real action where I could show my prowess and strength off.” Mr. Atlas, moaned, pausing to wipe the sweat from his brow even though it was 27 degrees and freezing outside.
“Ahah, I said, “ I have a mission for you. You can help your fellow art exhibits in Soho, who are at risk of sexual molestation this very night. Come closer.”
I tiptoed up to him and whispered the whole Skelly Revolution story in his ear. He kept nodding and frowning and seemed very earnest until I came to the last part. “ Yes, and we must rescue them all and stop the Skellys before they take over our dear Big Apple. A guy like you is what is needed as I cannot find my Super Blue Jew anywhere, he was last spotting eating latkes and doughnuts at a Chanukah party. Are you in? “
Mr. Atlas seemed very excited at the prospect of a real project. Now all we have to do is figure out how he can leave his post, as he has not moved in about 80 years or something like that. Anyone have any ideas, please post your comments now!
Monday, December 20, 2010
I started walking and just kept going and the next thing I knew I was standing bang in front of the world famous magnificent Christmas Tree at Rock Center, 5th Ave.
It was so beautiful. My girlfriend's fiancée proposed there last week, the night before the office party. So I stood under it hoping some love vibes might come my way. The place was full of tourists, real tourists, not human prisoners with yellow star permits, like those blasted Skelly's want us to be.
I sat down and put my head in my hands? Where is the Super Blue Jew when you need him ?He rescued all the Home Depot elves who were working in the shop window as slave child labor instead of giving presents to kids. ( see the Santacon blog a few years ago, for that exciting adventure). The happy crowds thronged and milled around and took pictures, unaware of the imminent tragedy of the potential molestation of innocent art exhibits about to take place, never mind the whole Skelly Revolution, who knows where that will go.
Woe is me. Please God help me, someone , somewhere , we must stop the Undead before it is too late.
I sat down and put my head in my hands? Where is the Super Blue Jew when you need him ?He rescued all the Home Depot elves who were working in the shop window as slave child labor instead of giving presents to kids. ( see the Santacon blog a few years ago, for that exciting adventure). The happy crowds thronged and milled around and took pictures, unaware of the imminent tragedy of the potential molestation of innocent art exhibits about to take place, never mind the whole Skelly Revolution, who knows where that will go.
Woe is me. Please God help me, someone , somewhere , we must stop the Undead before it is too late.
SP, come back, don't leave us with Humph gone who will save us from these horrible Skelly creatures
The girl with the octopus hat had a twin, with tree trunks sticking out of her hat this time.
The Skellys prowl around here at night when Humph is gone, they get in through the window as they are so skinny, and they make even Jemima look fat.
They cackle away, their silly bones clanking around as they get out their iPhones and take photos of the art to show their friends, tapping away messages with their teeth on their Skelly app, whoever invented that should be shot. They are all Flirty McFlirty with all us lady art pieces and make a general nuisance of themselves and none of us get a wink of sleep. Just before dawn, they slink back out the window and disappear leaving nothing but a deathly graveyard, dead bats and rats, rotten leaves kind of a foul odor , which gets up our nose all day. My poor sister can't even scratch her nose as you know. Do something SP, with Humph out who knows what kind of mischief they will be up to tonight. And they are so pushy, think they are so sexy and always sticking their bony paws up our coats, Eeuww. Yukko. Sleazos!
Wow, those poor exhibits may be manhandled tonight. I must put my thinking cap on and try and rescue them before the night comes in. And here, all I wanted was a quiet stroll around a Soho gallery this afternoon , trust me to get embroiled in another life threatening drama. I am tired of them, I just want a day to myself. No such luck it seems.
I dashed out the gallery hoping the New York streets might inspire a clever idea for some retaliation tactics.
The Skellys prowl around here at night when Humph is gone, they get in through the window as they are so skinny, and they make even Jemima look fat.
They cackle away, their silly bones clanking around as they get out their iPhones and take photos of the art to show their friends, tapping away messages with their teeth on their Skelly app, whoever invented that should be shot. They are all Flirty McFlirty with all us lady art pieces and make a general nuisance of themselves and none of us get a wink of sleep. Just before dawn, they slink back out the window and disappear leaving nothing but a deathly graveyard, dead bats and rats, rotten leaves kind of a foul odor , which gets up our nose all day. My poor sister can't even scratch her nose as you know. Do something SP, with Humph out who knows what kind of mischief they will be up to tonight. And they are so pushy, think they are so sexy and always sticking their bony paws up our coats, Eeuww. Yukko. Sleazos!
Wow, those poor exhibits may be manhandled tonight. I must put my thinking cap on and try and rescue them before the night comes in. And here, all I wanted was a quiet stroll around a Soho gallery this afternoon , trust me to get embroiled in another life threatening drama. I am tired of them, I just want a day to myself. No such luck it seems.
I dashed out the gallery hoping the New York streets might inspire a clever idea for some retaliation tactics.
I turned around and there was yet another Skelly art piece on the wall.
The usual skull and crossbones combo with a top hat and naked women in the background. More cliched art. Ok, the colors were pretty nice, but it was stinky none the less.
If the Skellys want some action in the art and entertainment then why not audition to be an extra in a Lord of The Rings film and leave our galleries alone.
"Skellys, your art stinks and is all copy cat. Go home to the earth and leave the New York art scene alone. Or at least try and be a bit more original." I shouted out to no one in particular as Humph was still slumped on his desk.
On that assertive I'm not afraid of you note, I stormed out the gallery, with a wave to Jemima and the gang, to indicate , Do not fear,the SP is on this Skelly situation.
If the Skellys want some action in the art and entertainment then why not audition to be an extra in a Lord of The Rings film and leave our galleries alone.
"Skellys, your art stinks and is all copy cat. Go home to the earth and leave the New York art scene alone. Or at least try and be a bit more original." I shouted out to no one in particular as Humph was still slumped on his desk.
On that assertive I'm not afraid of you note, I stormed out the gallery, with a wave to Jemima and the gang, to indicate , Do not fear,the SP is on this Skelly situation.
Humph , Humphrey Wafflepants , wake up! You have a gallery to run, you can't just pass out like that.
I smacked him in the face a few times and finally threw some cold water over him. ( Jemima cheered at that part and the octopus gave me the thumbs up or in his case, the tentacle up).
I looked around the room and saw more hidden Skelly art pieces. They really fancied themselves something rotten.
This is the Skelly with the Andy Warhol hairdo portrait, cliched and naff, if you ask me, but that doesn't mean someone won't overpay for it, especially in Soho. It had that Robert Mapplethorpe black background and perfect framing of the face, the way he did. A direct copy if you ask me.
The Skelly was smirking away, looking very proud of itself , with it's Warhol hairdo, like it was God's gift to women. Pure ego.
I thought it was just men that had the massive ego syndrome but now I see those Skelly's are just as bad.
So they are getting ready to take over the art world are they? Well we will see about that. Those Skelly's don't scare me. I deal with them every year at Halloween time. Always fishing for a date, the sleazy bunch.
I looked around the room and saw more hidden Skelly art pieces. They really fancied themselves something rotten.
This is the Skelly with the Andy Warhol hairdo portrait, cliched and naff, if you ask me, but that doesn't mean someone won't overpay for it, especially in Soho. It had that Robert Mapplethorpe black background and perfect framing of the face, the way he did. A direct copy if you ask me.
The Skelly was smirking away, looking very proud of itself , with it's Warhol hairdo, like it was God's gift to women. Pure ego.
I thought it was just men that had the massive ego syndrome but now I see those Skelly's are just as bad.
So they are getting ready to take over the art world are they? Well we will see about that. Those Skelly's don't scare me. I deal with them every year at Halloween time. Always fishing for a date, the sleazy bunch.
Humph beckoned me over to the back of the gallery.
"Forget about that John Lennon piece, I have something special to show you in the back room, something unique. There is a brand new art market, new artists, new collectors."
"Mexicans, Polish, Irish? it can't be the Chinese, that market is so overdone now." I leaned over to Humph, who had a strange look on his face that I could not figure out.
"Come to the back room. Come now, but be prepared for something unique. Totally unique."
I started walking over but all my friends the art exhibits, Jemima, the girl with the octopus and the octopus itself, started shaking their heads as if to say no, don't go. The octopus was waving it's tentacle in an aggressive manner and frowning more than usual.
I wonder why?
I pretended I did not see the warnings and marched into the back room and stopped short.
Something I have feared for many years had finally happened. Humph looked at me. I looked at him.
The Skellys, they are infiltrating the art world , then what next.
"How did this get here, Humph? I am sure showing the art of the undead is illegal, you are putting yourself at risk here. What does the piece mean?"
"One of the Skellys in a black cloak stormed in late at night and told me if I did not show the art , my appointment with Dr Death, would be tomorrow and he manages Dr Death's schedule and can shift things around. So I have it here and only you can see it. Can you help SP, this piece is a prototype. It is a sign that the Skellys want to post in the streets of New York. All of us are to be "tourists", they are the new locals, and we are all to have permits like yellow stars and we get fined $200 if we don't have them on us. I think they got that number from Monoply. It is pretty scary stuff. It is the Skelly Revolution! With that he passed out on his desk.
"Mexicans, Polish, Irish? it can't be the Chinese, that market is so overdone now." I leaned over to Humph, who had a strange look on his face that I could not figure out.
"Come to the back room. Come now, but be prepared for something unique. Totally unique."
I started walking over but all my friends the art exhibits, Jemima, the girl with the octopus and the octopus itself, started shaking their heads as if to say no, don't go. The octopus was waving it's tentacle in an aggressive manner and frowning more than usual.
I wonder why?
I pretended I did not see the warnings and marched into the back room and stopped short.
Something I have feared for many years had finally happened. Humph looked at me. I looked at him.
The Skellys, they are infiltrating the art world , then what next.
"How did this get here, Humph? I am sure showing the art of the undead is illegal, you are putting yourself at risk here. What does the piece mean?"
"One of the Skellys in a black cloak stormed in late at night and told me if I did not show the art , my appointment with Dr Death, would be tomorrow and he manages Dr Death's schedule and can shift things around. So I have it here and only you can see it. Can you help SP, this piece is a prototype. It is a sign that the Skellys want to post in the streets of New York. All of us are to be "tourists", they are the new locals, and we are all to have permits like yellow stars and we get fined $200 if we don't have them on us. I think they got that number from Monoply. It is pretty scary stuff. It is the Skelly Revolution! With that he passed out on his desk.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
As I was walking to see Jemima, feeling fatter with every step. My eye caught John Lennon and Yoko holding up a sign,saying Art is Over.
Yet the sign was on a painting for sale for $6,000 in a trendy Soho gallery. If that is not art, then what is?
A closer look revealed the word, "here", at the bottom of the sign. Art is over, here." Cute, cheesy. Poor old John he should have been 70 this year and making music still and telling the world what to do. He would have put Osama Bin Laden in his place, no question.
During Vietnam John paid for giant billboards with anti war slogans, which were important and meaningful. He is probably turning over in his grave, with this art is over here, nonsense.
"Humph, the Jemima piece is making me feel like a hefalump, and this John piece is too trite, what else you got?".
A closer look revealed the word, "here", at the bottom of the sign. Art is over, here." Cute, cheesy. Poor old John he should have been 70 this year and making music still and telling the world what to do. He would have put Osama Bin Laden in his place, no question.
During Vietnam John paid for giant billboards with anti war slogans, which were important and meaningful. He is probably turning over in his grave, with this art is over here, nonsense.
"Humph, the Jemima piece is making me feel like a hefalump, and this John piece is too trite, what else you got?".
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Poor Jemima, my oh so skinny colleague at the back of the gallery
The gallery owner put her on a mastercleanse fast for 3 months and she was only allowed to sip the lemonade through a straw , one cup a day.
Every day she cried ,"Art, Art, I must do it for the Art. Maybe some wealthy trendy Soho Fashionista, will take me home and feed me. Ah how I long for a Mac and Cheese grilled to perfection under the oven or a spaghetti limon, a chocolate shake or a black sesame seed ice-cream, anything but cayenne flavored lemonade, that is why I am so thin, that blasted cayenne burnt a hole in my stomach. Sob! Sob! How is a lass to survive on 3 calories a day for 3 months. This gallery owner Humphrey Wafflepants should be arrested for cruelty to exhibits. It is an injustice so it is..."
Then Humphrey would walk over to her and prod her in the stomach,
"Jemima stop whining, enough already. I told you I want you STICK THIN, get it. The ladies that come in here pop in after shopping in Chanel, most of them are Russian models, they want an art piece that looks like them, not some dumpy girl in a blue raincoat with an octopus on her head. ( looking at me). Now drink your lemonade and quiet down you are upsetting the other exhibits.( Well, we all looked down at the ground) Be thankful you got to keep your own breasts and they weren't replaced by red eggs."
Then his iPhone 4 rang and he started laughing and guffawing in that annoying, pompous way to his art cronies, that the poor exhibits were complaining and isn't it a terrible shame.
And so she cried. Well we all gave her sympathetic looks but what could we do, we have our own jobs to look after. In this climate you have to be grateful you get any work at all.
As for me, well I am allowed to eat. I am to appeal to the podgy rich little girls that come in and Hump says someone will buy me soon. And then I will be free. At least Jemima does not have a slimy, slithery live octopus balanced on her hat. I have to stand here all day and not move a muscle in case the octopus falls off! If it falls off, even once, Humph says he is booting me out the show. I am a nervous wreck with it all. My nose tickles me all day and I can't even scratch it. I feel like I am in my own hell, the Sisyphus of the art world and all for a measly $7 an hour. It's an injustice that it is. Sob! Sniffle! Sniffle! Please would you scratch my nose."
I reached over to softly scratch her little nose, and the octopus glared at me and shifted a little on her head, almost falling off. Cripes! These poor exhibits have it tough. Someone should report this Ne'er Do Well Hump character for cruelty to exhibits , he is probably selling their breasts and body parts too, what a fiend.
Humph glanced up from his IPad and gave me an icy glare.
"Please do not touch the exhibits , any breakages must be paid for. Hey, aren't you the girl who never paid for the Porridge Chair , over in Chelsea, there is a Wanted Notice out for you in the art world."
"Nah, that wasn't me, that girl left to Scotland over Thanksgiving , I don't think she is coming back. How much for that fabulous Skinny Exhibit Doll with the white hair, if only I could be as thin as her,she is gorgeous!"
"Ah, you must mean Jemima. Please come and take a look. She took months to perfect, the Italian artist just won a prize at Art Basel for her, she is my treasure , what a good eye you have."
I winked over at the Octopus girl, who gave me a teeny, weeny smile with the corners of the mouth, whilst hardly moving an inch. The octopus gave me another steely, cold stare, and then walked over to see Jemima with Humph, who had suddenly become charm himself and would not stop talking about all the awards and accolades, rave reviews for the ground breaking Jemima piece.
"This is the way women dream of looking but daren't admit it." He droned on.
Every day she cried ,"Art, Art, I must do it for the Art. Maybe some wealthy trendy Soho Fashionista, will take me home and feed me. Ah how I long for a Mac and Cheese grilled to perfection under the oven or a spaghetti limon, a chocolate shake or a black sesame seed ice-cream, anything but cayenne flavored lemonade, that is why I am so thin, that blasted cayenne burnt a hole in my stomach. Sob! Sob! How is a lass to survive on 3 calories a day for 3 months. This gallery owner Humphrey Wafflepants should be arrested for cruelty to exhibits. It is an injustice so it is..."
Then Humphrey would walk over to her and prod her in the stomach,
"Jemima stop whining, enough already. I told you I want you STICK THIN, get it. The ladies that come in here pop in after shopping in Chanel, most of them are Russian models, they want an art piece that looks like them, not some dumpy girl in a blue raincoat with an octopus on her head. ( looking at me). Now drink your lemonade and quiet down you are upsetting the other exhibits.( Well, we all looked down at the ground) Be thankful you got to keep your own breasts and they weren't replaced by red eggs."
Then his iPhone 4 rang and he started laughing and guffawing in that annoying, pompous way to his art cronies, that the poor exhibits were complaining and isn't it a terrible shame.
And so she cried. Well we all gave her sympathetic looks but what could we do, we have our own jobs to look after. In this climate you have to be grateful you get any work at all.
As for me, well I am allowed to eat. I am to appeal to the podgy rich little girls that come in and Hump says someone will buy me soon. And then I will be free. At least Jemima does not have a slimy, slithery live octopus balanced on her hat. I have to stand here all day and not move a muscle in case the octopus falls off! If it falls off, even once, Humph says he is booting me out the show. I am a nervous wreck with it all. My nose tickles me all day and I can't even scratch it. I feel like I am in my own hell, the Sisyphus of the art world and all for a measly $7 an hour. It's an injustice that it is. Sob! Sniffle! Sniffle! Please would you scratch my nose."
I reached over to softly scratch her little nose, and the octopus glared at me and shifted a little on her head, almost falling off. Cripes! These poor exhibits have it tough. Someone should report this Ne'er Do Well Hump character for cruelty to exhibits , he is probably selling their breasts and body parts too, what a fiend.
Humph glanced up from his IPad and gave me an icy glare.
"Please do not touch the exhibits , any breakages must be paid for. Hey, aren't you the girl who never paid for the Porridge Chair , over in Chelsea, there is a Wanted Notice out for you in the art world."
"Nah, that wasn't me, that girl left to Scotland over Thanksgiving , I don't think she is coming back. How much for that fabulous Skinny Exhibit Doll with the white hair, if only I could be as thin as her,she is gorgeous!"
"Ah, you must mean Jemima. Please come and take a look. She took months to perfect, the Italian artist just won a prize at Art Basel for her, she is my treasure , what a good eye you have."
I winked over at the Octopus girl, who gave me a teeny, weeny smile with the corners of the mouth, whilst hardly moving an inch. The octopus gave me another steely, cold stare, and then walked over to see Jemima with Humph, who had suddenly become charm himself and would not stop talking about all the awards and accolades, rave reviews for the ground breaking Jemima piece.
"This is the way women dream of looking but daren't admit it." He droned on.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Well if this is beauty, I got to slim down - a lot.
Oh dear, better go easy on the spaghetti limon at Franx. Now I am really depressed. I thought this show would cheer me up, fat chance. Fat being the operative word.
Interesting Marilyn Monroe with Mickey Mouse boobs
There must be some message for me here. I need to let my boobs be more playful perhaps! Find a groovy bra to attract Mr Right?
Hmmm... This whole finding a date for Halloween is proving pretty challenging
I don't know why it is so tough every single year. I am fed up with it. I need a nice normal alive guy not one of those undead ghouls or IPhone Teeth Tapping Skelly Monsters from the Sag Harbor Whaling Museum Haunted House.
To take my mind off things I decided to wander into a trendy Soho Gallery on Greene Street, to see if I could find some solace and peace.
To take my mind off things I decided to wander into a trendy Soho Gallery on Greene Street, to see if I could find some solace and peace.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Come back and see us soon Princess we love your blog said the Skelly spiked on the fence
Course I will, I just bought my ticket for tomorrow night, can't wait I lied, hastening down the path and tripping over Anabella's cast offs and newly murdered.
Oy, I am Anabella's father, she is a good lass as long as you stay on her good side, leave her alone, she is staying right here to look after her poor old dad and younger sisters
Oh dear, you are her dad, what happened to you, you are in chains and you look like you have been dead for a long time.
Well right enough, I too had a bit of a temper and I was a little too free with the knife like my eldest sadly the Sag Harbor Police threw me in their dungeon with nothing to eat and well the rest is history. I only chopped up eight men and they all deserved it but the last one on his last breath pulled out his cell phone and croaked to the coppers and they got me, son of a bitch.
But I used to look like Gregory Peck, want to see how handsome I was?
He pulled out his IPhone from his black manky old cloak and started skimming through all his photos.
Dad, I have to run as I still need to figure out my date for tonight but all I can say is you have hardly set a good example for your daughter, she will end up like you if you don't control her, be warned!
Oh Darling Anabella is an angel , leave her alone. She is a good girl, if you insist I will have a wee word with her but I really don't think it is necessary , 3 dead uns is hardly going to cause any problems, no one would miss these louts in any case. Har, har , har! He chortled loudly,clapping his hands with glee and pride at his eldest daughter's ghastly deeds.
Oh what a dreadful family I thought to myself, maybe mine are normal after all.
Now let's get out of here before I somehow get tangled up in all of this.
Well right enough, I too had a bit of a temper and I was a little too free with the knife like my eldest sadly the Sag Harbor Police threw me in their dungeon with nothing to eat and well the rest is history. I only chopped up eight men and they all deserved it but the last one on his last breath pulled out his cell phone and croaked to the coppers and they got me, son of a bitch.
But I used to look like Gregory Peck, want to see how handsome I was?
He pulled out his IPhone from his black manky old cloak and started skimming through all his photos.
Dad, I have to run as I still need to figure out my date for tonight but all I can say is you have hardly set a good example for your daughter, she will end up like you if you don't control her, be warned!
Oh Darling Anabella is an angel , leave her alone. She is a good girl, if you insist I will have a wee word with her but I really don't think it is necessary , 3 dead uns is hardly going to cause any problems, no one would miss these louts in any case. Har, har , har! He chortled loudly,clapping his hands with glee and pride at his eldest daughter's ghastly deeds.
Oh what a dreadful family I thought to myself, maybe mine are normal after all.
Now let's get out of here before I somehow get tangled up in all of this.
Ok moving along to the next room, things were getting a little too spicy in this haunted house with the skellys and newly murdered clamoring for a date, not to mention that lovely lass with the sharp knife fetish
I see you met our big sister Anabella, isn't she beautiful ? Chimed the two younger ghostie girls, we want to grow up and be all cool and sexy like her.
You do I asked, she must be wanted for murder, after all she has three fallen men she has done in without a qualm, that is considered socially unacceptable behavior in the modern civilized world. She will end up in jail if she keeps this up, I have a good manner to report to the manager of the Haunted House as Anabella is a danger to society. I am sorry to disappoint you young ladies but I would try aspiring to be like someone else, how about Princess Diana, she was very beautiful and did a lot of good in the world and was loved by all except her husband.
You do I asked, she must be wanted for murder, after all she has three fallen men she has done in without a qualm, that is considered socially unacceptable behavior in the modern civilized world. She will end up in jail if she keeps this up, I have a good manner to report to the manager of the Haunted House as Anabella is a danger to society. I am sorry to disappoint you young ladies but I would try aspiring to be like someone else, how about Princess Diana, she was very beautiful and did a lot of good in the world and was loved by all except her husband.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I am her Ex from last year, I already decomposed but I used to look like Brad Pitt I can show you a photo in my iPhone. All i did was mention she had put on a teensy weensy bit of weight and perhaps 4 slices of pizza for breakfast was not the healthiest breakfast and Wham, one swipe and you are out. Before I could say how's your uncle I was without torso.
That'll teach yer, she said, guess you won't be too eating too much more pizza yourself, ya slimy insulting rabbit headed weasel smartass. Those were her last words to me, Sob!
On a brighter note however, I am free for parties tonight and you can pop me in your handbag and we are good to go. Forget the other 3 losers , I just need to finish my shift here at the Haunted House, I am done at 9pm. My hair and make up
are done so I am all ready, Sweetums Princess Pie.
Thanks for the offer, I will consider it along with the others but those teeth look a tad sharp for the kissing part of the evening. Out of interest how do operate an iPhone when you have no fingers? I asked the poor Ex, Ex.
They have a fab Skelly Ap for us undead, you can type with your teeth, it is really easy look!
He started gnashing away, his grey lanky locks swaying in the wind. How he ever looked like Brad Pitt beats me.
That'll teach yer, she said, guess you won't be too eating too much more pizza yourself, ya slimy insulting rabbit headed weasel smartass. Those were her last words to me, Sob!
On a brighter note however, I am free for parties tonight and you can pop me in your handbag and we are good to go. Forget the other 3 losers , I just need to finish my shift here at the Haunted House, I am done at 9pm. My hair and make up
are done so I am all ready, Sweetums Princess Pie.
Thanks for the offer, I will consider it along with the others but those teeth look a tad sharp for the kissing part of the evening. Out of interest how do operate an iPhone when you have no fingers? I asked the poor Ex, Ex.
They have a fab Skelly Ap for us undead, you can type with your teeth, it is really easy look!
He started gnashing away, his grey lanky locks swaying in the wind. How he ever looked like Brad Pitt beats me.
I am her Ex, I am also Ex Body. She did not like the comment I made that her shift dress was a bit moldy looking and how about a pair of 7 Jeans instead?
Well one swipe and look at me. At least this is a good season for work, I have been unemployed for 11 months, no one wants a headless banker, not good for morale in the office space.
Kripes, that reminds me, who handles HR here as I have a lovely skull and Adorable Siamese Twins who would fit in perfectly here. Sorry she did you in, I guess you should learn to keep your big mouth shut and always tell your gal she looks stunning , I mean that is A of A,B, C of dating. Duh! Dopey , I mean she doesn't look like a lass you want to get on the wrong side off, anyone can see that.
Enjoy your run at the haunted house. I will ask around if anyone needs a headless banker. There must be someone. Mascot at Lehman, Corus?
Gees thanks said the banker.
Kripes, that reminds me, who handles HR here as I have a lovely skull and Adorable Siamese Twins who would fit in perfectly here. Sorry she did you in, I guess you should learn to keep your big mouth shut and always tell your gal she looks stunning , I mean that is A of A,B, C of dating. Duh! Dopey , I mean she doesn't look like a lass you want to get on the wrong side off, anyone can see that.
Enjoy your run at the haunted house. I will ask around if anyone needs a headless banker. There must be someone. Mascot at Lehman, Corus?
Gees thanks said the banker.
SP, did I see you chatting up my boyfriend that looser wanker egghead sleazeball lying in the grass ?
I told him to behave last night and he tried to get in the knickers of all the female patrons and caused a total ruckus. We had to fire him for sexual harrassment. Well I am sorry when I tried to help him shave my knife slipped. Oh, oops. Silly me. If I was you, I would not chat one more second to him or you may find you may have a wee teensy weensy accidenty, nothing serious. But leave my guy alone, get it. Find your own guy.
It wasn't my fault he started it, I whined in self defense, but she just kept sharpening her knife.
Well, let's see the next room I said cheerfully and moving on.
It wasn't my fault he started it, I whined in self defense, but she just kept sharpening her knife.
Well, let's see the next room I said cheerfully and moving on.
At the Haunted House, my popularity was on an up
I may look dead but I just cut myself shaving. Can I be your date for tonight forget about Old Ghoulie, I am your man, said a perky young lad lying in the grass, and pretty fresh despite being stabbed in the stomach.
Aach this wound is nothing it looks worse than it is he reassured me. Let's go to the Halloween parties together. Tonight.
I wish I could get into this blood and spilled guts look, but it just makes me queasy.
Mister you have a job to do at the Haunted House and stop chatting up the patrons, you are supposed to be scary not sleazy.
Ok what next in the haunted house?
Aach this wound is nothing it looks worse than it is he reassured me. Let's go to the Halloween parties together. Tonight.
I wish I could get into this blood and spilled guts look, but it just makes me queasy.
Mister you have a job to do at the Haunted House and stop chatting up the patrons, you are supposed to be scary not sleazy.
Ok what next in the haunted house?
"Don't go near that Ghoul, even if he is a good kisser. I hear he is a player and will give you the runaround. You can do so much better. If you go to the parties with that Ghoul you will not meet anyone else. Dump him
Now before you get more involved. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Said the sweet Siamese baby half in the Halloween shop window.
"Shut it, Babyface. Old Ghoulie is the best the SP is going to get, she should jump at the chance, she even snogged him already. This could be her only chance for action. SP go for it and shag him tonight as tomorrow he will probably be back in his grave and I hear the cell phone connection is very ropy six feet under," said the Evil Fang Faced Red Eyed Baby Siamese Monster.
Wow, those two babies were at each other's throats , squabbling away. How does their poor mama handle the fighting? But there was only a skull and no mama to be seen.
Well I was torn what to do?
Yorrick, my man, what do you think ? Should I risk a night with the Undead , Old Ghoulie is very gallant and an excellent kisser, although his suit is a tad grimy, I asked the skull, his blue eyes seemed full of wisdom after all he had seen it all no doubt.
"Keep looking Princess. I hate to say it but that Ghoul is a bit of a player and he likes to turn in, get into his velvet coffin that is,with a different gal each night, but you never heard that from me. Tell Ghoulie Yorrick sends his best and I would love a part in the Sag Harbor Whaling Museum Haunted House show, I'll be an extra. The pay is terrific as they are all loaded out there , anything to get me out of this shop window and way from the Twins I can't take the squabbling a second more."
Ok Yorrick, I am on my way there I will put in a good word for you, you always need a good skull. How is your howling and evil chortling?
The twins got very het up when they heard Yorrick was off to pastures new. We want to come they demanded. We can howl the whole place down. We will stop fighting if you take us we promise, they piped in unison.
Sure I thought. Little Angels, not.
Now before you get more involved. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Said the sweet Siamese baby half in the Halloween shop window.
"Shut it, Babyface. Old Ghoulie is the best the SP is going to get, she should jump at the chance, she even snogged him already. This could be her only chance for action. SP go for it and shag him tonight as tomorrow he will probably be back in his grave and I hear the cell phone connection is very ropy six feet under," said the Evil Fang Faced Red Eyed Baby Siamese Monster.
Wow, those two babies were at each other's throats , squabbling away. How does their poor mama handle the fighting? But there was only a skull and no mama to be seen.
Well I was torn what to do?
Yorrick, my man, what do you think ? Should I risk a night with the Undead , Old Ghoulie is very gallant and an excellent kisser, although his suit is a tad grimy, I asked the skull, his blue eyes seemed full of wisdom after all he had seen it all no doubt.
"Keep looking Princess. I hate to say it but that Ghoul is a bit of a player and he likes to turn in, get into his velvet coffin that is,with a different gal each night, but you never heard that from me. Tell Ghoulie Yorrick sends his best and I would love a part in the Sag Harbor Whaling Museum Haunted House show, I'll be an extra. The pay is terrific as they are all loaded out there , anything to get me out of this shop window and way from the Twins I can't take the squabbling a second more."
Ok Yorrick, I am on my way there I will put in a good word for you, you always need a good skull. How is your howling and evil chortling?
The twins got very het up when they heard Yorrick was off to pastures new. We want to come they demanded. We can howl the whole place down. We will stop fighting if you take us we promise, they piped in unison.
Sure I thought. Little Angels, not.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
"Gie's a smooch, Missus. I love your Missoni wooly bunnet. You look so yummy today I could gobble you up in one mouthful. Grrr....."
How could I say no when he asked me so nicely.
Here I am smooching already and Halloween hasn't even started. The Angel got it all wrong and actually the ashen look was growing on me.
How could I say no when he asked me so nicely.
Here I am smooching already and Halloween hasn't even started. The Angel got it all wrong and actually the ashen look was growing on me.
Hey Princess you got a date for Halloween ? I am available and willing to escort the SP through her adventures said a dashing undead suitor
Well that is most gallant of you Sir, but escorting me means protecting me from the Reptilians , are you up for that?
PS. I am not going out with you looking like that, you had better get that suit to the dry cleaners pronto.
Plus you are awful ashen in your complexion. In the city we expect that but in Sag Harbor we hope to see a fresher faced look. There is a wonderful spa called Gurneys in Montauk, a few hours in the sauna , steam and Roman baths and you will be right as rain. I have a 10 pack book, one is yours for $22. A good investment I think.
PS. I am not going out with you looking like that, you had better get that suit to the dry cleaners pronto.
Plus you are awful ashen in your complexion. In the city we expect that but in Sag Harbor we hope to see a fresher faced look. There is a wonderful spa called Gurneys in Montauk, a few hours in the sauna , steam and Roman baths and you will be right as rain. I have a 10 pack book, one is yours for $22. A good investment I think.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Hey SP, what you going as for Halloween this year? My favorite costume of yours was Space Princess a few year ago, called out a couple of ghouls from the Halloween store on 12th Street and Broadway
Do you like our costumes, I am a stripy Ghouly prisoner with Elton John glasses and a fez for added dazzle.
SP, what about me? I am an offseason Evil Easter Chicken with a baby chiclet in my pouch, which will poison you with it's evil eye? How do you like it?
Original and fetching, lads. You made it to the SP blog so you made the cut.
As you all know Halloween is Skelly season for the blog and all ghouls and Skellys worldwide read the blog each year hoping to star in it. So nice one, your friends will be seething with jealousy, guaranteed.
SP, what about me? I am an offseason Evil Easter Chicken with a baby chiclet in my pouch, which will poison you with it's evil eye? How do you like it?
Original and fetching, lads. You made it to the SP blog so you made the cut.
As you all know Halloween is Skelly season for the blog and all ghouls and Skellys worldwide read the blog each year hoping to star in it. So nice one, your friends will be seething with jealousy, guaranteed.
SP I have been sent to warn you the Reptile Aliens are looking for you this weekend
Stay home with a book. Be smart. I would. Listen to your angel.
The angel at the shelter island nature reserve seemed dead set upon staying in.
But my costume, Wheylan made it especially and Britelite , I need to meet new Trick or Treaters, I can't. Sorry angel I am taking my chances and going out.
I warned you she said, with a tear in her stone eye. We don't want to loose you, a lot is at stake, including world peace and global vegetarianism.
The angel at the shelter island nature reserve seemed dead set upon staying in.
But my costume, Wheylan made it especially and Britelite , I need to meet new Trick or Treaters, I can't. Sorry angel I am taking my chances and going out.
I warned you she said, with a tear in her stone eye. We don't want to loose you, a lot is at stake, including world peace and global vegetarianism.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Rudolph, enough with the foodscraps story. One more Monty Python "Wafer Mint" and you my dear will explode. You need to go on a diet and don't even think of scaring me when I am on the N Train coming from the latest broadway show.
Why did you summon the SP?
"Missy, you in trouble. You know it, I know it. Some mean folks are watching you, they got your number, baby. I came to warn you as we in the underground Rat community love your blog and we read it every day with our porridge and raisins, just as you ordered in your first very blog, that all your LLS are to eat porridge every morning in order to maintain daily good health and happiness.
SP, Halloween is a week away. Make yourself scarce, take my advice." He hissed, his giant red eyes glowed with concern and foreboding and his whiskers were bristling.
Oh cripes, who are the mean folks who have got my number? Is it the Reptilians Aliens who control the human race and all extra terrestrial life and feed on the spirits of dead people when they die ?
All my Hamptons friends keep talking about them. Maybe they will kidnap me on Halloween?
Oh, gosh I had better be very vigilant from today through All Souls Eve, ain't no evil reptiles going to steal me away, the Christmas sales are almost upon us.
Why did you summon the SP?
"Missy, you in trouble. You know it, I know it. Some mean folks are watching you, they got your number, baby. I came to warn you as we in the underground Rat community love your blog and we read it every day with our porridge and raisins, just as you ordered in your first very blog, that all your LLS are to eat porridge every morning in order to maintain daily good health and happiness.
SP, Halloween is a week away. Make yourself scarce, take my advice." He hissed, his giant red eyes glowed with concern and foreboding and his whiskers were bristling.
Oh cripes, who are the mean folks who have got my number? Is it the Reptilians Aliens who control the human race and all extra terrestrial life and feed on the spirits of dead people when they die ?
All my Hamptons friends keep talking about them. Maybe they will kidnap me on Halloween?
Oh, gosh I had better be very vigilant from today through All Souls Eve, ain't no evil reptiles going to steal me away, the Christmas sales are almost upon us.
Rudolph, I am late for work, can you make this snappy, I smiled at him sweetly so no passerbys could see some sinister interchange was about to take place.
Ladies and Gentleman, behold Rudolph the Radiant Rat. He may look scary but he is a sweet kid once you get to know him.
He just asked me to send you folks a message - he said please keep throwing the food scraps away in the trains as he and all his buddies are all getting very well fed and growing nice, big and strong from the ever increasing garbage left on the ground. He used to be a teeny weeny rat and look at him now!
So Keep New York Filthy is his slogan.
"That's right Missy Princess, all those scraps are gladly received and every day I thank my lucky stars I grew up in the Big Apple and not some clean city like Toronto or Singapore, where my brother rats are starving and ill nourished. Amen."
He just asked me to send you folks a message - he said please keep throwing the food scraps away in the trains as he and all his buddies are all getting very well fed and growing nice, big and strong from the ever increasing garbage left on the ground. He used to be a teeny weeny rat and look at him now!
So Keep New York Filthy is his slogan.
"That's right Missy Princess, all those scraps are gladly received and every day I thank my lucky stars I grew up in the Big Apple and not some clean city like Toronto or Singapore, where my brother rats are starving and ill nourished. Amen."
I was walking back to work after a lunchtime which included a five minute peek into Intermix, designer over priced goods only, when I saw a gigantic Plastic Rat in the middle of 17th Street off 7th Avenue
My very first thought was " Darn it, this is a very obvious sign, I got ratted on re my non purchase of the Porridge Chair after I skipped out the gallery despite clearly asking them to put a red sticker on the aforesaid chair."
Now that the summer is over I was hoping the gallery owners would be on to other projects and not still hightailing me.
The giant Rat Rudolph hissed me over.
"SP, SP, cime 'ere. I got news for you Sweetie. You gotta listen up." He snarled in a less than inviting tone.
Now that the summer is over I was hoping the gallery owners would be on to other projects and not still hightailing me.
The giant Rat Rudolph hissed me over.
"SP, SP, cime 'ere. I got news for you Sweetie. You gotta listen up." He snarled in a less than inviting tone.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
The song goes something like this
"Oh Pinky Paws,
Be careful with those claws
Miss Emily you did claim
Her other suitors were too tame."
Be careful with those claws
Miss Emily you did claim
Her other suitors were too tame."
Meanwhile at the back of the Disorient party tent two world famous musicians were composing a ditty in honor of Emily and Pinky Paws
Not only that but the tent itself had mysteriously grown some orange dinosaur horns of it's own. The whole dinosaur thing was fast getting out of control.
The Dinosaur Shuffle within 5 minutes was spreading through the whole camp
The bit everyone seemed to really go for was roaring at your partner.
The roars got louder and louder and more and more frenzied and animalistic. I was getting worried the whole lot of us would be thrown off the camp but when the camp wardens came they got into it too.
Emily was loving all the attention and shaking her booty up a storm to PP's delight. Her sparkly scarf was catching the light and her horn rings were glowing.
The roars got louder and louder and more and more frenzied and animalistic. I was getting worried the whole lot of us would be thrown off the camp but when the camp wardens came they got into it too.
Emily was loving all the attention and shaking her booty up a storm to PP's delight. Her sparkly scarf was catching the light and her horn rings were glowing.
The dancing got hot and heavy as dancing normally does
PP and Emily were easily the best dancers of the day and soon had everyone dancing The Dinosaur Shuffle.
Two steps to the left
Two steps to the right
Turn to your partner
Roar
Breathe some fire into the Sky( oops that is the Dragon Shuffle)
All I needed was a hot dancing partner but as usual all Emily's hot reject prospects had disappeared for fear of being swallowed up by PP, who really is a very sweet kid once you get to know him.
Two steps to the left
Two steps to the right
Turn to your partner
Roar
Breathe some fire into the Sky( oops that is the Dragon Shuffle)
All I needed was a hot dancing partner but as usual all Emily's hot reject prospects had disappeared for fear of being swallowed up by PP, who really is a very sweet kid once you get to know him.
The Disorient team set up their dancing tent
And all the preparations were done to prepare for the Pex new It Couple, Pinky Paws and Emily.
None of us knew what kind of dancers dinosaurs are but if they were game so were we.
None of us knew what kind of dancers dinosaurs are but if they were game so were we.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Arrow and his Missus another PEX it couple arrived on the scene to survey the goings on
Aaawwww,Emily and Pinky Paws must come to our Disorient Party tonight as special guests of honor, I am DJing by the pool , let's celebrate their new found love all the campers together.
At the pool everyone seemed to have some kind of flotation device
I could see Emily and PP smooching in the water and folks quickly got used to it. New Yorkers handle most strange things quite well.
Pinky Paws there is plenty of room in this swimming ring for you Sweetie, let's go pick it up a notch
Ah, all's well that ends well as our bard would say, that was easy.
Secretly I was happy to see Emily tied up in more ways than one , yes we love it when our girlfriends meet the right chappie but most importantly with her smooching old PP , that left more opportunities for me to try and hunt down some action.
Now where did the other hunks go? Shaggy, quit wrestling with sharks and try and pin down an SP, now there's a real challenge.
By the pool I could hear folks screaming and lots of splashing sounds. Dopes, Emily and Pinky Paws may look fierce but they are just a young couple newly in love, fresh with that dewy excitement you get when that so hard to feel "click" actually happens. I had better get down there fast in case any macho man wannabe hero tries to harm the young lovers.
Secretly I was happy to see Emily tied up in more ways than one , yes we love it when our girlfriends meet the right chappie but most importantly with her smooching old PP , that left more opportunities for me to try and hunt down some action.
Now where did the other hunks go? Shaggy, quit wrestling with sharks and try and pin down an SP, now there's a real challenge.
By the pool I could hear folks screaming and lots of splashing sounds. Dopes, Emily and Pinky Paws may look fierce but they are just a young couple newly in love, fresh with that dewy excitement you get when that so hard to feel "click" actually happens. I had better get down there fast in case any macho man wannabe hero tries to harm the young lovers.
Errrrr ,hold your horses, there is a fifth contender , moi, Pinkie Paws, Emily must choose me!
Wow at the last minute a T Rex appeared from one of the camps, he seemed extremely determined to get Emily, being of the same dinosaur family.
Believe it or not, when I turned round the other four suitors had vanished. I think the general consensus was Pinky Paws was by far the best fit and no one cared to get on his bad side.
Believe it or not, when I turned round the other four suitors had vanished. I think the general consensus was Pinky Paws was by far the best fit and no one cared to get on his bad side.
She had a very fetching and flattering pink and purple sparkly scarf and some of those light up rings around her horns.
The whole look was perfect shabby chic Burning Man glow in the dark come and get me if you dare. No wonder all the chaps were going crazy for her.
Someone had put a swimming ring around her to suggest she was game for some pool action too. At the tree the 4 aggressive suitors were lined up , leaving me three rejects unless she was one of those polyamorous dinosaur types, and as that was very prevalent in the camp, I would not put it past her, anyway I was hoping she was more normal.
"Emily,you look sexy shabby Burning Man hot, go girl, not one,not two, not three but FOUR suitors are waiting for you, can you pick one and put the others out their misery. PS. I would gladly take the other three rejects off your hand, save them pestering you any further. Now, who will it be?"
I enquired politely with not even a hint of jealousy, just some unnoticeable teeth gnashing.
The whole look was perfect shabby chic Burning Man glow in the dark come and get me if you dare. No wonder all the chaps were going crazy for her.
Someone had put a swimming ring around her to suggest she was game for some pool action too. At the tree the 4 aggressive suitors were lined up , leaving me three rejects unless she was one of those polyamorous dinosaur types, and as that was very prevalent in the camp, I would not put it past her, anyway I was hoping she was more normal.
"Emily,you look sexy shabby Burning Man hot, go girl, not one,not two, not three but FOUR suitors are waiting for you, can you pick one and put the others out their misery. PS. I would gladly take the other three rejects off your hand, save them pestering you any further. Now, who will it be?"
I enquired politely with not even a hint of jealousy, just some unnoticeable teeth gnashing.
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